Another husband post!

mamaninie

What is your situation with tax credits? if you're on a low income I was under the impression that you would be better with tax credits than with childcare vouchers???

<hugs> for going through a tough time

Loanranger

You and your husband view money in different ways. You are very organised and he's not. He won't change how he is anymore than you will change how you are. The key is a workable compromise where each fully understands the other and is accepting of the other's differences.
From reading between the lines he works long hours, getting up before the rest of the family and coming home late. Playing devil's advocate, he probably thinks he's entitled to a drink or three and some quiet time away from the hurly burly of youngsters and wife who constantly berates him for spending money.
I don't necessarily agree that this attitude is right, just putting forward another perspective.
You are viewing the difficulties from your perspective and not allowing for his perspective.

calisto

Alleycat wrote: »

My husband mostly does too, but seems to go through these cycles of blowing it all so fast. I just can't believe that he's spent £80 more than his budget in one week!! What has he been buying, gold plated crisps??

Does he have a car? Kerb crawlers can get street girls around £10 per BJ and £20 for full on. £80 would probably pay for bareback.

Ok, I jest, but if there is really £80 missing every now and then and no reason for it (like boys nights out)... what can i say?

Maybe he is paying instalments on a nice Franklin Mint Tutenkahmun clock of Elvis and the Battle of Britain for your Xmas present???

ERICS_MUM

calisto wrote: »

Does he have a car? Kerb crawlers can get street girls around £10 per BJ and £20 for full on. £80 would probably pay for bareback.

Ok, I jest, but if there is really £80 missing every now and then and no reason for it (like boys nights out)... what can i say?

Maybe he is paying instalments on a nice Franklin Mint Tutenkahmun clock of Elvis and the Battle of Britain for your Xmas present???

This is just plain nasty. The OP's situation is beyond the point where she would appreciate a "jest".

gravitytolls

briancrum wrote: »

...............but its ok because benefits will pay for all that. DISGUSTING. No wonder this country is in the crapper when the government pays people too much benefit- enough to go on their jollys and have takeaways. FANTASTIC EH

Pffft, concentrate before you start ranting, they both work, reckon the odd take away and holiday, budgeted for, is not unreasonable in the citcumstances.

Re. HB, the DISGUSTING issue, is that private rents have been allowed to spiral out of control and out of the reach of families with both parents working, and that wages haven't risen enough to ensure families don't need help!

Oh, and actually, I find your attitude pretty DISGUSTING too.

Alleycat

Spoke to hubby when he came in last night. Said we were shafted this month and asked him about the £20 he drew out yesterday (that was on top of his weekly spending money). He said he was starting on next weeks money. Asked him what he was going to live on for the rest of this week and he said he still had about a tenner left. Still will mean he's down £20 next week. I'm not going to bail him out with his full amount next week which he probably thinks will happen.

Good news though, the cheque has cleared for nursery! So what we have left will have to last until pay day. Can't believe I'm saying that and it's only mid month. It will be tight but doable I think. Next month it won't happen again. I'm going to make the suggestion of leaving our bank cards at home to stop that wayward spending and see how it goes. If it's both of us doing it, then it comes across as a joint thing rather than specifically pointing the finger.

Don't worry, I am very sure he isn't spending his money on girls! We live in London, so beer for example isn't cheap which is where it has gone I'm sure. Plus we don't have a car as it's too expensive and not essential living here.

Tax Credits are sorted as we don't qualify anymore.

I try not to nag and the kids are in bed when he gets in from work so he has peace and quiet then. It is helpful to see things from his perspective and I think I do okay. We do both have slightly different attitudes to money. I think he forgets sometimes that we really can't take our eyes off the ball as this is exactly what happens when one or both of us do. I'd quite like to see the Elvis clock though, would certainly make for a statement piece in the living room!!

Gravity, thank you for your support. We live in the cheapest (decent) flat we could find. We could do with moving to somewhere bigger as we're currently on a sofabed in the living room but that will need to wait until our financial situation improves and/or rents start stabilising. We're lucky in that our landlords are good on repairs. We've had a new roof (there were pigeons roosting in the loft before and numerous leaks) and now hopefully the knackered windows will be replaced this year with UPVC. Means our energy costs should go down and we'll be a little warmer next winter. Fortunately I've been on these boards for long enough not to be upset by the negative benefits posts!

Susan_Frost

If you have two laptops - then - no mending a laptop is not more important than treating your daughter, but I like the idea of a girly night in with her than going out if it that is more expensive.
It really is NOT important to mend it this month so just say no.

Judith_W

Assuming you will be better off next month as you have twice the childcare vouchers in your account to use? Well done you for juggling everything. As well as leaving the cards alone, I think your hubby should be given £60 cash at the beginning of each week (Friday?), also, is it any cheaper to get a monthly bus ticket?

Tiddlywinks

£60 each spending money per week is crazy given that you are so tight on money. That's £480 per month (or over £6,000 over the 52 week year).

Continuing as you are will mean that you will be living this difficult life for years to come... that's the reality, sorry. That money could be paying off debts or getting you a nicer flat.

You've said you have tried in the past to stick to a budget but gave up as it was too difficult - well, try harder.

Change or don't change that's your choice but don't keep blaming your OH - you're part of it yourself.

JoJoB

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

£60 each spending money per week is crazy given that you are so tight on money. That's £480 per month (or over £6,000 over the 52 week year).

Continuing as you are will mean that you will be living this difficult life for years to come... that's the reality, sorry. That money could be paying off debts or getting you a nicer flat.

You've said you have tried in the past to stick to a budget but gave up as it was too difficult - well, try harder.

Change or don't change that's your choice but don't keep blaming your OH - you're part of it yourself.

The OP has already said that the £60 per week is to cover public transport costs to work (very expensive in London), packed lunches or occasional bought lunches, haircuts/clothes and other incidentals like birthdays and christmas. Children do bring additional expense, schools are always asking for money for this and that. It's not really "spending" money is it? A large portion looks like necessities with maybe the odd treat thrown in (because that makes life a bit brighter sometimes).

Sorry, but I don't think she is spending an unreasonable amount. I think it is unreasonable of her OH to take money out of an account with blatant disregard for any bills that might be due out of it and apparently with no regard for the worry this will cause his wife. All so he can drink beer.