babys ears pierced

ceridwen

Crikey:eek:

1. Since when was a child of only 9 months old able to express an opinion on whether they do or dont want something? - in this case whether she wanted her ears pierced or no. MIL is being extremely presumptuous to decide on her behalf....

2. ...and thats the child "labelled" now isnt it?:cool:. By the time the child is old enough to realise that getting her ears pierced at such a young age means "labelled" straight off..she will have got so used to it that it may not occur to her that an instant impression has been formed and it wasnt even any of her own doing.....

Personally - I would be screaming blue murder at MIL at the whole kit and kaboodle:
- putting my child through pain
- making my child's decisions for her like that
- ensuring the child will be "labelled" and categorised instantly by everyone who comes across her (something that will only stop when she gets to an age at which anyone from any background might have had their ears pierced - ie adulthood).

I would be absolutely livid on even just one of those 3 counts and my own suspicion is that MIL has done this (probably at a subconscious level) in order to do what tiny thing she can to ensure that her granddaughter never gets very far in life (ie no farther than MIL herself has). In other words - what a b*tchy thing to do.

MIL would never ever ever get anywhere near the child again unless she categorically promised never ever to hurt the child/make the childs decisions for them or do anything that would "hold back" the child from achieving their full potential (with the comment thrown in - "..and I hope and intend they will go a LOT further than you ever did in life MIL" and hope it stung VERY hard).

That is just so underhand of her...and what else does she plan on doing to try and ruin your daughters chances in life then?

I would lay odds she won't see it like that - ie that that was a bit of "sabotage" of your daughters chances....

Personally - I would take the studs out of the childs ears and throw them away and give MIL the biggest lecture she has ever had in her life.

skylight

I have only just seen this, and am astounded at your calmness. Certainly the best thing to do in the situation, especially today. I would have ripped her another *hole and chased her down the street after throwing her out of the door. And certainly wouldn't be calm enough today to go to a family lunch.

And my anger wouldn't have got me anywhere. Hugs for your daughter and a well done to you.

Glad your FIL is a sensible man. With a bit of luck he gave her what for after you had gone.

ceridwen

balletshoes wrote: »

you're right, thats no excuse - and even if it was cultural on MIL's part, you'd have thought if she thought she was doing OP a favour she would have discussed it with her and her OH before going off and getting it done! OP I'd really struggle to leave my baby alone with a MIL who would do something like that - goodness only knows what she'd take on herself to do next time :eek:!

Well - I wasnt going to put it QUITE so directly - but ..yep..ultimately someone having their ears pierced at a young age is a "cultural" thing. Poor thing - I just assumed "everyone will automatically assume the child is a chav" because of those pierced ears at such a young age. The thought never occurred to me they might even think "traveller".

So nice for the child not to have a chance to make their own life path for themselves - as grandma has decided at the outset that she will be a chav or maybe even traveller - and blow what the baby herself will want from her life :eek: - which may be VERY different.

nottslass_2

flashnazia wrote: »

I think some answers need to be taken with a pinch of salt.

Talk of 'waiting for the day she drops down dead' and 'take this further as it could be assault' are not helpful.

My MIL did the same thing btw. She is a nice person and didn't so it to spite me. She just thinks there is nothing wrong with piercing a baby girls ears that's all.

Although it is serious, blowing this thing up will not help. It may even affect the OPs marriage.

The MIL sounds like the sort of person who would not react well to angry words anyway. And whatever happens she will always be the partner's mum - nothing you can do about that I'm afraid, so starting a war with her isn't going to help.

Sounds like the FIL is a sensible person. Be sensible and you can deal with this. Rage and getting on a high horse rarely helps.

Sorry,but I cannot agree that anyone who puts a Baby through unessesary pain Is a "nice person".

I agree rage isn't going to get the OP anywhere with this woman - the best thing is just to totally cut her out of the kids life's.

pendulum

meritaten wrote: »

I have never ever seen a 7 page thread where every single poster is in agreement!!!

Me neither. I haven't actually read every page but I can well believe it. I'd have gone mental at her.

[STRIKE]OP, if your other half still says your overreacting I suggest you make him read this thread so he realises his error.[/STRIKE] I've read a bit more of previous pages now and seems its been sorted out.

shelley_crow

So she didn't discuss it with you knowing you'd say no and then falsified a document, knowing that the piercer's would kick her backside out of the door if she had told the truth.

Nice woman!

Padstow

Many years ago I sold ear piercing equipment.
We were told under no circumstances demonstrate/pierce those under 15 yrs.

Reasoning was, the minor could sue the parent for abuse and therefor us.

It hasn't happened, yet!

balletshoes

ceridwen wrote: »

Well - I wasnt going to put it QUITE so directly - but ..yep..ultimately someone having their ears pierced at a young age is a "cultural" thing. Poor thing - I just assumed "everyone will automatically assume the child is a chav" because of those pierced ears at such a young age. The thought never occurred to me they might even think "traveller".

So nice for the child not to have a chance to make their own life path for themselves - as grandma has decided at the outset that she will be a chav or maybe even traveller - and blow what the baby herself will want from her life :eek: - which may be VERY different.

ah but I didn't actually mean "chav" or traveller culture when I mentioned cultural reasons - my OH isn't a chav or a traveller , but its perfectly normal in his culture for girls to have their ears pierced as babies/toddlers.

ceridwen

balletshoes wrote: »

ah but I didn't actually mean "chav" or traveller culture when I mentioned cultural reasons - my OH isn't a chav or a traveller , but its perfectly normal in his culture for girls to have their ears pierced as babies/toddlers.

...I'm guessing that his culture is a foreign one then - and not some "layer" or other in British culture iyswim??

I've no idea what's the norm in other countries - just what is expected in Britain and how to interpret accordingly...

vicx

You never over reacted - I too would be fuming. And whilst I agree 100% that your MIL was out of order getting your 9 month old daughters ears pierced without your consent I have to disagree with those who have advised to get the police involved, that's taking it a bit too far and would cause many more family problems. What your MIL done is wrong, yes she put your daughter through unnecessary pain but it's not like she beated and bruised your child. For some reason she didn't see any wrong in having your daughters ears pierced and probably didn't expect this reaction from you but that doesnt mean she had the right to do this without your consent.

The shop should not have pierced your daughters ears without parent consent but even then all they need is a signature - not actual proof the child is yours so anyone who is looking after your child could take her to get her ears peirced, with or without your consent. I would be writing a letter to the salon to make a complaint.