Abortion help :(

facingthefuture

I can't say who it was that did it but no it wasn't myself (i actually had my baby at 20) but I have have had to help her deal with the repercussions, her experience changed my view of abortion and sadly hers (at the time her partner supported her). True everyone is different but when everyone else seems to be just helping her roll on and do it, it really is worth just a second thought. I know of too many 40 year olds that did it and will probably remain childless. I really think its sad.
I am glad the dad supports her, I guess some may be cynical as to his reasons. Seriously, having held my friends legs as she dangled out a towerblock window, I felt guilt that when she first planned/booked it, I wasn't near her enough to help in any way. Even by finding out had she really thought about it. Telephones like the internet only give your bits of info.
Anyway, I guess there are a lot of people who can deal with it with no immediate regrets and get quite aggressive if anyone dare challenge their status quo. My comments were not meant to annoy anyone, I know some here have been there too and I truly am sorry.
If anyone is alright with it then whatever....ps. I couldn't care less if anyone reports me, it seems logical that at least one person asked the girl to fully think it through. I agree her choice whatever she does. All actions have consequences, I guess for some people they are neglible - others not. At the very least you would have thought one of you clever girls would have suggested she get independent counselling prior to making the decision.

failte100

Hi
How are you? HOw did you get on? Would like to know if your ok

kr15snw

OP: Keep going and be strong You seem very level headed and it would be good to hear back from you and keep us updated on what happens. I know when a friend was debating what to do we found it very hard to find a family planning clinic in the area too! She did decide to keep her baby in the end, but it made us aware that there isn't as much help as people think there is!

Failite: she said her appointment was tomorrow

relic

facingthefuture wrote: »

I can't say who it was that did it but no it wasn't myself (i actually had my baby at 20) but I have have had to help her deal with the repercussions, her experience changed my view of abortion and sadly hers (at the time her partner supported her). True everyone is different but when everyone else seems to be just helping her roll on and do it, it really is worth just a second thought. I know of too many 40 year olds that did it and will probably remain childless. I really think its sad.
I am glad the dad supports her, I guess some may be cynical as to his reasons. Seriously, having held my friends legs as she dangled out a towerblock window, I felt guilt that when she first planned/booked it, I wasn't near her enough to help in any way. Even by finding out had she really thought about it. Telephones like the internet only give your bits of info.
Anyway, I guess there are a lot of people who can deal with it with no immediate regrets and get quite aggressive if anyone dare challenge their status quo. My comments were not meant to annoy anyone, I know some here have been there too and I truly am sorry.
If anyone is alright with it then whatever....

I really have trouble with people like you, you apologise yet antagonize at the same time, pathetic.

She has made her decision, she is clearly dealing with it in her own way, and she doesn't need comments (especially when she has already asked for no comments) from a complete stranger like you. You obviously have problems with this, I suggest before putting these on other people, you deal with your own first.

Oh, and when you next comment, try to do it like an adult.

heretolearn_2

facing the future, you didn't ask her to think it through, you attempted to scare her with awful remarks like 'The truth is you will regret doing this' and 'it will pull you down till your dying day' are not a way to ask consider their decision - you are attempting to bully and scare them with untruths.

Actually, someone earlier in the thread did suggest that she see an independent counselling service and look at both sides. No one leapt on that poster as she was polite and non-judgmental, and wasn't telling lies.

we were annoyed as you
1) started a discussion the OP specifically requested would not be part of this thread.
2) presented your view as the only possible response to having an abortion, the reaction that every single woman is guaranteed to have, which you now admit is not true at all. That isn't us aggressively defending our status quo. None of us would deny that some women do have the reaction you mentioned. But it's only SOME. Tell lies on a forum to try to manipulate someone into doing what you think they should, and people will call you on it.

make_me_wise

facingthefuture wrote: »

Anyway, I guess there are a lot of people who can deal with it with no immediate regrets and get quite aggressive if anyone dare challenge their status quo.

So you are assuming that the posters who have responded giving the OP advice, have been through this and are then getting aggressive with you because you are challenging their status quo. What an arrogant and ignorant person you are.

