Those who are waiting to TTC

bride2be2012

unfortunately, I'm spending my Sunday at work...yet another reason I want to leave for another job! in 12-6 today, yuck! On the plus side, we're not officially open today, so I can ignore the phone and we shouldn't have any customers coming in to bother me!

I've been doing some reading on ovulation too, I think I'm finally getting my head around some of it lol!

optimistic-mummy

Thanks elle and amus... i've had it since birth so don't know the difference TBH. IYKWM. if i struggle to do something i adapt.... or occasionally if i really can't do it i ask OH.. i always wondered what it'd like not to be in pain but unless im having a 'bad day' i just get on with it i don't know any different... thankfully pain relief has been invented. so generally im OK. And luckily LO hasn't noticed that im any different from his friends mums at pre-school but im dreading when the questions are asked ... just hope it doesn't effect him to much. (hope he doesn't wish that he had a 'normal' mummy) IYSWIM

trinity_enigma

optimistic-mummy wrote: »

Thanks elle and amus... i've had it since birth so don't know the difference TBH. IYKWM. if i struggle to do something i adapt.... or occasionally if i really can't do it i ask OH.. i always wondered what it'd like not to be in pain but unless im having a 'bad day' i just get on with it i don't know any different... thankfully pain relief has been invented. so generally im OK. And luckily LO hasn't noticed that im any different from his friends mums at pre-school but im dreading when the questions are asked ... just hope it doesn't effect him to much. (hope he doesn't wish that he had a 'normal' mummy) IYSWIM

If it makes you feel better my mum was I'll with ms (obviously different illness to you but for an example) and I never really noticed much difference to other parents. Yes she was in a wheelchair but she still told me off like other parents do lol and she couldn't work but that just meant she was always home. The only thing I felt I missed out on was girly shopping trips people had with their mums but my mum was always a tomboy by all accounts so I don't think I would have had them even if she could walk. A mum is always your mum and children don't notice any difference because they don't actually know any different.

optimistic-mummy

amus wrote: »

Dont worry about it Ive never bothered with any of that stuff theres lots of Mums that dont do it. Ive tried going out with lunch a couple of times with my friend and her toddler, its generally unenjoyable and hard work! Just stick to the playgroups, parks etc. sometimes you have a chat to another Mum but a lot of times everyones just too busy running around after their own kids!!

trinity_enigma wrote: »

If it makes you feel better my mum was I'll with ms (obviously different illness to you but for an example) and I never really noticed much difference to other parents. Yes she was in a wheelchair but she still told me off like other parents do lol and she couldn't work but that just meant she was always home. The only thing I felt I missed out on was girly shopping trips people had with their mums but my mum was always a tomboy by all accounts so I don't think I would have had them even if she could walk. A mum is always your mum and children don't notice any difference because they don't actually know any different.

thank-you that has made me feel a lot better. he did ask once a few weeks back why i had funny legs and X's mum doesn't and was laughing bless him (i was walking along side the other mum) i just said because god made me special just like you with your scar, (he had an operation on his head when he was 6 months old) and he wanted to give you a special mummy. i didn't know what to say he hasn't said anything since, but hope i said the right thing x

browneyedbazzi

Morning all, I hope the week is getting off to a good start for everyone. I'm quite sleepy today because I had a really busy weekend but hopefully I'll wake up properly soon!

Thank you all for the good wishes about the interview!

Ellie - I think I might be similar to you when it comes to fitting in with other mums! I really hate the idea of doing things to 'fit in' and all the one-upmanship that goes on trying to impress people. I've seen friend who aren't very well off spending more than they can afford on kids' parties or gifts for classmates etc because they were concerned about how things looked and I just don't understand doing that sort of thing. I can't imagine caring about the opinions of people so shallow that they judge you on what's in a party bag or if you wear designer clothes and full make-up to the school gates!

optimistic-mummy: children don't judge things in the same way that adults do and they're so much more accepting of differences so I doubt your son will have any bad feelings or bad thoughts about your disability. Kids ask questions because they are curious and have the whole world to work out, it's pretty rare for there to be any ill feeling or negativity behind these things!

euronorris

amus wrote: »

Oh dont get me started.

