Hacked off being put on like this.

BitterAndTwisted

"She normally always gets her own way over things!" Well, it's about time she stopped getting her own way, about this or anything else that she's unreasonable about. I wouldn't feel the need to explain that buying a father's-day card for someone who is not my father is stupid, pointless and very insincere, even more so when someone else demands that it's bought. Tell her to grow up!

Apricot

I buy a card for my stepdad, but the difference is, I buy it because I want to buy it. He brought me up from a young age and has been very good to me over the years. I never buy one that says "Dad" as to put it bluntly, I have a dad, I think the one I bought for this year just says "For you on Fathers Day".

I certainly wouldn't be buying a card just because my mum demanded I get one!

SympathyForTheDevil

Spring_Time wrote: »

Mothers and Fathers day is a load of old tosh anyway! They barely get registered in our house and we are a very close family. We just will not be told by a retailer when to tell someone we care for just how much we love them!

In your situation I would get the kids to hand make your mums husband a card. It does not have to say "Granddad" or Dad" it can just be a cute picture that the kids draw and them saying something simple like "To ........" "Love from ........." Would keep everyone happy without you having to use the words Dad or Granddad which do not feel right for you

I've got a teenage son who would rather stick pins in his eyes than handmake a cute card

diable wrote: »

You don't have to explain so don't bother emailing her.

You know, you're right.

I'll just leave it be then but if she brings it up again I'll explain I've got a Dad to buy for, and he won't be getting a Grandad card so neither will anyone else.

If she starts moaning I'll just say that he would be getting from his kids if he had a better relationship with them which has nothing to do with me.

CH27

Just say NO!
He isn't your Dad.

Caroline_a

Father's Day, as opposed to Mothering Sunday, is just an invention by the card manufacturers. Waste of money!

diable

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Why explain? Just don't do it. When she flies off the handle just tell her to calm down and grow up a little.

If she does fly off the handle put the phone down.

*Louise*

SympathyForTheDevil wrote: »

She is being childlish over it, then again, she normally always gets her own way over things!

Only if you let her.

People who throw tantrums get used to getting their own way too much becasue people start to tiptoe round them for 'a quiet life'.

You are an adult, if you don't want to send her husband a card then she shouldn't be trying to force you into doing so. Fair enough she just wants her husband to get a card, but if there's no meaning or love behind it, then whats the point?

Stick to your guns, if she yells down the phone at you, remind her you're not a child and you will speak to her again once she has calmed down.

SympathyForTheDevil

Thanks to you all for taking the time to reply.

You've all confirmed it for me that I'm not the one in the wrong here.

I'll be sure to update if there does happen to be an explosive episode again

coin_operated_girl

wow, do we have the same mum?

My mum constantly flies off the handle about stupid little things and when she does its impossible to have a rational conversation with her. When this happens my siblings give in and do what ever she wants, but i wont. I just simply say that i will not discuss the matter until she stops shouting and behaves like an adult and then i put the phone down- i can't be bothered to deal with all her childish dramas, i have much more important things to worry about. Of course she used to constantly phone me back but i just turn my phone off. But now she knows that i wont give her the attention/sympathy (or whatever it is that she wants) and never phones me when shes in one of her moods.

So my advice would be to just say no and you wont discuss it any further- you are an adult, you dont need to justify yourself. When she starts shouting tell her you wont talk to her when shes being like that. Whatever you do, don't give in just to keep the peace (like my siblings do) because that then says to her that she can get her own way if she throws a strop.

make_me_wise

SympathyForTheDevil wrote: »

This happened a few years ago too, only I didn't get him a card and mum played merry hell with me (swearing, shouting and threatening down the phone), then started slagging my dad off to me, then even rang my dad and called him all the names under the sun when it had naff all to do with him!

If anyone behaved in such a manner toward myself and other family members I would instantly cut contact, mother or not. That is an awful way to carry on just because you dont get your own way.

I hate it when someone prompts you to buy cards/presents for people. Your mother is treating you like a child who cannot think for herself, also makes her husband look like a sad sap who has no family or friends who care and needs someone to make a fuss of him. Dont get why your dad got it in the neck either, what was that all about. Bet he feels well rid of her.

I am a bit crafty and try to see the silver lining in every situation. Dont buy the card, wait for your mother to go off on one again (she wont be able to help herself) then take the opportunity to tell her to jog on once and for all :idea: