Government cuts have led us to question our marrage?

Britwife

Bottom line is....if you want it to work, you CAN make it work.

Look at cutting expenses that aren't necessary. Children are smart because their parents get involved...not because of the school. Make the best of your local school and there's a huge savings right there. We dont live in the best school district and my teen did terrible on his GCSE's, however, he's worked hard at his first year of college and will be attending another year at college before applying for Uni to have a career in engineering...so the best school aren't the be all to have a future. You make it work no matter where you are.

We are a family of soon to be 6 and live in a tiny 3br house but we make it work for us. We come up with clever storage areas and don't have clutter. It works and we're happy. Plus it makes us spend time as a family instead of the kids running off to their rooms.

Cut out things you don't need. My sweet dh gave me £200 to spend at the baby show, I spent £60 and only got what I needed. I really wanted a Bugaboo for this baby so sold stuff on ebay to pay for it.

and one last important thing....please don't jump to conclusions about your wife trapping you with another baby. I've had several friends get pregnant while on birth control and with an IUD. None of them are 100% unfortunately. So unless she has admitted it, understand that pregnancy can happen.

and as I mentioned before, try to take a look at the blessings in your life. I know it must be upsetting thinking about your future but it will work out in some way. There's nothing wrong with preparing for your future.

Wish you all the best

Edited to add, my son struggled in school because we moved here from another country and he started here year 9. We did what we could at home but if we had more time, I know he would have done better.

clearingout

Two and half years ago my now ex husband walked out on me for another woman he had been setting up home with for some time. I was just pregnant with our third child. He expected to walk away with everything - and I mean EVERYTHING, including the children, both our home and the rental property we owned, cars, business....he expected to do that because he worked and I didn't. He thought the courts would give him everything because he was such a wonderful father, and an incredible husband who had been forced into an affair by his dreadful wife. He assumed that everyone knew how dreadful I was and would support him - and that includes the police, the mental health system and the courts.

2 1/2 years later I can assure you that he didn't get what he wanted. And on top of that, the one thing he most definately didn't get, and will never get, is a broken ex-wife. When it comes down to it, it is he who lost everything - his children (who he no longer sees - his choice, girlfriend is more important or won't let him, I'm not sure which), his business, his home, his rental property, his income. He has debts, CCJs etc. etc. coming out of his ears. How he sleeps at night is beyond me. He has made only one maintenance payment in 2 1/2 years and is constantly harassed by the CSA. He doesn't see why he should pay for his children - the government and tax payers are quite happy to do that.

I can assure you also that living on benefits is no fun whatsoever, packing up a home with sobbing children isn't fun, telling your sobbing children that daddy wants to live with another lady and there's nothing we can do about it is no fun, living a single life is no fun and frankly, living with the fact that you're divorced and you've failed in some way is no fun. Dealing with solicitors, having to deal with someone you once loved who is angry and distressed and upset, dragging things through court, fighting for the 'right' and 'fair' settlement etc. etc. are all sheer hell.

OP - learn the lesson my ex is yet to even acknowledge. If you're not happy with the way things are, YOU need to change them. But you need to do that with decency and respect and keep your personal integrity in tact. You are planning, I think, to walk away from your responsibilities and are working on turning your wife into someone other than the woman she is to justify your actions. You have nothing in common? Then talk. Seriously talk. She got pregnant on purpose (as I apparently did - we used condoms, ex didn't use one less than 4 days before he walked out on me and not using condoms is how we conceived our other two - but it was my fault!!!), you need to talk (and I have a friend who conceived twins whilst using the Pill AND condoms - you don't want babies, you don't have sex). She won't work? Have you looked seriously at the work available in your area? childcare options? considered how she will do school runs etc. and work? She won't move? Because she's frightened of losing what support network she has and you won't help her? The house is untidy? Because she's miserable and lonely and depressed living with 3 children (and if heavily pregnant can't reach the floor to pick things up anyway) and a husband who is too preoccupied by what he doesn't have to give a damn about what he does?

Seriously. You are far closer to separation and divorce than you think you are. It works for some, I agree. But not everyone.

The OP would have far more than the Government cuts to worry about is he s