Ladies do you receive house keeping from hubby?

Darlyd

martinthebandit wrote: »

as above, I suppose I am old school on this but I view living together/marriage as a partnership of equals.

and that means share and share alike.

I totally agree, my parents said the exact same thing, But my Dad gave my mum more than he ended up with (£100 more each week) for us..

how do I approach this confo without sounding like a money grabbing bint.. I would love to have a joint account, and do everything more official.

BitterAndTwisted

You state the obvious: he earns more than you but his contribution to the household expenses is less than yours. Where is all of his spending-money going if you're short of housekeeping?

gingin_2

dehaani wrote: »

Yep, it's a profitable line of work being a baby factory.

dehaani, your posts aren't even funny or clever.... they are just weird. I like the odd sarcastic troll but yours just don't cut the mustard.

gingin_2

darlyd, OH works and I don't. I get a "me" allowance and use the joint account for everyday things. I choose for it to be that way, even though it's a bit 1950's.

Bloomin_Freezing2

Nope! His bank card lives in my purse and I let him know how much cash is available after the bills have gone out.

nibs

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

All income should be pooled and any money left over after all of the bills are paid and some put into savings should be split 50/50 as discretionary spends.

Your husband is behaving as if he was your lodger!

Spot on - worked for me and DH for the last 22 years

Darlyd

Thank You so much everyone. I am going to show DH this thread

Because I would like us to open a joint account and get all of our money paid into it, and pay all the bills then what's left split if 50/50.

We need to write down both our out going's and work it out, BUT he can be quite selfish with money, his attitude and I am sure many other men's "I work my bollox of for this money, it's mine". Well at the end of the day, so do I, And when it comes to me needing a second job, it says it all really.

Another thing is I pay health insurance for us all, I know that is not needed to some people, but my experience it is, and DH does not agree with it, even though NHS were slow diagnosing his Dad who sadly passed away. I just don't think DH get's the whole concept of life.

MaLarkin

We have never had "his" money and "my" money since we moved in together lots of years ago. It is all "ours" we set a budget for the bills and we have pocket money in that that is ours to do with as we like. Anything left over we save until we decide to buy something over and above the budget or we put it into long term savings.

Sometimes he has earned more money sometimes me that's irrelevant as far as we are concerned we both do what we can to bring an income into the house.

And when we met I already had two kids. Shouldn't make a difference if you are a committed family unit. Sounds to me as if he feels protective over what's *his* if his attitude over the house is anything to go by.

My guess would be that he thinks by paying the mortgage out of *his* money and keeping you off the deeds you have no claim if you split up. Wrong as you have already been told but it shows a lack of commitment IMO.

Hope I haven't said anything to upset you but I think you need to sit him down and do some straight talking and come up with fair system whatever it might be.

Mojisola

darlyd wrote: »

TWe need to write down both our out going's and work it out, BUT he can be quite selfish with money, his attitude and I am sure many other men's "I work my bollox of for this money, it's mine". Well at the end of the day, so do I, And when it comes to me needing a second job, it says it all really.

Ask him how he would feel if he was made redundant or became too ill to work. Would he expect you to support him or leave him to build up bigger and bigger debts?

If he thinks he works hard, has he ever looked after the children on his own?

HappyMJ

Take him off the health insurance if he doesn't agree with it. Don't pay it for him.