Life is what you make it .......

Wordsmith

Everything sounding good and upbeat, SA. I'm off to Somerset for a day or two so won't be on here again until the end of the week, so just wanted to wish you luck for the job interview. I am so pleased for you that doors seem to be opening. Knock 'em dead!

Horace

There is a way to deal with the sniffer in the office - keep a packet of handbag sized tissues closeby and hand them to him. I did this on the bus the other morning because I could not stand the sniffing..bleurgghh.

Ladies That Latte is a women only networking group - last night cost me £10 and I had some hot chocolate with cherry and a slice of victoria sponge - the hot choc was way too sweet and the victoria sponge didnt taste of much. I did have a free back and shoulder massage though which was pretty cool. I made some new contacts and the organiser of Ladies That Latte wants me to organise events for her and a manager from Regus (posh serviced offices) wants to meet me next week to show me around and discuss networking events for Regus:cool: The show around will be good because I have just used my FSB membership to save myself over £300 on Gold Membership of Regus so that I can used their business world lounges throughout the UK whenever I want:cool: This FSB membership is great because I pay £120 per annum get covered for tax inspections, have free legal advice, free banking and a host of other benefits:D It also makes me feel like a proper business.

I was networking again this morning and will be again tonight so lunchtime I plan on having 40 winks. Am too busy by half these days but you will be pleased to know that I am having a weekend off - I am going away Friday, coming back Sunday - I am camping in Herefordshire:j

It all sounds fabby for you SA - when you say across the pond, which pond do you mean?

startagain_2

Busy, busy, busy Horace - I can't keep up just reading about it!

"across the pond" is the Atlantic - I spent over 4 years living on an island in the Caribbean and 15 years travelling back and forth. The last time I went, after a 2 year break, was this time last year - stayed a month, and then regretted it at length afterwards. A very long standing, on/off relationship, has been going on with a "native" and I just can't get over him. Wordsmith and the others badger me relentlessly to move on - I need it, too easy to slink back and get hurt all over again.

Still, on to other things - Work OK but a bit boring, it is quiet. Manager over loud and headache inducing, not for much longer, I hope. Weather dry enough to take MrT out for a very long walk.

Friend emailing relentlessly angling to come visit next week - help! I am going to think about it, stalling for time at the moment.

Speak tomorrow,

SA

Wordsmith

I may be "abroad", but I am still checking up. Just as well, it seems. Hmmm ... Last week you were definitely not going to see friend; today you are thinking about it. It would be good to see your friend, but not if the consequences are months more of mental anguish. Sorry to be harsh, but you have been doing so well, I would hate to see all your hard work down the pan. Be strong my lovely (see friend and don't get sucked in to conversations on he-who-will-not-be-named, or don't see friend at all).

startagain_2

I am feeling pretty fed up.... I have wondered whether to post anything, but I have been honest all the way through, so why stop now?

My probation review today consisted of being told that my work is exemplary, my work ethic is second to none, my attendance and time keeping are perfect

BUT..... my character appears to be flawed - I am sarcastic,argumentative and I need to improve! The probation has been extended for a month.

I am devastated.

I just don't understand how I can be allowed to apply for other vacancies in the company if this is the case. What the heck is going on? I have an interview at the end of the week and get told this 48 hours before - that is just great

I think I understand what the HR manager was saying last week when they said that if I stayed in the department the "situation would be compounded" I just don't want to be there anymore.

Examples were given that were pure heresay - gossip, almost and used as bona fide reasons as to why I shouldn't pass probation.
Young, male colleague has, it seems, passed problem free - he made sure he left his contract on the desk for all to see.

I feel an undervalued, patronised fool. I am both embarassed and humiliated and am not sure how to go forward. I can't see another manager in the company wanting me with that hanging around my neck.

Advice anyone?

SA

RosaBernicia

Aw SA

First ((hug))

Then, basically, ???????????????????
Presumably this is coming from your local eejit manager and has not yet been reviewed or discussed with HR??
I would go straight back to HR lady for advice. Firstly because it's unlikely you'll get any sense from current manager, so you need another opinion. Second, because if you go to them for advice on how to deal with the situation it will be visible that your manager is using inappropriate examples - and as we've said before, suspect HR is onto her anyway - and it may be possible to get this changed. Thirdly, given that HR have already agreed you can apply elsewhere despite your probation status, they clearly don't think there is a legitimate problem (if there were, it would have come up in discussion and they would have quietly insisted that you follow protocol by not applying) so I am sure they will help you find a way round this for references.

Quite frankly it sounds like b*****cks to me, anyone who is going to base competency on personality attributes should know that it should be done by demonstrating an impact on work, not as a passing judgement, and ought to have concrete examples. And a manager who expects all their team to behave like clones, or can't handle different approaches, is just demonstrating their own insecurity and incompetence.

Given what you said about encouraging collections etc, I suspect insecurity is exactly her issue - some people never seem to understand that being 'liked' or doing outwardly 'together' things does not make them respected - or even that the two things may be distinct. We have someone like this in my current workplace - sycophantic deputy, 'team spirit' of buying expensive presents and showing off to rest of the office... now facing a grievance procedure from the hard worker who refused to toady and was therefore bullied. (The person raising the grievance is a friend of mine and I know has a full record of evidence, so I hope the bully gets what she deserves.)

Don't let them knock you SA, just carry on and be brilliant at your interview so you can get the heck out of there to a department who will appreciate you!

Rosa xx

Horace

SA - life in the caribbean must be grand but you can do without the baggage of ex - time to move forward instead of looking back. See friend but don't discuss ex at all and if she brings the subject up - say that you no longer wish to talk about it and if she fails to take the hint then walk away.

What a pile of bull poo - as Rosa has suggested go back to HR.

Am too busy by half, I awarded myself with a lie in this morning (too many early mornings and late nights) then I had to go to work and I hated it because it was reconciling accounts and it seems that I have been doing somethings wrong, I ended up staying until 6.30pm:eek: Thankfully, I am not in on Friday and have already made my excuses.

Am bursting at the mo (not with wee, before you ask) - a year or so back I became with a lady called Jay Aston (I cannot remember now how we came to chat and I know we haven't met in person), well, I received an email from her today inviting me to the London Palladium on 11 July for the 30th Anniversary of Bucks Fizz (I can get a friends and family ticket for 75% off - all proceeds to Make a Wish Foundation), well, she has now asked me about caterers for the pre-show drinky poos and the after show celeb party where OK magazine will also be present. If course I am going to go - it would be rude not to so I need to arrange transport there and hotel accommodation overnight:D

Things are looking up at long last for little old Horace:D

dojoman

Don`t really know what to post SA. After following both your diaries I find it hard to see any sort of sarcasm in your nature or that you appear to be argumentative either. I have always found your posts on the whole to be very upbeat and positive, with no hint of sarcasm to be found. I know it is easy to say but try and keep your chin up and to remain positive.

Wordsmith

Sorry to hear your news, SA. My input, for what it's worth:

First, I agree with everything RosaBernicia said. Great post, RB.

I am assuming that your meeting was just with your manager and not with the HR manager? If it was me, I would email the HR manager, who you seemed to get on well with at your meeting, and tell her how disappointed you are and provide your reasons, simply and calmly, as to why you disagree. And also ask the question: why were you encouraged to go for another position when you haven't been allowed to pass the probation in the current one? The HR manager must have known what the results of your probation were going to be.

You have an interview tomorrow, right? Be prepared to be asked about the extended probation. This is tricky because if it was me I'd want to tut and say I wanted to give the manager a slap for being such a little madam, but this of course is not going to get you the job. On the other hand, I wouldn't want to roll over and say she's right and I'll change. But if they ask, you do have to acknowledge it, maybe say you've given it a lot of thought and ... whatever ("I feel the manager has taken comments out of context and therefore not understood the situation"). If you're not asked, though, keep mum. Presumably the HR manager will be on the interview panel and if she doesn't think it a problem, she won't bring it up.

Now, this is the hard bit. Before you do any of that, I would sit down and be totally honest with yourself and ask if there is any truth in what your manager said. Yes, something you said could have been blown up out of proportion, yes you didn't mean what you said to be taken in a particular way, and so on, but hand on heart, can you see where they are coming from? IF the answer is yes, then in your email you can say that you didn't mean your remarks/comments to be taken the way they did but you can now understand why they were and you will modify your wording in future to ensure no one takes offence ... or words to that effect. If your answer to yourself is that you are certain in your own mind that your manager's comments are unfounded, your email could explain why you think so and you would like the right of reply. Please know that I am not saying your manager's comments were reasonable. I am thinking from the perspective of someone else who has been misunderstood most of her life! As dojoman says, nothing you have written in your posts would suggest that you are at work as your manager is saying.

If you have got an interview tomorrow, maybe it would be better to speak to your HR manager on the phone rather than emailing.

I think, really, it does say it all when you recount your HR manager saying the "situation would be compounded" if you stayed. It does rather suggest that she thinks the manager is largely or wholly to blame. You never know, the HR person may not even know what the little upstart has said to you in the meeting.

Whatever you do, don't buckle and think you are not worthy of going to the interview. Go, show them what you are made of and be the very best you can be, because your very best is just great. YOU are just great.

startagain_2

I was going to write a post this morning but my computer froze and I lost it all (again) but , I have had time to think it over and read Wordsmiths's post - huge thanks to everyone.....

OK - I have spent the day constructively, I have bought new shoes to match new dress for interview tomorrow. I have put a colour through my hair to hide the ever increasing grey ones :eek: and then sat down for hours preparing myself for the interview tomorrow.

I will answer your points in random order -

HR manager did know in advance of the review decision as I was handed a signed letter from her at the end of it. It was dated the previous day. I do tend to agree with you all that I don't think she is 100% in agreement, or support, but is paying it lip service, so to speak.

There is an element of truth in my personality being one in which I don't suffer fools gladly. I do feel that my comments have been misread, either intentionally or non intentionally, on a couple of occasions. There have been a number of incidents that have happened (not involving me) that I have heard my Manager recounting afterwards and I have been amazed at her "take" on it. Namely the twisting of what happened and the need to vastly exaggerate the events. I think there is an element of this in my case.

My main grievance is that none of the examples she used were picked up at the time of occurance. If there really was an issue then it should have been highlighted straight away giving me a chance to rectify it and move on. It seems like they have either been saved up, or concocted, and it just sounded like a "he said/she said". What my Manager calls feedback, I call tittle-tattle.

Rosa is right - people have different personalities and it is about harnessing peoples strengths and using them, rather than slating them for their weaknesses.


I am determined to move on and get one of these full time jobs. If I don't then I am stuck, but I think my HR manager recognises that I can't stay there and be happy. Ironic that this job, and the last short lived one, both involved problems with a young, stroppy female far too big for their boots.

It is so hard to go from being a manager to being micro managed. I am used to being in positions of trust and responsibility,using my initiative, not asking permission to walk from one office to another, and being denied - so it didn't appear that I was "wandering around" Perleease!!!!!


I am going to finish making notes for the interview tomorrow.

Visiting friend has contacted me asking to visit next week - I am going to put her off. I am sure that the conversation will swiftly involve the ex, especially if there is drink involved, and I dont want that.

Heck, I sound so negative, Sorry folks..... will get positive head back on a.s.a.p

Speak soon,

Hugs

SA