Family bereavement - no closure

whitewing

You have a lot to think about at the moment!

Be gentle with hubby. He may not want to march off down to the police station and may be upset at the idea. I still think you should contact the police even if your DH is against it.

whitewing

Bo_Nidle wrote: »

because I said in the 'hope' it may be true. I'm 90% sure its not though.

I find it believable that this is what the OP has been told. I fear the actual truth may differ.

OP, what did you actually tell RBS on the phone?

jaytar

Something is puzzling me. You say she spoke to him via skype the day before he died. How could she possibly know he died the next day ?

hermanmunster_3

jaytar wrote: »

Something is puzzling me. You say she spoke to him via skype the day before he died. How could she possibly know he died the next day ?

perhaps she spoke to him afterwards.


anyway - there are too many loose ends and lots that doesn't fit - OP needs to talk through it with Police as a missing person enquiry. You will never get him declared dead in this country if you don't

whitewing

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/HomeAndCommunity/InYourHome/SupportAtHome/DG_10030785

http://www.missingabroad.org/

Swan_2

jaytar wrote: »

Something is puzzling me. You say she spoke to him via skype the day before he died. How could she possibly know he died the next day ?

yes, how does she know he's dead? he couldn't have told her that himself

& bearing that in mind, someone, somewhere, must know something they're not telling


EDIT ... not having a dig at you OP, but the story you've been told just doesn't add up

Savvy_Sue

beasygirl wrote: »

We did this as soon as we were aware, I was adament we had to get his body back, but he clearly wanted to make it as hard as possible for us to do this.

While I agree that finding out what actually happened is a good idea, as far as you can, I can't help feeling that it's not actually YOUR decision what happens to the body, if / when it's found. I wouldn't expect to tell DH what was going to happen to his parents' bodies after death, any more than I'd expect him to tell me what was going to happen to my parents' bodies.

I would listen to and support DH in the decisions he made, even if I disagreed with them.

paddy's_mum

Bo_Nidle wrote: »

This story is probably bull but in the hope its true my final bit of advice is DO NOT tell the sister in law that you are going to the Police.

Go to the Police first and let them tell the SIL why they are there.

Otherwise you are giving her warning to make up lies and destroy or hide evidence.

I've thanked this post because if you ignore the disbelief, the advice given is actually very much to the point and of real value. It is an aspect of taking the whole matter to the Police that nobody else has thought to warn the OP about.

Errata

The problem we find ourselves in, is we are now being hounded by Royal Bank of Scotland for his unpaid credit card. He registered all his accounts with us at this address to make it easier when the time came. RBS will only speak to the account holder, and we have no death certificate to close the account as there is no trace of my father in law

Why are you being hounded by RBS? Why are they phoning you umpteen times a day? Just tell them the account holder doesn't live at your address and at the moment you don't have an address for him. It's not your problem.
Got to your local police station, report your FIL as missing, tell the police everything you have been told and expect to see some quizzical looks and raised eyebrows. There is no proof of death - dead people can't tell other people they're dead. Is there any proof that he was in Cambodia? Perhaps he's living with your SIL.

vroombroom

have you called the police OP?

hope you get sorted x