Problem Husband

novice

I dont think you should go on i was in a similar situation with three children, my life was hell, no self esteem, he undermind everything i tried to do, destroyed my self respect, started on the children. Get out whilst you still have only one child. He will never change. I got out with 3 1 baby and 2 toddlers, hard at first but never looked back, the children all turned out well and adjusted. He now onto his 4th wife, made all their lives hell. All the best think of yourself, how you want to be few years down the line, the worse thing you can do is stay for the child he will destroy him as well, it all rubs of on them. Take care.

pickle

Good luck with the date, i hope it all works out for you.

kidtechnical

Elonas message is sound! Go out, have fun, sparkle - you both need to chill & the serious stuff can wait till morning... you may want to throw him a bone & let him know it's mothers day on Sunday too

jellyhead

with the emphasis being on making sure you feel like a special mum rather than him spending the day with his own mother of course

Glad

I hope you have a lovely evening, starting a family can be such a stressful time and affect parents in many different ways, maybe it's him who's depressed causing him to act so unlike the man you fell in love with, if things have a chance of getting to back to how they were it may take some time and effort, but tonight is a start don't expect miracles and then each improvement is a bonus

Savvy_Sue

Oh yes hope it goes / went well, haven't added to this thread before but my heart goes out to you!

elaine373

Basically,wftc is working family tax credit, this is for some-one who works 16 hours plus and is on a low wage/income.
With regard to your marriage problems, i think you really need to talk to some-one to see things clearly, I once went to relate on my own and it helped me see some of the reasons we were experiencing marriage difficulties.(12 years ago and we are still together) You may have post natal depression but whether you do or not your hubby is emotionally abusing you and your self esteem is plummetting. Any-one would be depressed with this.He sounds depressed too. I urge you to talk to a counsellor because then, if you walk away you will know you did your best and will have less regrets.It does make a difference when a child is involved but that isnt a good enough reason to stay. Happy mum/dad = a happy child, and thats not always when they are together.I can remember when my dad and mum split up when i was 9 years old. The relief was indescribable and i was a much happier child when there was calm and peace in the house, All the best with your situation, Love Elaine

elaine373

sorry that message was meant as a reply to another posting, please remove mods.

ninjashell

I have just split from my husband, after years of debt we are nearly all cleared now. But it has left us with no spark for eachother. I had the guts to try and work on it while he said everything was okay, until the other week when he said he was sick of being skint and did not feel the same way about me, felt like that for ages but could not bring himself to hurt my feelings!
After 4 weeks, I have had the 3 days of crying, then a couple of weeks feeling positive. The main thing that has surprised me, is that I havnt missed him and I am ready for a new start with equity from the house.
I felt that after 12 years with him, I could not imagine myself without him, and to be purrrrfectly honest I miss my cat more!

My advice is that living in a unhappy marriage for the sake of a child is not the way to go, luckily I didnt get that far and were planning one for next year. The thought of being put down and unhappy for the next 40 years filled me with dread, and I am now looking forward to happier times and hopefully 2nd time luck finding a nice fellow who appreciates me (and who is hopefully rich too!) always a bonus.

I wish you well in whatever decision you make.

jellyhead

aww ninja will you get your cat back? *HUG*