Government cuts have led us to question our marrage?

justjohn

Emmzi wrote: »

Smacks of mid life crisis and I'll bet there's a potential girlfriend lurking.

lol Bit btichy that.....

"dreaming about a quiet place away from all the kids he has created" - your assumption (he actually said he would move just down the road so he could have easy access to the kids)

Unsure why ever one is on this guys case - only thing i can see is he is blaming gov for his financial predicament(which is incorrect)

globetraveller

so why is there a 4th baby on the way?

justjohn

globetraveller wrote: »

so why is there a 4th baby on the way?

i don't think this is the place for a sex education talk...

People do not always realize/ or are willing to admit there are problems in relationship until after the fact.

onlyroz

CAN1976 wrote: »

i thought you didnt lose child benefit until £44k. Has that changed?Any poss of u salary sacrificing to a pension? That brings your reported salary down.

Yes, this has changed - nice Mr Cameron lowered the 40% tax threshold. I'm not sure of the exact amount but it's somewhere not too much higher than £40k.

I do have sympathy for the poster - raising four kids on £42k is *not* a walk in the park.

I'm not completely sure of your arguments about pensions being a bad investment. Could you please elaborate? My understanding is that if you're on the threshold for 40% tax then you can keep your salary down by maxing out your pension contributions. If you're not already doing it then you could take out child-care vouchers, which would bring your salary down by another £243 a month.

I also have a "borderline" salary, and I also wouldn't want to lose my child benefit - yes I could get on fine without it, but it's not an insignificant amount of money to be suddenly told you're not getting any more.

January20

justjohn wrote: »

lol Bit btichy that.....

"dreaming about a quiet place away from all the kids he has created" - your assumption (he actually said he would move just down the road so he could have easy access to the kids)

Unsure why ever one is on this guys case - only thing i can see is he is blaming gov for his financial predicament(which is incorrect)

No he also said he would have "a clean tidy home" (his words) down the road where the kids could come for meals and get away from each other (so doesn't sound like he'll have them all at once so their mother can have a break!) And his wife could have the house fully paid, no other money, live on benefits (so we all pay for his 4 kids) and get 25% of his salary. Check the first post again - second last paragraph!

I agree with emmzi. It smacks of mid life crisis. The OP also sounds like a cold person who values money and a quiet life above his wife and children! Shouldn't have made so many children then, should he? It was ok whilst he worked away from home so much of the time, but now reality has hit him hard and he can't take it! so he's going to run away! Very good example for the kids isn't it?

Despicable!

no-oneknowsme

:rotfl: You lot are just lucky you could read the OP !

I made it about a third of the way through before the lack of paragraphs really got to me

no-oneknowsme

beezbonnet wrote: »

Thoughts.......................

Wife and I are in early 40s, and are reasonably prosperous.
Up until recently my income was around 52K pa which I had to work pretty hard for, a large part of my income was out of hours and working away from home.


This was a bit hard on us both, my wife suffers occasional depression, worrying about her side of family and also sometimes felt trapped in the home, so when redundancy was offered, as my job could be outsourced abroad, I settled for redundancy around 12 months pay and took a job for 10K less and better hours. Pay is declining in my industry unfortunately and I'm getting older and want to spend time with kids more.


My wife has only ever worked occasionally and part time but I bought a couple of rental properties in her name so we could benefit from her tax allowance. (a studio 5 miles away with very good tenant I don't want to loose bought for a pitance which would incur capital gains if sold for 45K and a 4 bed house 200 miles away worth about 5K more than paid, about 140K, 70K mortgaged, no tenant sale underway) I say we were prosperous.



We have 3 children eldest 11 and a 4th on the way imminently. We live in a very modest 4 (small) bed detached (value about 240K). We have savings around 70K which could pay mortgage off on 3rd property.
I have 3 pensions from various prior employment which have all performed disastrously, so now only pay pension on what what would be 40% taxed. At the moment I pay no pension as im border line 40% tax.



I guess thats where the bad news starts. I had thought I could save to pay for my kids to go to university but with 4 kids and little pension I wont be able to give each what by then will be well in access of current 9k a year to each of them for 3 years and still leave each with debts for living expenses. I was hoping for an early retirement.



We would also like to move to a bigger home for the baby however this is again complicated. I have the eldest in a (very highly rated) church school which is 7 miles away. We have a free bus, but due to cut backs we only continue to qualify for free bus if we remain at current address, we will have to pay £3000 a year per child for the school bus if we move. Moving closer to the school is difficult as it's in an inner city area.



This year we lost our family tax credits which I didn't mind a bit, but next year april 2012 if I earn even my current salary we will loose child allowance, which is considerable with 4 children. Understand the rule will be once in 40% tax loose all child allowance?
We both came from impoverished backgrounds but were brought up with strong work ethics. In past we have support other extended family members. In truth we have also grown apart but we stay together because we believe strongly in family values.


I don't want any sympathy this is not about that. It just seems that we are in a peculiar situation, or maybe not so peculiar does this run true for anyone else?
We have considerable savings which are being heavily eroded by inflation.


If we move to a bigger house (locally) we are hit with thousands of pounds fees or our children suffer educationally.
To avoid a £5000 pay cut (loss in child allowance) I will need to pay increasing sums into another non returning pension or arrange for unpaid leave as I will have a child under 5, (think that scheme still exists 'parental leave' up to total 6 months leave from work can be requested while have child under 5?)

What ever way if we live together I must accept my income is fixed at £42K for next few years unless I can find another job on over 47K. Then for the risk of moving and fact I'm only a walk to work now I got to be looking for 50K+ with travel costs for any noticeable income improvement.

I'm staying with my family to support them, I'm a good wage earner but the insanities of the system I feel are making me a burden on them they'd be no worse off (financially) with me out the house. From working away before I know the kids benefit from me being near.

I would have liked to sell up and move the whole family to a very rural location where large properties are very cheep, I already bought the 3rd property with good school catchment area above, I would take any simple job, money would not matter as our current home would sell for 2 rental properties so we;d have rent times 3 + any little I made but the wife has point blank refused. It seams or dreams and ambitions for the future are very different which is our problem.


The way things are looking we've done very well but now our lives are going no where now. Staying together for the sake of the kids we're not just wasting time we;re actually causing our selves financial harm, punished for trying to keep our marriage together. I'm considering suggesting we separate.


I can move out and buy a 2 bed house in an adjoining street. only a minutes walk away. The wife can take the 240K house furnishings and the people carrier but no money and I can take the rest which will amount to almost as much as she's got. She will have a fully paid for home with more space she can run her way but can live on benefits and 25% of my pay whatever, and have a child minder available down the street. I can have a clean tidy home where the children can come for meals and any time they want and to get away from each other if they need some space. I cant live in the country but I can have the odd day away somewhere I choose when I want.

Odd though it seems, Government cuts which will effect us, may cause us to consider costing the government more and it may be better for the children if we are separated but live close than before where we were married but I worked away. ........

Quoted merely so I could add some more paragraphs to enable me to read.

justjohn

January20 wrote: »

No he also said he would have "a clean tidy home" (his words) down the road where the kids could come for meals and get away from each other (so doesn't sound like he'll have them all at once so their mother can have a break!) And his wife could have the house fully paid, no other money, live on benefits (so we all pay for his 4 kids) and get 25% of his salary. Check the first post again - second last paragraph!

I agree with emmzi. It smacks of mid life crisis. The OP also sounds like a cold person who values money and a quiet life above his wife and children! Shouldn't have made so many children then, should he? It was ok whilst he worked away from home so much of the time, but now reality has hit him hard and he can't take it! so he's going to run away! Very good example for the kids isn't it?

Despicable!

Think you are assuming alot be it correct or wrong.

January20

justjohn wrote: »

Think you are assuming alot be it correct or wrong.

I'm basing my opinion of the OP on what he wrote!

Alikay

beezbonnet wrote: »

Odd though it seems, Government cuts which will effect us, may cause us to consider costing the government more and it may be better for the children if we are separated but live close than before where we were married but I worked away. ........

You mean you'd seriously jeopardise the emotional and financial security you and your family have simply to get a few tax-breaks or be able to claim some benefits??!!

Stop feeling so flaming sorry for yourself and go and look at how many people have it worse than you (hang around outside the nearest hospice if you must). There will always be people who get more than you from "the pot" and people who appear to have it easier in life. Get over it.