Just feel like i want to end it all

SamanthaA

sotonsue wrote: »

my son went in and did his gcse English exam this mornin and has been on the sofa ever since ...poor thing must be exhausted after having a WHOLE 2 hours in school !!

Very LOL!:p

beanielou

Sue~Just catching up with your thread.
Good news on you getting your payments reduced meantime.
It might be time to think about bankrupcy.
Hope your dad is on the mend.
Remember you are doing so well.
Keep plodding.

dancingfairy

sotonsue wrote: »

12 years i sufferd abuse at the hands of that monster 12 years of my life !!..if i had know how much help was out there i'm sure i would of had the courage to go sooner.I urge any woman who is suffering TO GET OUT AND GET HELP !! life isn't a bed of roses for me as you know by what i have written but I'M FREE !!!

On the other hand you could have stayed another 12 years - you had the courage to get out. O.k it could have been sooner but YOU DID IT. It sounds very much like you all need help- including your son.
I don't think counselling should have a time limit on it and if it didn't work the first time or partially worked then don't give up - if you need the help you need the help.
df

timbstoke

Scully38 wrote: »

TV Licence - Consequence is a fine or imprisonment. Remember with this you can set up weekly, monthly payments. If you have Sky cancel it and get a Freeview box or reduce it to the barest minimum, usually £9.99 or thereabouts.

TV License is *not* a priority debt for a few reasons: 1. They need to prove you're watching TV - owning one isn't enough. If you don't let them in and they can't see your TV, they can't prove that. 2. Even if they do, in the vast majority of cases, the fine is the price of a TV License, often less if you attend court and show that you couldn't afford it. However, if money is as tight as you say, consider just not using the TV, then none of this is an issue.

I'd also consider home insurance less essential. You're renting, so buildings insurance is a non-issue anyway - if you have it, cancel it because you have no insurable interest in the building. Consider how much it would cost you to replace everything, and make your own judgement call to decide if it's worth keeping contents insurance. I went through a long period with no insurance when I needed the money for other things.

You say you need your car - why? How far away from work are you? Seriously consider getting rid. I've never had a car, because by the time I was ready to take my test I was already in debt and couldn't afford one. I've always managed and if you look at your options, you probably can too. If you really do need it to get to work, consider selling your car, doing your CBT and buying a scooter - compared to a car they're incredibly cheap.

Some of these decisions don't sound great - you might not want to consider getting rid of your car, for example. But do the maths on what it's costing you - with petrol prices today, it gets very expensive very quickly. Unfortunately, one of the things about being in debt is you sometimes have to re-evaluate what is and is not essential.

Also - you're paying your sons fines, and giving him money to get him out of your hair? HE'S 16!!! I hate to sound mean, but if I was in your situation and he'd put me in that situation, he'd have been kicked out, and I'd be applying for a smaller house. McDonalds will take him on at 16 as will many other places - tell him to get a job and start paying rent.

sotonsue

Tim..Thanku for your advice
I need my car as i'm a care assistant and go house to house without it i would loose my job and also where i live the buses arn't great.my house is privat rented and under my tenancy agreement it states i must have insuance.Ive cancelled my tv licence direct debit for now as it isn't priorty at the moment its something i can catch up with later on, ive also cancelled other non priortity payments to top the money comming out of my account.
Ive been to the housing (even got a letter off the doctor) but still only got 15 points and i need at least 65.if things don't improve with my son and things do take a turn for the worse and he does end up out on the street (really don't want this) then i will look to get a smaller place .

My son has his exams now and he's already doing a day at college and hope he will get a fulltime place , i'm hoping this will be a turning point IF NOT i know i have done my best and the rest will be up to him...i will wash my hands !!
He has been looking for work( i have made him , theres just nothing out there !!

sotonsue

BIT OF GOOD NEWS !!

my son has been given a 3 months membership at the local gym from the awards project.He go's today for his induction (think thats what u call it) i'm hoping this will keep him off the streets and away from the IN crowd for abit.
He's got his YOP meeting today and he's going there straight after...he did have abit off a spring in his step has he walked out the door...theres a 1st !!

I know its easy for people to say just THROW HIM OUT but its hard when its your own.believe me i have done before now , ive even called the police to remove him from the house when he's kicked off.i hate him for what he's done and for what he does but i still love him he's my son...Ive already told him if he messes his college place up i want no more to do with him because i have bent over backwards to sort it all out and to get him there each week...next few months are make or break time !!...i need a life too

sotonsue

DF....
one of the main things i suffer with is no self worth, low self esteem...ive lost all pride in myself.i'm an attractive woman ( have been told afew times and only 42 but i just couldn't careless about myself, its a chore to wash my hair if i didn't have too i wouldn't !! i wash my face with 12p and only put moisturiser on if ive got any soap.have got afew nice clothes what ive picked up here and there but never where them i would rather walk around in scruffy t-shirts and jeans ..ive become the same at home too, i just cant be botherd ive got no pride in anything anymore.Nothing gets ironed,washing baskets always full and wont even tell u what my bedrooms like ( who's gonna go in there anyway i always keep livingroom clean though and the kitchen which is connected just incase of any police visits i was never like this and i know its to do with deppression too
I want to make an effort with myself and try , i want my old self back !!
The carboots will help as they will help me declutter

I have a little garden and its just paving stones and weeds...and if you stand at the back of the garden in the corner at about 2.30 you get some sun i was thinking if i had the money i would like to put some pots out there and plant some flowers and grow something and if its in pots i can always take with me if i do move JUST GOT NO MONEY FOR BLOODY POTS !!

I'd love to feel good again

sotonsue

jackieb wrote: »

Sue, i'm pleased you've got your payments down. That should be a big help.

And Sue, every mother feels guilty over something or other. xx Have you ever had family counselling? It might help if your son got everything out.

I did do some family councelling but my son wouldn't co operate so the sessions were ended.He is going to YOP everyweek now so hope that will help him xx

sotonsue

beanielou wrote: »

Sue~Just catching up with your thread.
Good news on you getting your payments reduced meantime.
It might be time to think about bankrupcy.
Hope your dad is on the mend.
Remember you are doing so well.
Keep plodding.

Ive been looking into a debt relieforder(never heard of them before) o but i'm just not upto going through with all that right now but think this will be the route i take..its just so daunting

rdchick

sotonsue wrote: »

I have a little garden and its just paving stones and weeds...and if you stand at the back of the garden in the corner at about 2.30 you get some sun i was thinking if i had the money i would like to put some pots out there and plant some flowers and grow something and if its in pots i can always take with me if i do move JUST GOT NO MONEY FOR BLOODY POTS !!

I'd love to feel good again

Sue have you signed up to Freecycle - I am also from Soton and I know they're awesome on there just say - wanted - pots and someone no doubt will help you out for absolutely nout it's great!! I've given away a birdcage, some blinds and other bits and bobs that I couldn't be bothered to sell so who knows!!