Government cuts have led us to question our marrage?

beezbonnet

Thoughts.......................

Wife and I are in early 40s, and are reasonably prosperous.
Up until recently my income was around 52K pa which I had to work pretty hard for, a large part of my income was out of hours and working away from home. This was a bit hard on us both, my wife suffers occasional depression, worrying about her side of family and also sometimes felt trapped in the home, so when redundancy was offered, as my job could be outsourced abroad, I settled for redundancy around 12 months pay and took a job for 10K less and better hours. Pay is declining in my industry unfortunately and I'm getting older and want to spend time with kids more. My wife has only ever worked occasionally and part time but I bought a couple of rental properties in her name so we could benefit from her tax allowance. (a studio 5 miles away with very good tenant I don't want to loose bought for a pitance which would incur capital gains if sold for 45K and a 4 bed house 200 miles away worth about 5K more than paid, about 140K, 70K mortgaged, no tenant sale underway) I say we were prosperous.
We have 3 children eldest 11 and a 4th on the way imminently. We live in a very modest 4 (small) bed detached (value about 240K). We have savings around 70K which could pay mortgage off on 3rd property.
I have 3 pensions from various prior employment which have all performed disastrously, so now only pay pension on what what would be 40% taxed. At the moment I pay no pension as im border line 40% tax.
I guess thats where the bad news starts. I had thought I could save to pay for my kids to go to university but with 4 kids and little pension I wont be able to give each what by then will be well in access of current 9k a year to each of them for 3 years and still leave each with debts for living expenses. I was hoping for an early retirement.
We would also like to move to a bigger home for the baby however this is again complicated. I have the eldest in a (very highly rated) church school which is 7 miles away. We have a free bus, but due to cut backs we only continue to qualify for free bus if we remain at current address, we will have to pay £3000 a year per child for the school bus if we move. Moving closer to the school is difficult as it's in an inner city area.
This year we lost our family tax credits which I didn't mind a bit, but next year april 2012 if I earn even my current salary we will loose child allowance, which is considerable with 4 children. Understand the rule will be once in 40% tax loose all child allowance?
We both came from impoverished backgrounds but were brought up with strong work ethics. In past we have support other extended family members. In truth we have also grown apart but we stay together because we believe strongly in family values.
I don't want any sympathy this is not about that. It just seems that we are in a peculiar situation, or maybe not so peculiar does this run true for anyone else?
We have considerable savings which are being heavily eroded by inflation.
If we move to a bigger house (locally) we are hit with thousands of pounds fees or our children suffer educationally.
To avoid a £5000 pay cut (loss in child allowance) I will need to pay increasing sums into another non returning pension or arrange for unpaid leave as I will have a child under 5, (think that scheme still exists 'parental leave' up to total 6 months leave from work can be requested while have child under 5?) What ever way if we live together I must accept my income is fixed at £42K for next few years unless I can find another job on over 47K. Then for the risk of moving and fact I'm only a walk to work now I got to be looking for 50K+ with travel costs for any noticeable income improvement.

I'm staying with my family to support them, I'm a good wage earner but the insanities of the system I feel are making me a burden on them they'd be no worse off (financially) with me out the house. From working away before I know the kids benefit from me being near.

I would have liked to sell up and move the whole family to a very rural location where large properties are very cheep, I already bought the 3rd property with good school catchment area above, I would take any simple job, money would not matter as our current home would sell for 2 rental properties so we;d have rent times 3 + any little I made but the wife has point blank refused. It seams or dreams and ambitions for the future are very different which is our problem.

The way things are looking we've done very well but now our lives are going no where now. Staying together for the sake of the kids we're not just wasting time we;re actually causing our selves financial harm, punished for trying to keep our marriage together. I'm considering suggesting we separate. I can move out and buy a 2 bed house in an adjoining street. only a minutes walk away. The wife can take the 240K house furnishings and the people carrier but no money and I can take the rest which will amount to almost as much as she's got. She will have a fully paid for home with more space she can run her way but can live on benefits and 25% of my pay whatever, and have a child minder available down the street. I can have a clean tidy home where the children can come for meals and any time they want and to get away from each other if they need some space. I cant live in the country but I can have the odd day away somewhere I choose when I want.

