Family bereavement - no closure

Gigervamp

paddy's_mum wrote: »

On a lighter note and I sincerely hope I don't upset the OP by my meant-to-be-comic remark but ....

I so want to know the end of this tale. It's worse than watching 3 hours 55 minutes of Gone with the Wind and then there's a power cut!

The trouble with these sorts of threads is that the OP rarely comes back to update and we are left with no closure.

whitewing

If OP has gone to the police, it is very likely that they would need to refrain from posting updates.

Gigervamp

True, but they could say "Thanks for all the advice. I've been to the police and now that it's a police matter I can't say any more until the legal process has done its job."

And then come back!

DX2

Now I remember the OP! The husband who threw a wet sponge at her......

beasygirl

DX2 wrote: »

Now I remember the OP! The husband who threw a wet sponge at her......

I am indeed the same person, although that thread was deleted after it turned stupid. Yes DH and I have had some rough times, show me a married couple that hasn't. The fact of the matter is I'm here now for support as I really don't know what to do.

DH still hasn't seen this thread, the time just hasn't been right yet.

To clear some things up SIL is DH Half sister. My FIL has one child only and that is my DH, SIL is from my husband's mother's first relationship.

I know it sounds like some made up story and I would think it was if reading it myself. But it is what we are facing at the moment.

I believe in my heart it is right to go to the police, but I don't want to have to convince DH of this. He needs to want to do this himself.

I am grateful for all of the helpful advice I've had from this thread, whether you believe that what I write is the truth or not, people have been kind and from that I am touched.

whitewing

I'm glad you came back with an update. I understand how difficult it is for you, but the longer you leave it, the harder it will become.

poet123

Have you considered the possibility (and it is no more than that) that your DH did in fact receive an email regarding his father's intentions, did nothing about it and deleted it? Buried his head in the sand if you will. Maybe he knew there would be repercussions and didn't want to be involved. Now you are agitating for action because of the bizarre circumstances he is reluctant to go down the path you are advising because he knows it will come out.

I suggest this because it seems to me truly amazing that given the scant info provided by your SIL (who he is not close to and who is not his full sister) he would not want to dig deeper and get closure. That he would not want to know the full details of his father's death and where the body was. I agree with other posters that if you do nothing this could well come back to bite you, implicate you in the disappearance.

If all is as you say you have no option but to report this to the relevant authorities, and the sooner the better, and let them investigate that all was above board and that your FIL really had made this decision without coercion and whilst in sound mind. To do anything less would be very odd behaviour imo.

whitewing

It is a month tomorrow since he (supposedly) died. Personally, I think once that monthiversary passes with you taking no action then you do become part and parcel of whatever untoward is going on.

How much was the oustanding balance with RBS?

Mojisola

beasygirl wrote: »

To clear some things up SIL is DH Half sister. My FIL has one child only and that is my DH, SIL is from my husband's mother's first relationship.

In that case, the sister isn't a blood relation to your FIL and, without a will, has no entitlement to any of his estate. The money she has taken from his account has been stolen by her.

patchwork_cat

Mojisola wrote: »

In that case, the sister isn't a blood relation to your FIL and, without a will, has no entitlement to any of his estate. The money she has taken from his account has been stolen by her.

This is very true under rules of intestacy step children have no right to inherit.