OH isn't getting it.

elisebutt65

Crikey! The tone of exhaustion just screams out in your posts!! I'd have either had a screaming fit at him by now or collapsed in a puddle if tears (depending which I thought would work best) to get my point across!

Being a single mum and teaching, I have to do it all, but I don't. Lol. My kids take the Mick and call me a scummy mummy cos I just let everything slide. Too bloody knackered to iron every week? Do it every fortnight! Luckily we've got enough stuff to last(just). Too tired to cook? Fishfinger sandwiches every Friday. I have a lovely bf who helps when he can but he has his own place so I don't like to ask.
I would start off by just looking after you & the kids ironing. He's home - he can do his own! Then when he's got used to that, start slipping the kids things into his pile . Keep the place clean enough to be hygienic - just. Leave cleaning stuff out on the side where he can see it - in front of tv or pc monitor!!
TBH, I would swap jobs though. Cooking is far easier than cleaning and ironing and loads more relaxing. You do batch cooking at weekend & freeze - he cleans during the week and heats up dinner for you, whilst you chill.

sueeve

It only works to swap home roles if he is a man who sees dirt, cobwebs, dust, fingermarks on windows, congealed everything on the cooker. I still haven't worked out whether my husband really doesn't notice - he can put up with it for a long time, as proved when I had shoulder surgery and couldn't do anything.

melancholly

since it's the 'odd' trip to the supermarket where massive amounts of things get thrown in that is the problem, have you thought about a weekly veg bag? saves going out for anything other than milk (well, if you bake bread, otherwise that too!).

i'm at home more then my OH but i tell you, just being a cleaner/cook etc is not fun for me. it doesn't fill me with good feelings; it just gets tedious and i don't get self worth from it (others do, but not me!). my OH helps with cleaning in evenings/weekends and with cooking sometimes. however, since he's contributing the most financially, it's only fair that i do more of my fair share around the house. i can easily see how it can be difficult to be at home all the time doing these kinds of jobs..... so the odd takeaway or microwave meal seems great to me!!

it is all about balance though and you can't always get what you want! i can understand why your OH isn't engaging with it all to a degree, but i do think he needs to at least try for the sake of the money being wasted.

(i should add that ironing gets done when something is needed... it sits in a pile for at least 3 weeks thanks to OH having non-iron shirts! i really hate ironing!!)

Emmzi

value label cakes and biccies are very very cheap so I wonder why you feel you have to make your own? Are you perhaps trying to be too perfect? (Have been guilty of that myself. Am less picky now!)

Judith_W

Going back to the cooking, I think physically teaching how to cook some staples with him may be worth the time and effort. You wouldn't expect a child just to pick up a cookbook and know how to cook, and although he is an adult, if he hasn't had much experience he may not be confident.

Also, although it is a fine line being too bossy, would it help if rather than having the meals x 30 for the month, you actually stipulate Monday = spag bol, Tue = ...?

Gigglepig

Has you OH mentioned how he thinks things are going? Perhaps he'd rather take a p/t job to pay for a cleaner and to have more money to spend on food and snacks. Some people would rather work extra hours and pay a cleaner & pay for nice healthy ready mades, than put in the time to do it themselves. He may feel quite drained as well and it could affect his self esteem if he feels that the house-husband role is not going too well.

Cooking classes sound good, they can be expensive but every now and then there are offers on groupon etc.