Feeling rich and lost...

celyn90

sarahs999 wrote: »

I went to a state school but got into Oxbridge. My first few weeks were an eye-opener. I couldn't believe how other people lived, what they thought was normal, the privilege that they casually brushed over but that clearly they had felt entitled to all their lives. These people were the haves. Before I met them, I was pretty sure I was a 'have' too - I had a nice childhood, a nice house, went to a good local school and holidayed in Devon each year. Suddenly I was unhappy with my lot, and insecure. What was this alternative life I'd had no idea about, these people who all 'knew' the schools they had gone to but had never heard of mine, and who glazed over when I talked about my life? It was life-changing and it took a long time for me to come to terms with it. I had a boyfriend who was a 'have' and I struggled, in retrospect, to try to keep up with the expectations, the lifestyle, everything that his class took for granted. it was a pretty toxic relationship but I found it hard to escape once I was in the grip of it - the aspiration thing is a powerful drug.

I am from a similar background. I have never, ever felt lesser than my peers, out of place or out of my depth at university. This sounds to me like a lack of confidence rather than a lack of money and something within you that I am not sure that money would have solved.

FBaby

aspiration doesn't forceably mean greed though and can be more a personality thing that a class one. I always strike to better myself, that's just the way I am. When I reach the point that I have achieved what I had aimed to do, I need to go for something else, otherwise, I feel mentally bored and unchallenged, and on the long run, would make me unhappy. That doesn't mean I can't appreciate what I have on the opposite. I have thought for all I have so means everything to me. I know how lucky I am to live the life I live, and mainly that all the people i love are healthy. I don't aspire to luxury at all, nor being rich. I aspire for freedom, mainly psychologically, but obviously the finance goes with it.

In the end, it is not about the background, but mixing with like minded people, and I have found that age and social class has nothing to do with it at all.

sarahs999

celyn90 wrote: »

I am from a similar background. I have never, ever felt lesser than my peers, out of place or out of my depth at university. This sounds to me like a lack of confidence rather than a lack of money and something within you that I am not sure that money would have solved.

It wasn't about money. It was about class. Which was something I'd never even thought about until I went to Oxbridge. It's kind of rammed down your throat there; pretty hard not to be affected by it.