Those who are waiting to TTC

euronorris

Welcome Skintchick! And sorry to hear about your losses. I hadn't realised, I haven't kept up with the TTC thread lately. Big ((HUGS)) for you though.

Choc Chick - Don't apologise. We all have down days. One of the reasons for this thread is to be able to express how you're feeling about it all.

Rather than focussing on the reasons why you can't, maybe it's good to start focussing on the reasons why you can: Have a steady job, income, partner etc.

It might also be time to start being a bit firmer about the amount of overtime you're putting in. Easier said than done, I know, but an old manager of mine found that having plans for the evenings made it easier for her to say 'No, sorry, I can't. I already have plans. I will do it tomorrow.'. If you wait for your employer, you could be waiting indefinitely. So many of them are reluctant to change anything unless forced to, so you might have to take a bit control here.

x

chocoholic_chick

I'm getting better at saying no, but at the end of the day I need this job, I now earn significantly more than my OH ( due to a recent wage increase after finishing my exams ) so feel like it's expected of me to put in the extra hours because of the wage increase if that makes sense? Still hoping we're going to be able to start TTC after Christmas though, other things in our lives seem to be falling in to place which is helping, and like you said we're very fortunate in that we have stable jobs, our own home and car, we're financially stable etc

I just worry that we're now falling into the trap of waiting for the none existent "perfect time"

euronorris

I understand where you're coming from, but try thinking of it like this: The wage increase was for your increased knowledge & qualifications. Your value had increased and so they had to reward that appropriately. It doesn't equate to extra hours. It's tough though, I know.

Maybe you are falling into that trap. What's the worst that could happen if you feel pregnant today?

chocoholic_chick

Oh I know, I'm just too soft and find it hard to say no sometimes, but it's something I'm working on

Hmm well I suppose the only problem we would face is we've taken out a couple of loans, just short term ( Interest free one from parents over 10 months, 8 months left to go and loan from sainsburys over 2 years with 22 payments left to go ) but we'd still be repaying when my occupational maternity pay would end and I'd be on SMP and we'd probably struggle a little financially, so the plan is to start to TTC so that when I'm on maternity leave these two loans are paid off.

euronorris

Ahh, well the financial reasons are good ones, so I think the date you've set is good. What you could do, to bring it forward, is try to cutback so you can overpay. Is that an option?

Otherwise, think of it this way: It's August. It's only 4 months until Christmas, which is no time at all really It'll fly by and you'll be babymaking before you know it! XD

chocoholic_chick

Well the plan is once the loan to my parents is paid off we'll put that money into savings ( £300 per month )to eventually pay the loan off a little earlier. I don't think they allow you to make monthly overpayments, but I'll double check when we're in a position to be overpaying incase we can.

My parents keep telling me there's no hurry to pay their loan back, but I want it paid off ASAP so it's out of the way for when we have babies , we just haven't told anyone our plans so I can't say to them well the reason I want to pay it back quickly is because we're hoping to TTC next year lol

dizsiebubba

choco - If you feel ready just go for it... we were waiting for the right time but my nan was dying (and has since died) and she was only 65 so it just made us realise how short life actually can be so to get on with it.

Once you are PG, you are protected by law at work and they will have to lay off the pressure a bit. If you feel tired and run down you phone in sick and tell them its because you are tired and run down...they can't say a thing when you are PG.

browneyedbazzi

Glad to see you back chocoholic chick and welcome to skintchick and memoryoftrees.

This thread either stands still or races away and today looks like it's been a race day!

memoryoftrees - I'll be 33 soon, my partner is 31. I don't really know when we'll TTC because we're both in odd places career wise (me because I left a job I loved and am now not happy at all in my new job and would like to find something else but I worry about losing out on the additional maternity benefits I'll get if I stay and him because he's recently started a really good job and is quite focused on that at the moment). I think he'd also really like us to be in a family home before starting but I'm less bothered about that because a lot of people have coped in much worse circumstances than we are in. Being female and approaching 35 quicker than I'd like means I'm a lot more conscious of time and I suppose I'm at the point where I can accept there is no 'perfect' time and compromises aren't the worst thing in the world.

chocoholic chick - I hope that work pressure eases up for you, but I agree with what euronorris said about needing to take control of things a bit. Managers are terrible for letting pressure build up on people until they are forced to do something about it. You can even think of learning to say no and stick to your guns as practice for parenthood lol

clearing_out_my_pockets

Hi all.

I've updated the OP with the newcomers although I must say it felt wrong adding skintchick to the list. Hopefully you can come back over to the other thread soon x

memoryoftrees

I have worked out I'll need around £8000 in savings to get me through the SMP/non paid part of leave. I already have £2000 in savings :j so if I can save £3000 next year and then £3000 the year after (when hopefully I will be pregnant! ) I'll be there!

The longer is takes me to get pregnant the longer I'll have to save - but I hope it doesn't take too long. I really, really hope I have a baby before 2014 is over.