Those who are waiting to TTC

bride2be2012

Hi Optimistic Mummy

I know how you feel about paying debts of etc, we were the same (but have a lot more debt than you, looking at your signature), but at the moment we are paying it off ok and have a good lifestyle. So I feel there's not a lot of point in waiting any longer, in case we encounter any problems when TTC. I only have one ovary for a start, and my folks had huge problems ttc both me and my sister (went for all the usual tests etc, came back clear, but still took them 6 years each time). So I'm well aware it may take us some time, and now have finally got this message through to my DH!

And I had a talk with my DH last night about why things have kinda moved backwards. As I thought, nothing major causing him to change his mind - DH doesn't do change well, and as we are moving house in 3 weeks, he thinks we should wait until we are settled in the new house and see how finances are doing then. The thought of NTNP at the same time as moving was freaking him out...should've known as last time we moved it was about 6 months before our wedding, and he started panicking about the wedding and all the suppliers/venue we were dealing with having our old address..lol, men!

So I'm planning on living of what I'd expect to get in maternity pay (just the legal min) from next pay day until the start of the year, not telling DH what I'm up to, and then when we take another look at things, hopefully I'll already have the finances sorted. Shouldn't be to difficult, as I'm still just part time at the moment and so SMP isn't actually that much less than what I'm earning at the moment (I can't decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing lol!).

browneyedbazzi

Bride2be - your plan sounds like a good one. I think with such a major life changing decision people are bound to have wobbles but it's good that you talk to each other about it and that there are things you can do to reassure him and hopefully help him over the wobbliness!

I'm still in limbo at the moment...in my old job and waiting for everything to be sorted out so I can get a start date for the new one. One of the worst bits of working in the public sector is all the faff and time involved in making a change! It feels like I've been waiting around in limbo for ages and then I'll get the final details and everything will have to happen really quickly. Suffice it to say that with needing to find somewhere new to live (and all the hassle of packing/moving), saying goodbye to my current job, settling in to the new one and Christmas on the horizon, I don't really have time or mental energy to feel broody at the moment. I am going to see a friend and her baby this afternoon though so I think the broodiness will probably creep back in!

Hope everyone is having a good weekend x

bride2be2012

I hate being stuck in limbo too, always drives me mad when I can't make plans or sort anything out! Trying to work on it though, as I also get very grumpy when things don't go according to plan! Not gonna do well having kids thinking like that lol!

I wish I had something to take my mind of being broody lol. I must have it bad just now. My job is based at my boss' home, and it's Scottish half term just now so her two boys (3 and 5) have been around the past 2 weeks..and even when they are running riot and having hysterics coz they are over tired/hungry, I still feel broody! My boss keeps saying things like seeing her boys acting up must put me of having kids for life, but no, makes me want them even more, ha ha!

clearing_out_my_pockets

If it makes you feel any better, actually TTC doesn't actually stop you being in limbo. I was offered a job a little while ago which I turned down because I didn't want to lose out on the enhanced maternity package my company offers. I feel like I can't move anywhere 'just in case'. I'd hate to be the new girl who starts a job and goes on maternity less than a year later.

sammy_wheeler

aww my friend has just had her baby girl (by emergency c section)- she is ok-- so happy

optimistic-mummy

sammy_wheeler wrote: »

aww my friend has just had her baby girl (by emergency c section)- she is ok-- so happy

congrats to your friend!!! x

amus

clearing_out_my_pockets wrote: »

If it makes you feel any better, actually TTC doesn't actually stop you being in limbo. I was offered a job a little while ago which I turned down because I didn't want to lose out on the enhanced maternity package my company offers. I feel like I can't move anywhere 'just in case'. I'd hate to be the new girl who starts a job and goes on maternity less than a year later.

I've been that girl with my last pg and will possibly be that girl in my next job . The way i see it is it wouldn't affect the vast majority of men if their girlfriend got pregnant when they had just got a new job so why should it be taboo for women to do the same, just because they are the ones having to carry and give birth to the baby.

I think i would feel bad if it was a small business but big companies no. I think as long as you are planning to return afterwards it's acceptable.

lilmissmup

Hello ladies..room for a little one?

I am looking to TTC early next year, I am 28, OH is 36 with 2 children aged 9 and 7. We have been together 2.5yrs.

We could start sooner but I am doing a college course until June next year and would rather not be heavily pregnant whilst doing it and we are looking to sell our house too as well.

Been getting really broody last month or so, not felt like this in 3 years since me and ex split up. I am 3 days late this month, taken 2 pregnancy tests but negative so guess she is just playing me up!

Not on pill as getting my body ready, just trying to avoid ovulation time!!!

browneyedbazzi

Welcome lilmissmup! There's plenty of room here for you! The thread has been quite quiet lately so we could use a bit more chatter. I'm starting to wonder what's happened to some of our regulars because it has been ages since euro posted and ellie has been quiet too (although I presume that's because she's busy with her assignment or the big move).

As for the discussion about being the woman who starts a new job then goes off on maternity leave in the first year...I have to admit that I'm hoping to be one of those women! I know it doesn't look great to the employer or colleagues, but at my age I don't think putting things off for the sake of appearances is wise. I also think that taking maternity leave shouldn't be the end of the world career-wise - employers (and colleagues) should see things a bit more in the long term. I'm lucky that I work in the public sector with quite a long period of continuous service and a good track record so I don't think taking 6-9 months off will have a negative effect.

optimistic-mummy

morning everyone. welcome lilmissmup x
hope everyone is well. im struggling to sleep lately. and im feeling it today. still working hard at paying off ours debt so we can start TTC ... will proberly be around march next year maybe sooner if we're lucky x