Government cuts have led us to question our marrage?

Tropez

beezbonnet wrote: »

In truth we have also grown apart but we stay together because we believe strongly in family values.

I'm staying with my family to support them.

It seams or dreams and ambitions for the future are very different which is our problem.

The way things are looking we've done very well but now our lives are going no where now. Staying together for the sake of the kids we're not just wasting time we;re actually causing our selves financial harm, punished for trying to keep our marriage together.

I'm considering suggesting we separate.

I can have a clean tidy home where the children can come for meals and any time they want and to get away from each other if they need some space. I cant live in the country but I can have the odd day away somewhere I choose when I want.

So really, it isn't the government cuts that is putting strain on your marriage. Clearly, there is already strain on your marriage - you've grown apart, you don't share ideas for the future, you want different things to what family life affords and from the way you have worded this it doesn't sound like you even love your wife any more.

Therefore, essentially, you have a situation where you want out of the marriage but rather than simply face facts and admit that you don't feel the marriage is working, you're looking for somebody else to blame and so are choosing to blame the government.

If money were the be all and end all few marriages would survive. Financial arguments, in the majority of cases, should come second to love and respect and it doesn't appear that there is any love here, at least not from you.

margaretclare

Do 'strong family values' equate with 'staying with the family just to support them' i.e. support them financially, not emotionally, not in any other way?

Mupette

globetraveller wrote: »

so why is there a 4th baby on the way?

Well when a mummy bird and a daddy bird who love each other very much.....

peachyprice

If you have this....

beezbonnet wrote: »

My wife has only ever worked occasionally and part time

And this.

The wife can take ...........the people carrier

Why on earth would you pay for this?

we will have to pay £3000 a year per child for the school bus if we move.

globetraveller

Mupette wrote: »

Well when a mummy bird and a daddy bird who love each other very much.....

but they don't. That's the point

pearl123

Cut your cloth according to your means. You can't have it all in life. With all your properties you sound like you are doing rather well overall.
There are people who wonder where the next meal is coming from!
You have a family and children. Is that not enough?

Spring_Time

I personally think that you have an issue with your marriage to even let these thoughts enter your head. I would address that first rather then voluntarily hatching plans to have tax payers pay for your children. The sentence "Clean and tidy home" from your post jumped out at me which validates to me that your real issue is your marriage and home life.

If you have such a strong work ethic, what will you be passing to your children? Do what you can, sacrifice everything just to get a hand out?

Not so ethical.

justjohn

Wish the OP would get back and either verify or knock all these prosumptions on the head....

globetraveller

with a house and 2 rental properties which SHE owns, how much could she receive in benefits? You also have 70k in savings.
Its probably as well for you she is refusing to consider it.

jetta_wales

Child benefit is only being cut if the person claiming it earns over £40k isn't it? In this case it would be the Mum and she isn't earning over that so would still receive it.

Somebody feel free to correct me and give a link if I've got that wrong?