Family bereavement - no closure

peachyprice

beasygirl wrote: »

I think the matter has been made worse in the fact that we were the last to know and lots of people know hell of lot more than us.

OK, how many of all these other people have you spoken to and are they all giving the exact same story as your SIL? Did they all get emails from your FIL? Surely they haven't all deleted them and someone could forward a copy to your OH? (This would be really very handy as the origin of the email can be traced)

patchwork_cat

You say SIL is half daughter, how can you be a half daughter? Do you mean step daughter? I am sorry if this upsets you, but if you didn't have such a high post count I would say this was bull, too. For example I would have thought you would know the term step daughter. The advice seems fairly unanamious GO TO THE POLICE.

puddy

yes go to the police, dont tell SIL as advised

have you turned your phone down yet??!!

also, reading between the lines, when OP says FIL was an 'oddball' it speaks to me of a family that could be dysfunctional, so the messages and information given, and the processing of that information may be different to how the 'average' person processes it. the other members of the family may be of no help to OP and OP may be focusing on RBS over the bereavement itself because thats how the family function

Aytoun27

jaytar wrote: »

Something is puzzling me. You say she spoke to him via skype the day before he died. How could she possibly know he died the next day ?

This would only make sense if it was suicide and he told her that he intended to do it the next day, prehaps in a remote area - the beautiful natural park - with the intention of his body not being found. He may have misguidedly thought that it would be less hassle for everyone. The OP's FIL could even have told his daughter to just take the money from his account, no wills, lawyers etc to trouble with. The SIL may be guilty of nothing more than carrying out her father's wishes and trying to cover up for him, but I do agree with everyone who said that it needs the police to sort it all out.

Loulou2010

patchwork_cat wrote: »

You say SIL is half daughter, how can you be a half daughter? Do you mean step daughter? I am sorry if this upsets you, but if you didn't have such a high post count I would say this was bull, too. For example I would have thought you would know the term step daughter. The advice seems fairly unanamious GO TO THE POLICE.

they could have the same father but different mother or vice versa. i have a half sister. we share the same dad but have different mothers

Hobo17

Loulou2010 wrote: »

they could have the same father but different mother or vice versa. i have a half sister. we share the same dad but have different mothers

but you cannot be half a daughter to someone in the same way you can have a half-sibling. I assume the OP means a stepdaughter.

Loulou2010

Hobo17 wrote: »

but you cannot be half a daughter to someone in the same way you can have a half-sibling. I assume the OP means a stepdaughter.

oh i see what you mean now

patchwork_cat

Loulou2010 wrote: »

they could have the same father but different mother or vice versa. i have a half sister. we share the same dad but have different mothers

As someone else said though she isn't your Dad's half daughter, she is his full daughter, she is your half sister.

meritaten

half - step - makes no difference - she is lying. she cannot know for certain that her father is dead if she spoke to him the day before (if that is true). even if he told her to move money after he died - legally she should not do that!
there is no evidence that this man left the country as yet! for all we know he could be stashed in SILs spare room! far fetched? yes, but so is her story!
as far is the OP is concerned her FIL is missing feared dead - the police could find out in hours whether he left the country entered another country etc.
I quite honestly dont understand why they are taking the SILs word for everything? they dont have the best of relationships and she appears to have taken money she isnt entitled to - yet they dont want to 'open a can of worms'? is there something we dont know? if it had been me I wouldnt have waited for creditors to come calling - and I certainly wouldnt be vacillating about going to the police! I would want to KNOW - is he dead or isnt he? because there is no proof of death here. and if I remember it right a person has to missing for at least 7 years before you can apply to the court to have him declared deceased and his estate to be administered.

Mrs.W_2

I'm sorry for your family's loss.

There have been plenty of cynical posts, and I am afraid mine might also be filed as such.

Looking at all your posts so far, I want to ask if you or your DH were aware of any pension/s FIL was receiving. And might his purposefully obtuse actions be enabling someone close to him to receive his pension/s for some time to come?