SAHM paying off debts slowly

tryingtodobetter

I have the Help to Save account and have found it very useful. I set up a standing order for £50 on the same day as payday.so I never really miss the money.

slm6002

Afternoon to you all. We have made it to half term and looking forward to lie in tomorrow morning.  Yesterday the kids had clubs and today is DS bday so he kindly woke us at 6.30.  We managed to fit in presents, lego building and birthday cake before OH came to collect him for the day.  One more birthday to go this year before christmas.  Updated my spreadsheet and think i have quite a few presents for christmas, or at least know what i am getting.
On friday the judge signed off the nisi, so i am half divorced.  I then downloaded the forms necessary for the absolute to be applied for and sent it off to the divorce people yesterday.  I know it cant happen for 6 weeks and a day, but they will have it ready when they do.  I also think i have a way of helping OH with his pension figure, so will try to get him to read one of my messages and then that can be forwarded to them asap.
We have a few things planned over half term, and my sister has sent us some money for a day out because 'that's what aunties are for!'.  Bless her.  I think it will be a trip to the local maize maze and pumpkin patch.
I hope you are all keeping well

Kitten868

Woohoo! That sounds great. Really getting ahead and fun planned for the week off. Glad you got to make fun out of what time you had for ds' birthday too. 
Keep going lovely lady! Xxx

slm6002

Wow what a busy week we had - need a week off to recover.  Monday was our quiet day and only had clubs in the evening.  Tuesday eldest DD went to town with friends and then invited them back to the house - all distancing and staying safe, but didnt feel i could relax while they were here.  Wed and Thurs was bike ability for youngest DD while the rest of us cleaned the house ready for my uncle to visit on fri.  Fri during the day we did an outside cooking activity all day.  We were exhausted but everyone enjoyed themselves.  On leaving they gave every family a box of food for 4 people that would cook main meals for 5 days.  There was loads in the box plus the recipes that the food would make.  I found it through the people that supplied us free food parcels over the summer holidays.  It was all free and such a great day.  That evening my uncle arrived.  Saturday was clubs, and was a fancy dress session so up until fri night i had been making costumes as well.  Once home we vegged in front of tv with a spooky (well not too spooky as PG lol) with popcorn and Halloween sweets.  Sunday uncle left at around lunchtime and we tidied up the garden ready for winter.  
Back to preschool/work today and school for the kids.  We are hoping for a early night.  No clubs running now due to the latest orders from boris.  Waiting to hear if boss will make me go in or not as i can work from home, although she prefers me being at work.  We shall see.
I hope you all had a great half term and are ready for the weeks ahead

slm6002

Just paid another £50 into my government savings account.  I know there is only £100 in there but its lovely to see the interest / bonus going up so quickly (now £50)

Golightly72

Just found your diary, what an up and down journey you have had, bless you - hope it’s all up from here for you.

Well done on paying off all that debt and having done savings, you have come so far!

Great that you made the most of the week before lockdown again, and all the free food sounds amazing, what a fab scheme.

slm6002

Well Golightly72 you must have been reading my drivel for ages - well done for getting to the here and now.  Thank you for your kind comments.  It really has been up and down.  I still love the man i married, its just unfortunate that he is no longer the same person.  Me and the children will do very well without him, because i will make sure of it.  Its almost a year to the day that he told me he was leaving and i made him want to kill himself.  I look back on that day and know it was all a lie and just to cover up his lies.  I also know people will know the truth at some point, but unfortunately for them it will be too late to come back into our lives.  I have my true friends standing right beside me.
OK money - i have recently been looking at my credit report and on one closed account  i had lots of missed payments.  I know i paid them through my DMP.  After trying to find the right person who would look at it, they have agreed that it was paid and are letting the right people know so the non payments can be taken off my account.  I am hoping it will increase my chances of getting a good mortgage when needed.  I am really happy it is being sorted and that there is then nothing else bad on my reports.  As an apology they are also sending me £100. Really was not expecting that so bonus for me.  Will put it towards house fund.  Payday was the other day so i have put money into my pots for everything. 
Today is youngest DD's bday - cant believe she is 10.  Now all birthdays are done for this year so its all go with Christmas.  I have the childrens main gifts but might get a few more little bits for their stockings.  There are only a few bits to get for other people.  I just need to wrap things and send / deliver them.
Well i am off to bed as lots to do tomorrow - have a great week everyone

slm6002

Good evening to you all.  A little update .....OH has finally filled in the form re finance split and is bringing it to me tomorrow when he collects the kids.  He asked what to do with it yesterday - told him to send it to the divorce people but this appeared too difficult.  At least this way i can check what he has put and if anything is missing.  It will then take a week for them to draw up a final order and once we have both signed it, it will be sent to the courts (could take 10-15 weeks - depending on how busy they are).  Still some way to go but at least we are going in the right direction.
He has obviously been on a role and managed to close a bank account that was empty, and change the address on his car insurance.  I know this as the bank statement was sent to my address and the car insurance with me taken off and other woman who he apparently isn't sleeping with has been added, has been sent to my email address!  The sooner its over the better.
Really hoping the stamp duty holiday will carry on beyond march as i think its around then that the house can go on the market.  Today I have been window shopping christmas tree decorations for next year.  I went online and put lots of silver and stars into my basket, plus a few other bits and bobs - to my surprise it was up to £127, and i don't think i would even have enough for the whole tree!  I might keep them in the basket and see if they get reduced in the next month or so, but expect its going to take several years to build up the new selection.  We've never had a colour scheme, its just normally all chucked on and its all plastic baubles (as kids were young and we didn't want them broken), but now the kids are growing up its nice to make it look a little more sophisticated lol.
OK must go and cook dinner

slm6002

Form information sent off to the divorce people - fingers crossed it goes through quickly.  Obviously i can see his bank figure from the form and its so low.  How can someone living rent free in their dads garden, have that little in their bank account.  He has very few outgoings.  Oh well no longer my problem, well wont be financially soon.  Perhaps he is hiding it under his mattress.  He also told the children they will get their xmas presents the weekend after xmas as he didn't think i would be wanting him to come round on the day.  Too right, he had them on their birthdays and doesn't even like Christmas.  Its always been my favourite celebration day even when we were together.  To be honest 2 out of the 3 kids are already asking if they have to visit him every other week.  I have said its up to them but i wont force them or tell them they cant go.  I have said if they don't want to go they need to tell him themselves or i will get the blame.  I hate Daddy days as all the feelings get bought up again and i become so angry.  I just about recover and then its here again.
Onward and upwards thinking positively, or at least trying

Kitten868

Stand your ground about Christmas. Sounds straight forward and fair for you to have them for it. Surely you'd give the presents before in his place though? 
Hope the divorce financials go through sharpish xxx