SAHM paying off debts slowly

slm6002

Thank you.  I will be ok and my kids will be ok because I will make sure of it.  I see their dad loosing interest and that is fine too.  I will get the new start i long for and when that happens i will make sure no one takes it away from us again.
We have returned from the children's activities so its time to shower, chill and do some homework then dinner and film night i think.  Grotty weather here so no plans on going out again today.

slm6002

I'm looking at things / activities to do for Christmas that don't rely on us being in contact with people, just in case.  So many things are not happening this year, but i cant just sit by and do nothing, so getting my thinking cap on.  Also trying to get my dad on zoooom or something similar so we can have a family xmas quiz with my sister and him.  I am hoping my uncle can come to stay with us as he is on his own and love spending time with the kids over christmas. 

Kitten868

Exactly as you say keep your mouth shut until he's off your house with no comeback. Even though it is torture. I know.
Do you need his pension details if he is keen to go away for the amount agreed? Or is it a back up in case he has a change of heart? Saying that if you wait long enough will he try for any custody? Might make it easier? 
Hope being at work gets easier for you soon. And you adjust to your new work/life balance. Its tough when things change as we have so much to balance. I'm also getting my knickers in a twist about Christmas... I may have ordered my turkey. 

You're doing fantastically xxx

slm6002

Thank you.  Apparently the divorce people need to know everything to get a full picture before handing the consent form to the judge for signing off.  I am not touching his pension at all and letting him keep that for a bigger % of the house.  I just know from the 16+ years of being with him, if he has to ring someone or contact someone to find things out he will put it off as hates to do it.  He will say he works full time so no time to make a phone call.  Still has time to play on his games in his breaks.  I just wonder if there are any magic websites that you can enter your personal details and information pops up on all of the pensions.  I doubt he even knows how many he has and sure he will not know who or where there are.  I gave him all of the letters i had kept with pension bits in over the years but doubt he will look at those either.  Just wish info wasn't needed.  I guess i am just impatient.  You would have thought he would want his money lol.
As for Christmas i have my pigs in blankets in the freezer, cranberry sauce and stuffing ready.  I did see local supermarket advertising their frozen turkeys would be in in the next week or so.  Must empty some food out of the freezer if we are going to get one.  I do have a large chicken in the freezer should i have no luck

slm6002

Found a government website that finds lost pensions (i guess they are lost as he has no clue where they are lol), but the link isn't working and keeps going to time out.  I will have a look at it and see if its easy to do.  I can they forward the link to him in the hope he looks at it

Edit - ok it wont tell you how much is in each one, just perhaps how to contact them

slm6002

Found a link to a online panto that can be streamed to our tv.  We always go each christmas - my dads treat - and make a day of it.  I am thinking if he is allowed around here we can get some posh ice cream in for half time and shut curtains and enjoy as a family.  Bonus is that a family ticket is probably less than dad pays for 1 of our normal tickets lol

sonyarita

That's a great idea for the panto! I was starting to think about things we could do at Christmas now my wee one will know what's going on and that sounds a lovely (and cheap) way to spend an afternoon and a great way for you to continue your family tradition.

I didn't take my  one last year as I didn't trust him to sit at peace; I was scared he would run down the aisles shouting and I wouldn't be able to catch him 🤦 

slm6002

I remember the first one i took my daughter to see was jack and the beanstalk.  We sat at the back not only because the tickets were much cheaper, but because i was unsure how she would react.  She was not impressed and was scared of the giant, even though we could only hear him and see a giant boot on stage.  We left at half time and left it a couple more years before we tried again.  Now Dad takes us to the one we went to as a child sometimes, with our grandad.  We go for a meal either before or after and then the panto.  I am thinking of recreating the meal (as we tend to go to the same place and generally order the same things) watch the panto (curtains closed to be like the theatre) and then small pots of ice cream like they serve.
Kids are currently getting ready to go shopping with OH, DS not looking forward to it as really not made for shopping.  They have been promised maccy d's so hopefully that will cheer him up.  Had to tell DD1 what not to let him buy as i already have some things ready for bdays and xmas.

enthusiasticsaver

Sounds like you are well organised for Christmas. I haven't even started yet. Bonus on online panto link. Good idea to get some ice cream etc so it is a bit of a treat. I think this year may be different for lots of people. We don't do pantos now but usually go to the theatre. I haven't even been in a cinema since February although I know they are open. 

slm6002

I too haven't been to cinema for some time now, and certainly not since lockdown.  I don't feel i want to sit with a mask on for several hours.  My sister bought me a pass for 10 tickets, to use on a night when i didn't have the kids as a treat.  Only problem is that it runs out in January and i cant see us going anytime soon.  Feels like a waste.  Also now OH isn't having them to stay over at the moment that's Saturday nights unavailable too.  Maybe they will have a family one we can go to, to use them up near Christmas.