Odd though it seems, Government cuts which will effect us, may cause us to consider costing the government more and it may be better for the children if we are separated but live close than before where we were married but I worked away. ........

Mupette

beezbonnet wrote: »

Thoughts.......................

Wife and I are in early 40s, and are reasonably prosperous.
Up until recently my income was around 52K pa which I had to work pretty hard for, a large part of my income was out of hours and working away from home. This was a bit hard on us both, my wife suffers occasional depression, worrying about her side of family and also sometimes felt trapped in the home, so when redundancy was offered, as my job could be outsourced abroad, I settled for redundancy around 12 months pay and took a job for 10K less and better hours. Pay is declining in my industry unfortunately and I'm getting older and want to spend time with kids more. My wife has only ever worked occasionally and part time but I bought a couple of rental properties in her name so we could benefit from her tax allowance. (a studio 5 miles away with very good tenant I don't want to loose bought for a pitance which would incur capital gains if sold for 45K and a 4 bed house 200 miles away worth about 5K more than paid, about 140K, 70K mortgaged, no tenant sale underway) I say we were prosperous.
We have 3 children eldest 11 and a 4th on the way imminently. We live in a very modest 4 (small) bed detached (value about 240K). We have savings around 70K which could pay mortgage off on 3rd property.
I have 3 pensions from various prior employment which have all performed disastrously, so now only pay pension on what what would be 40% taxed. At the moment I pay no pension as im border line 40% tax.
I guess thats where the bad news starts. I had thought I could save to pay for my kids to go to university but with 4 kids and little pension I wont be able to give each what by then will be well in access of current 9k a year to each of them for 3 years and still leave each with debts for living expenses. I was hoping for an early retirement.
We would also like to move to a bigger home for the baby however this is again complicated. I have the eldest in a (very highly rated) church school which is 7 miles away. We have a free bus, but due to cut backs we only continue to qualify for free bus if we remain at current address, we will have to pay £3000 a year per child for the school bus if we move. Moving closer to the school is difficult as it's in an inner city area.
This year we lost our family tax credits which I didn't mind a bit, but next year april 2012 if I earn even my current salary we will loose child allowance, which is considerable with 4 children. Understand the rule will be once in 40% tax loose all child allowance?
We both came from impoverished backgrounds but were brought up with strong work ethics. In past we have support other extended family members. In truth we have also grown apart but we stay together because we believe strongly in family values.
I don't want any sympathy this is not about that. It just seems that we are in a peculiar situation, or maybe not so peculiar does this run true for anyone else?
We have considerable savings which are being heavily eroded by inflation.
If we move to a bigger house (locally) we are hit with thousands of pounds fees or our children suffer educationally.
To avoid a £5000 pay cut (loss in child allowance) I will need to pay increasing sums into another non returning pension or arrange for unpaid leave as I will have a child under 5, (think that scheme still exists 'parental leave' up to total 6 months leave from work can be requested while have child under 5?) What ever way if we live together I must accept my income is fixed at £42K for next few years unless I can find another job on over 47K. Then for the risk of moving and fact I'm only a walk to work now I got to be looking for 50K+ with travel costs for any noticeable income improvement.

I'm staying with my family to support them, I'm a good wage earner but the insanities of the system I feel are making me a burden on them they'd be no worse off (financially) with me out the house. From working away before I know the kids benefit from me being near.

I would have liked to sell up and move the whole family to a very rural location where large properties are very cheep, I already bought the 3rd property with good school catchment area above, I would take any simple job, money would not matter as our current home would sell for 2 rental properties so we;d have rent times 3 + any little I made but the wife has point blank refused. It seams or dreams and ambitions for the future are very different which is our problem.