You do feel pressurised to do all this party stuff and with some mums its definitely a game of one upmanship .

Some Mums even used to bring party bags into nursery if it was their childs birthday that week! Its very nice of them to do but then it does make you feel bad that you havnt done it! Having kids and working and aranging birthdays is hard enough IMO without having to consider doing 'extras'.

What gets me is the nursery 'concerts' at christmas. I go because it would look bad if you didnt but I look at the kids dressed up as shepards staring into space and picking their nose, who havnt got a clue whats going on and think 'Am I the only one who finds this totally pointless and ridiculous?'. Fair enough when theyre a bit older and can learn a few lines and sing along to songs but in nursery Im pretty sure they would rather just be playing!

I spent most of my first nativity play with my skirt pulled up over my head to hide my face......it hadn't occurred to me that I was then showing my knickers to the entire audience! :rotfl:

So yeah, I gotta agree with you there. A few years later, and I was really into it, singing the songs etc, and by the last year of primary school, I had enough confidence to be the narrator, standing up there in front of everyone and telling the story. But that first year (and I imagine it would be even more silly in nursery) was pointless.

Cinny91

Optimistic-Mummy, your LO is lucky to have a Mum like you I'm sure one day he'll feel just as blessed to have you as his Mum as you feel blessed you managed to have him.

That's one thing I'm dreading about being a Mother, the possibility of busy-body Mums in the playground! But I figure if you're nice enough, and your kid is nice enough. That has to count for something?

"Party Bags" have been around for ages though, since I was little at least. Unless it has a different meaning now! I know my youngest cousin (she's 7) went to a birthday party for her friend where she got picked up in a limo and taken to a concert. I just thought, can I come?! But they're from a "rich" area. Kids parties around here are more what I'm used to, lots of kids running around the garden, playing silly games, hyped up on sugar.

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. Been so busy with my second job! Officially taking folic acid now, and OH has some good leads on potential clients to secure his job so just waiting to hear now. Then we're all ready to go!

euronorris

Yeah, we did always have party bags, but it would be full of cheap tat. Stuff that I LOVED as a kid! lol Pencils, rubbers, little plastic toy and a slice of the Birthday cake.

I wouldn't have everyone over though. That seems to be a fairly new thing, as far as I can tell. It was widely accepted, when I was a kid, that you could only fit so many kids into one house/afford so many kids to come. So if a few kids weren't invited, well, that's life. One year you wouldn't get invited, and the next you would (as the groups of friends are so interchangeable at that age).

There does seem to be a lot of playground stuff between some Mums, but I think you just have to ignore it and brush it off, otherwise you get caught up in it too. ie, My SIL makes a big deal of it, but from what I can see, she also does it herself. Whereas my sister just doesn't seem to pay any attention to any of it. I'm sure it still happens, but she doesn't seem to notice (or care). It'll be interesting to see how my other sister gets on in a few years time, as she is a much more sensitive soul, and I can see that it has more potential to hurt her.

trinity_enigma

When I was a kid you invited everyone but that probably ga something to do with going to a tiny village primary school there were only about 30 kids in the whole school and about 8 in my year group I think lol!

We also had party bag then but it was just a bag with some silly plastic toy, a little bag of sweets, a balloon and a piece of cake. It was the best thing ever!

Ellie83

Awww, my cousin is now the proud dad of an adorable and healthy baby boy.

But... Please, don't judge me too harshly... I can't help but feel slightly envious and resent the fact that I let myself go to the point of being 2 and a half stone overweight. If I had not been overweight, we could start now Can you tell I'm ovulating and that my hormones are messing up with my head? :rotfl: Ask me after my broody period and I'll tell you I would rather take my time :rotfl: