Government cuts have led us to question our marrage?

pearl123

beezbonnet wrote: »

What money I spend I tend to spend on the children getting them the best bikes , musical instruments, gadgets, days out. etc, stuff I wanted but never had.

I question whether it is actually right to give kids the best stuff/ gadgets in life. What happens if one of the children does not progress well in the education system threw one reason or another. And therefore does not acquire a well paid job. What happens if he/she has learned to expect the best and just can't afford it later on in life?

The OP also sounds like he has over-extended himself financially, as someone else said too many houses etc.
He blames everyone else - even the government, but not himself.
So it looks like the wife might be scrapped, as she does not fit into his budget.

The meaning of life is....................?

I actually hope the the wife finds a lovely fella. Therefore, her on off depression lifts. I also suspect that his divorce money calculations are well off the mark. With four children it's going to cost dearly. Some people really do need to come down to earth with a bump.

He's a landlord..earning well.. why should he have government handouts ? Cut your cloth according to your means !

jetta_wales

pearl123 wrote: »

I question whether it is actually right to give kids the best stuff/ gadgets in life. What happens if one of the children does not progress well in the education system threw one reason or another. And therefore does not acquire a well paid job. What happens if he/she has learned to expect the best and just can't afford it later on in life?

The OP also sounds like he has over-extended himself financially, as someone else said too many houses etc.
He blames everyone else - even the government, but not himself.
So it looks like the wife might be scrapped, as she does not fit into his budget.

The meaning of life is....................?

I see the assumptions just keep on coming.

pearl123

Yes Jetta_Wales .. I suppose I did go off on a bit of an tangent. It's very difficult hear someone complaining (the OP) when they appear to have so much compared with those who have so very little. I realised he worked for it.

thorsoak

I just wonder how he will explain it to the children?

jetta_wales

thorsoak wrote: »

I just wonder how he will explain it to the children?

Hopefully with the "Mum and Dad just want to be friends now" kind of approach not "Well kids because of the big bad Tory's...." lol

pearl123

He'd probably get the wife to tell the children !

jetta_wales

pearl123 wrote: »

He'd probably get the wife to tell the children !

Why?......

onlyroz

I'm still not understanding the comments about pensions being bad. I have just received a pension statement from my previous job (which I had for 4 years on a salary a bit less than your current one). There is £14k in there. I also have about £2k in a pension from a job I only had for 6 months. Therefore, assuming I continue at a similar or higher rate I should have a reasonable pension pot when I retire in 30 years or so. So I'm extremely puzzled about why you only have a £30k pension pot.

Anyway, my advice would be to work harder on your marriage, get yourself the snip if you don't want any more kids, and send your wife out to work as soon as she's able. Encourage her to exercise that amazing work ethic that you claim she has.

I also wouldn't worry so much about university fees - they won't be payable until your children have actually graduated and are in a well paying job.

beezbonnet

Back from skate boarding now. Yep education is important but kids of a certain age you need to learn how to do an ollie.

ust a couple of comments....Child benefit isn't cut if you're on more than £40K, anyone gets that regardless of income according to the HMRC website. It's Child Tax Credits that are based on income - I just got a letter from them informing me I wasn't entitled to them anymore, but my child benefit payment is still continuing

Child benefit will be cut.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/child-benefit-cuts-will-hit-not-only-affluent-but-lowincome-families-as-well-2274408.html

Problems between wife and I.

Get a solicitor (there's no denying you're going to need one with that many assets to split) and do what you already know you need to do because you certainly don't sound like you're ever going to be living a 'happily ever after' with this woman.

Yes we could go the legal route. This forum is full of threads about women who leave the husband, break the family finances. They are generally backed up by other posters it all costs us tax payers money and few have a problem with that.

If I wanted to take the nasty route I'd have moved to the country home with the kids who are desperate to live there. That would be the simple brutal approach.
When I mentioned about what we argue about I didn't mention my mother, we don't argue about her because I refuse to get drawn into it. Wife hates her, kids love her. It would all be so easy if we could move there its the
rivalry with the mother in law thats stopping it.
I could also mention I'm not the only one planning to move out. My sister and mother both call me to say my eleven year old is phoning them to ask if she can leave home and come live with them and go to school there.
You see how it would end up. Id get the country house and the 3 older kids. The wife would get loads of assets and be the one facing the burden of supporting me, that and a poor young child to look after.
The stress of it could tip her over the edge.

What I'm proposing is a compromise. I live down the street. I can feed the cloth them entertain them all she damned well needs to do is tuck them up in bed at night and wake them up and help with the school runs a bit.
You see if the kids come with me it might mean financial ruin for one or both of us.

14 mile round trip. Yes it sounds easy. Thing is at the moment with the bus I leave the same time as the daughter and am at work for 8am so I cam be back at home by 5pm so I get more family time. I dont want to be getting home after 6pm.

Tidy house. What constitutes a mess differs between men and women.
To my wife a garage full of BMXs Mountain bikes, roller blades, skate boards, guitars, drum kits, scalextric is a bl**dy mess. 3 tv controllers, why did we need a new telly the old one wasn't broken and your not giving the old one away, you paid £300 for that!!! Why do the kids need a laptop each!!! Managing to get to watch a bit of the Manu Barcelona game now, yes Rooney scored, just hope I can watch the whole game.
To a man, as I now have to iron my own clothes I do it in the evening watching telly cant she do the same or in the afternoon or ,or at the weekend when I'm out entertaining the kids? Id better start ironing now so I can watch rest of game.

ellay864

Oh I'd love to be home by 6...that's getting rarer now with all the traffic and as I had to up my hours to full-time.
And I hope you got on better with the ironing than Utd did with that game (from a rather chuffed Liverpool fan!)