The way things are looking we've done very well but now our lives are going no where now. Staying together for the sake of the kids we're not just wasting time we;re actually causing our selves financial harm, punished for trying to keep our marriage together. I'm considering suggesting we separate. I can move out and buy a 2 bed house in an adjoining street. only a minutes walk away. The wife can take the 240K house furnishings and the people carrier but no money and I can take the rest which will amount to almost as much as she's got. She will have a fully paid for home with more space she can run her way but can live on benefits and 25% of my pay whatever, and have a child minder available down the street. I can have a clean tidy home where the children can come for meals and any time they want and to get away from each other if they need some space. I cant live in the country but I can have the odd day away somewhere I choose when I want.

Odd though it seems, Government cuts which will effect us, may cause us to consider costing the government more and it may be better for the children if we are separated but live close than before where we were married but I worked away. ........

sorry so what your saying is you want your cake and eat it, get benefits that you wouldn't really miss, if you are struggling, sell the houses your renting out, you not in poverty, far from it, this is a money saving forum so my suggestion is sell the houses your not living in. Are you going to loose that much money that you can't afford to live, or is it not wanting to do without what you have be accustomed to?

kitschkitty

wow - so you work hard, to bring up your family, you're pretty secure and well off compared to many and yet your complaining about your financial situation.

If you have relationship/family issues transferring them to financial issues won't cure them,. I suggest relate, not a financial planner.

coolcait

That's a new excuse for getting out of a relationship:

"It's not you, it's the government...."

sohurtandlost

U cant blame the government for that! Sell the other properties! Tell wifey to get a job, cut down and open ur eyes to the real world!

ailuro2

Let me know which sector you're in where you were earning £52K a year but don't know how to spell pittance or cheap or lose and don't use spell check .;)

Tripp trapp tripp trapp, who's that tripp trapping over my bridge??:p

go_cat

you don't think much of your family and new baby on the way if you are prepared to move out just to recover £5k lost child benefit - surely it would cost that much running an additional home ...unless of course you don't plan on living there in which case that is benefit fraud

You should actually think yourself lucky that you are in the position you are... many people who have faced redundancy haven't been as lucky to secure a job on a generous income.

CAN1976

i thought you didnt lose child benefit until £44k. Has that changed?Any poss of u salary sacrificing to a pension? That brings your reported salary down.

floss2

When I read the thread title, I thought it was about a local government employee who had received no pay rise or increment and was facing pay cuts and parking charges (like me and my colleagues)...not a whinge about having 3 mortgages, almost 4 children and a decent salary.

Does your wife know how you feel? Maybe she would have some sensible suggestions if you discussed it witn her, rather than telling her what you want to do. Then again, she may be quite happy to separate from someone who appears to consider material things are more important than his children.

By the way, I hope your tenants are all in secure employment, otherwise you may not be able to service your mortgage payments.

justjohn

Money is not everything, And if government cuts are putting a question on your marriage, then sooner or later something else would have.

What does your wife want? Have you talked about it?

I am not one for flogging my guts out. Life's for living not for working. My opinion is once you have worked for what you need then you scale back on the work.(So i get were you are coming from)

I am all for a more pleasant life style and less money(as long as you are not a burden too society)

Emmzi

ailuro2 wrote: »

Let me know which sector you're in where you were earning £52K a year but don't know how to spell pittance or cheap or lose and don't use spell check .;)

Tripp trapp tripp trapp, who's that tripp trapping over my bridge??:p

In fairness I have a responsible job but sometimes spell things badly when I am tired.

What isn't adding up for me is
- strong work ethic yet wife won't work
- grown apart yet brand new baby
- "the wife" not "my wife" always indicates to me someone who is "living outside the situation" i.e. in their own head

Practical things
- wife gets a job if they want to fund uni
- wife drives kids to school avoiding bus bill
- fund uni by selling properties
- hubby stops being an !!!! dreaming about a quiet place away from all the kids he has created, lives with his decisions, goes to marriage guidance, and just gets on with life like the rest of us have to do

Smacks of mid life crisis and I'll bet there's a potential girlfriend lurking.