Problem Husband

Luis

I have not posted on this before, but have felt such echoes with what people have typed, having been in a not dissimilar situation myself 9although thankfully not with children to take into consideration).

All I would like to say is to recommend a book that has helped me with the situation I was in, and with everything since. Now I am hugely sceptical of self help books etc, but this literally changed my life .

It is called 'Feel The Fear...And Do It Anyway' by Susan Jeffers (and for the money saving lovers out there I got it from a second hand bookshop!).

The premise is much like what some other people have posted on here - the fear of making a decision is ALWAYS worse than the actual decision and it's consequences. If you do nothing else, Fit-like and Silverbirch and anyone else struggling, please give it a go, it will empower you so much.

I hope this helps someone.

Luis.

elona

Silverbirch

I do not like to encourage anyone to lie to their partner BUT - once school starts in September, would it be possible to get a part time job that he does not know about and save the money in an emergency account?

That way , he thinks he has you isolated and helpless but you are quietly making preparations for the worst.

If he changes his attitude and you become happy together then the money would be a nice family surprise.

kal25

Hi fit_like
I am sorry to read about your situation. (I am sorry if any of this advice has already given in other replies)
I have 2 young children and a 3rd on the way. Everyone has their ups and downs especially with children. However he should not be criticising you as a mother. The one thing you do have to think about is if you really feel there is nothing left between you and you hubby then it would be best for all including your son to seperate. If he delittles you in front of your son this will affect him as will the arguments and tension as children are very good at picking up on things. Do not for one minute think that you should stay for your son, I have and will always believe that this is not and never will be a good reason to stay.It will do more damage than good in the long run. I speak from experience.
There are 2 examples I can give. My mum left my dad when I was about 4. She remarried and I got on with my step dad.10yrs later I met my dad and have now got a very good relationship with him. I do not hold a grudge either for seperating.
On the other hand my mother in law left my father in law about 3yrs ago. When hubby asked her why she said she should have done it years ago and only stayed for the children. Consequently, through this and that she has hurt my son and my 2 children and caused a lot of heartache. As a consequence my hub no longer talks to his mum and we have nothing to do with her.
This is not always the case obviously but just trying to show that staying for the children is not always the best route. hope this helps.

margaretclare

Silverbirch

See the thread 'How do I live without him?' PinkLipstickBabe says very similar things to what you've said.

Another book for you would be: 'Loving to Survive' by Dee Graham.

Best wishes

Aunty Margaret