Defiant child and pansy teacher.

KiKi

lauren_1 wrote: »

Please tell me how or where I am going wrong with this situation?

No-one has said that you are wrong for needing to forcefully take your child into school. What we're saying is that the receptionist reported it, and the teacher has to act on any report given to them of concern.

Where are you going wrong? You are picking up on every single possibly negative point or criticism, and ignoring the EXCELLENT advice by people who UNDERSTAND your anger (PLEASE see my first post on the first page), but are encouraging you to stop challenging the teacher about the SS issue, and focus on getting your daughter more help.

You seem to have ignored those posts entirely. You say you are amazed that no-one understands that you're angry, but I said in my first post it's completely understandable!

FOCUS your energies on getting your child help. You are not a bad parent - and your teacher only did what she is required to do by law if she receives any reports of concern.

You are angry - very angry. And I get it, I really do. I'd be livid if I was under investigation for something I know damn well I didn't do. But being angry WON'T MAKE THE SITUATION BETTER. You need to make it better for your child. Fight the school for more help, for a better assessment. Go to your GP and fight for help there, too. This isn't about you being a bad parent, it's about your child not getting the right support.

Do those things, and you will be on the right path to making things better.

If it helps you to think of it in these terms: so*d the teacher. She won't be teaching your child after July anyway. Ignore her problems, and focus on your child.

KiKi

ladymarmalade1970

KiKi wrote: »

No-one has said that you are wrong for needing to forcefully take your child into school. What we're saying is that the receptionist reported it, and the teacher has to act on any report given to them of concern.

Where are you going wrong? You are picking up on every single possibly negative point or criticism, and ignoring the EXCELLENT advice by people who UNDERSTAND your anger (PLEASE see my first post on the first page), but are encouraging you to stop challenging the teacher about the SS issue, and focus on getting your daughter more help.

You seem to have ignored those posts entirely. You say you are amazed that no-one understands that you're angry, but I said in my first post it's completely understandable!

FOCUS your energies on getting your child help. You are not a bad parent - and your teacher only did what she is required to do by law if she receives any reports of concern.

You are angry - very angry. And I get it, I really do. I'd be livid if I was under investigation for something I know damn well I didn't do. But being angry WON'T MAKE THE SITUATION BETTER. You need to make it better for your child. Fight the school for more help, for a better assessment. Go to your GP and fight for help there, too. This isn't about you being a bad parent, it's about your child not getting the right support.

Do those things, and you will be on the right path to making things better.

If it helps you to think of it in these terms: so*d the teacher. She won't be teaching your child after July anyway. Ignore her problems, and focus on your child.

KiKi

I think this has summed up the sitation beautifully. Please read it a couple of times so you can see what she is saying. In particular the bit about the bad parent because no one has said that.

KiKi

emsywoo123 wrote: »

No, I would be gutted that it had got to that situation. Embarrassed, worried, concerned yes. angry, no.

In fairness to the OP, I can see where she's coming from here. I don't think it's productive, but I can see it.

If you've struggled with your child for 7 years, taken them from specialist to specialist only to get no diagnosis and little support, and struggle to get them to school - then one day get reported for struggling to bring them to school, yes I can understand the anger. The anger that no-one helps, that people make it worse. It's easy to feel that way after years of struggle.

I also don't think a suggestion that she has aspergers is helpful. I think she's just so angry and upset that she's not reading things properly, and picking up on all the criticism rather than the positive of moving forward.

KiKi

Blackpool_Saver

Blackpool-Saver is a female lol, good luck OP, I meant no offence, just could see a pattern similar to that shown by my son.

euronorris

lauren_1 wrote: »

If i didnt want to deal with it why would I have been taking her back and forth to every specialist under the sun since she was 3?

Why you are getting so defensive about this? People aren't trying to make you feel bad, or attack you, they've just noticed something that perhaps you haven't been able to as you are so close to the situation.

So many people on this thread are offering good, helpful advice. So, please, instead of getting angry and defensive about it, take it all on board and do something positive with it.

And ask yourself, how is being defensive helping you in this situation?

emsywoo123

KiKi wrote: »

In fairness to the OP, I can see where she's coming from here. I don't think it's productive, but I can see it.

If you've struggled with your child for 7 years, taken them from specialist to specialist only to get no diagnosis and little support, and struggle to get them to school - then one day get reported for struggling to bring them to school, yes I can understand the anger. The anger that no-one helps, that people make it worse. It's easy to feel that way after years of struggle.

I also don't think a suggestion that she has aspergers is helpful. I think she's just so angry and upset that she's not reading things properly, and picking up on all the criticism rather than the positive of moving forward.

KiKi

That is your opinion, I as giving mine. Anger is not what I would be feeling.

And for the record, I do not think she has Aspergers!

KiKi

emsywoo123 wrote: »

And for the record, I do not think she has Aspergers!

Yes, sorry - I just added the Aspergers bit on after quoting your post. I should have used a double line break!

KiKi

*doodle*_2

lauren_1 wrote: »

Ok, I am a nurse, I am 29, I have 3 children and to add to that I have a degree in Anatomy and a PGCE.

So you are a teacher? Then in that case you should know all about safeguarding and of the systems in place for children with special needs.

I dunno ... reading your OP and the additional snippets that you have made here and there I am beginning to doubt the validity of your claims.

Mrs_Arcanum

The issue seems to be with one particular teacher who for whatever reason has problems with this child and Mother. Including ridiculing the OP in front of other parents and children. The OP also mentioned her DD has not had these issues with other teachers. Unfortunately the DD has not the emotional skills to work through this as well as most children and digs her heels in.

All that can be done is to keep pushing for better/more support and hope that by next September they will have a new teacher.

Channel the anger & frustration more productively. You can move mountains.

*doodle*_2

Mrs_Arcanum wrote: »

The issue seems to be with one particular teacher who for whatever reason has problems with this child and Mother. Including ridiculing the OP in front of other parents and children. The OP also mentioned her DD has not had these issues with other teachers. Unfortunately the DD has not the emotional skills to work through this as well as most children and digs her heels in.

All that can be done is to keep pushing for better/more support and hope that by next September they will have a new teacher.

Channel the anger & frustration more productively. You can move mountains.

The head teacher would have reported her to SS - not the class teacher. Ridiculing the OP? The teacher should have spoken with her in private but I believe that the OPs emotions have read into this too much. Don't forget, she went on the defensive and did not respond in an appropriate, mature manner.