For your information I have never been in the OPs position. I am pregnant myself at the moment. Unlike yourself I am able to offer advice to someone making a hard decision without feeling the need to ram my opinions down their throat and try to scare the living daylights out of them.

izzybusy23

secretsuperdry wrote: »

Regular poster hiding...

I've just found out im pregnant and Im not in a situation to even dream of keeping it I have no idea how far gone I am as I was on the pill (yeh great, thanks for not working!) but the clearblue said +3 weeks so thats anything really!

I havent spoken to the dad in 4 weeks due to rather a nasty breakup but I know he doesn't want kids (I will obviously talk to him about it) so know he will agree that an abortion is the right answer for us. Me? Well Im not in any situation to bring up a child. Im currently out of work and have been for a few months (I relocated to be with boyfriend and have now come back to 'home') and am currently sofa surfing with very nice friends!

I have nothing against people who don't work and have kids but I really do not want to bring a child up in these situations. I don't unfortunately have family around me, so it's just my friends (who are great, but not like that. Lol).

I've looked online and it appears the only abortion clinic in my area is at a private hospital? Will they still do it on the NHS? Im a bit confused!!

Just needed to tell someone as my friends won't understand

Please don't turn this into a pro v anti abortion argument as I will just ignore it.

I know what I have to do, Im just not sure how to do it.

Thank you for listening.

Can I just tell you my story so you have something to think about?

I was married to my first husband and we had been trying for a baby for ages with no success. I was having tests and during this time my marriage broke down due to the stresses of this and other things. He moved out of the marital home, I stayed and found a new partner (now my ex). Because of my infertility (or so I thought) we didn't use anything and within 3 months of being with him I fell pregnant although I found out at 10 weeks gone and by which time we had broke up due to his insecurities of our long distance relationship. :eek: My ex husband wanted to move back in to the marital home as he had secured a new job; so I knew I had to leave as I was carrying another man's baby. I was in a right state and terrified; pregnant, single and living in the marital home I had to leave. I thought about termination but at the age of 33 and having gone through so many fertility tests with my ex husband I knew deep down I couldn't do it as it could be my one and only chance. I kept the baby, I secured private rented accommodation and six years on I have the most beautiful albeit cheeky daughter I could ever wish for. I won't deny times have been tough (we were virtually living just the two of us Mon-Fri for two years as although I got back with my partner he was a weekend dad/partner due to living 180 miles away) and now we have split up again and I am a single parent; but I would never regret my decision to keep her. She's gorgeous, happy and the reason I live and get up each day. There is a wealth of help available to you if you choose to keep your baby, even more so as you are classed as homeless. However, if you choose to have an abortion then thats the right decision for you at this time; I considered it and would never judge somebody for making a decision that's right for them at this point in their life.

Hugs x

Edited as I just read the rest of the replies and note you have spoken to the dad and have both agreed abortion is the right decision to you. Big hugs, very hard decision and I hope he is supportive to you during a difficult time. x

michelle1506

I am quite sure this lady feels bad enough without you making her feel any worse. Abortion may not be your choice, but it is this lady's decision to make and not yours. She may not regret it. Fact is she has a decision to make right now, and if it's not a good time, then it's not a good time! She is only young and has plenty of time ahead of her to still have children.

By the way I am saying this as a lady who is 35 weeks pregnant with twins!

facingthefuture wrote: »

You are going to throw away a child who loves you and you will adore him/her. The truth is you will regret doing this and solving your immediate problem will just give you another you will never deal with, it will pull you down till your dying day. That said, your choice - don't ever blame anyone/anything else. Maybe you need to listen to your heart not your head.

Kate78

facingthefuture wrote: »

You are going to throw away a child who loves you and you will adore him/her. The truth is you will regret doing this and solving your immediate problem will just give you another you will never deal with, it will pull you down till your dying day. That said, your choice - don't ever blame anyone/anything else. Maybe you need to listen to your heart not your head.

Just what the OP needs - not! :mad:

themull1

I had an abortion on the NHS about four years ago at a local hospital, if you need to know anything about the procedure, just pm me. Good luck.!!