Daughter is pregnant - at 15!

marywooyeah

Pollycat wrote: »

A bit like Forest Gump and his box of chocolates?

Sorry, I just thought I'd lighten things up a bit.

*groan* old ones are always the best!

poet123

pelirocco wrote: »

I had a friend at school ( many years ago lol ) who was the youngest of 3 girls . Her Elder sister fell pregnant and subsequently her parents , who were always Mrs Bucket like anyway , were very very strict on the younger 2 daughters . Did it make them into model children? , like hell it did , they put on a front that they were but behind their parents backs they were a complete nightmare .

I think luck plays a part tbh and those with young children , or even young teenagers , you really never know what they will throw at you next

Being "very,very strict" rarely works with kids, far better to be relaxed, give them leeway to make mistakes and allow them to learn from those mistakes, but with concrete boundaries which if they stray beyond they know you will be "disappointed" and that there will be consequences.

No one has perfect kids, it is how you deal with what they throw at you that is important. A bit of psychology goes a long way!

ALIBOBSY

Wow what a massive thread in such a short space of time!

To the op keep going as you are and keep supporting your daughter.

It amazes me the people who critize these type of posts,there are always some who moan about how "their" taxes will have to pay for this, or the parents must be at fault. There is only one way to avoid pregnacy and thats abstenance, and being human every part of us is pushing us to want to do the opposite of that!

Those that critise should remember "let he/she that is without sin cast the first stone" or the modern version about people in glass houses.
Unless you do not have sex until you are in your 20's,married,and financially secure then all those who have a go at young parents/single mums need to calm down.

In this case noone knows what has happened other than conception,I just hope the op's worries (and I think we all know what they are) are unfounded.

ali x

ALIBOBSY

The one big thing the op can take is that at least her DD came to her about this.

Not on the same level really, but recently my teen son had been out with his friends and looked green when he came back, then went straight to bed.

I knew things weren't right and went to see him and was at least comforted that after a little pushing he told me all and admitted they had shared some drink in the park.
We both made it clear it wasn't acceptable behaviour,and he is currently on permanent grounding till he can regain trust-we alwaystalk of trust being earnt and of prizing honesty and communication being vital.

The best behaved, well looked after, loved and well disciplined,well behaved teens can and do make errors in judgement as do we all.As parents we haveto prepare them as children and deal with things as they get older. Even when they are "grown ups" surely you still worry about, support and love them.

ali x

Gavin83

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I would assume that the reason why the daughter would disobey her mother is because the parenting has been too "open", not because it hasn't been open enough!

To be honest if the style of parenting was more strict I doubt the daughter would even bother to tell the parents in the first place unless she fully intended on keeping it. An open style of parenting promotes open discussion.

Pollycat

ALIBOBSY wrote: »

Those that critise should remember "let he/she that is without sin cast the first stone" or the modern version about people in glass houses.
Unless you do not have sex until you are in your 20's,married,and financially secure then all those who have a go at young parents/single mums need to calm down.

I've not actually had a go at young parents and single mums on this thread (or any other thread as far as I can recall), so I don't need to calm down.

But I will point out that there's a world of difference between having sex at the age of 20 (whether you're married and financially secure or not) and having sex at the age of 15.

MrsAtobe

Poppyfield, I hope your daughter found the counselling session today useful. How are you?

Person_one

Pollycat wrote: »

I've not actually had a go at young parents and single mums on this thread (or any other thread as far as I can recall), so I don't need to calm down.

But I will point out that there's a world of difference between having sex at the age of 20 (whether you're married and financially secure or not) and having sex at the age of 15.

Apart from the fact that you're generally better at it by 20, not much for some people. Plenty of 15 year olds are mature enough to have healthy, safe sex lives at 15, you just don't really hear about them...

poet123

Not forgetting the fact that it is against the law!

Person_one

poet123 wrote: »

Not forgetting the fact that it is against the law!

Not you too Poet, Vax has got that angle covered!

I guess an awful lot of us were teenage criminals.