Those who are waiting to TTC

claire16c

sharrison778 wrote: »

claire16c - were your cycles always long or just since coming off the pill?

Pretty much always I think.

walby1993 wrote: »

Hi Ladies,

Sorry it has been a while since I have replied - went to the doctors on Monday and ended up being sent to hospital in an ambulance and then admitted! I am fine now, it was a severe chest infection. Although at the time I thought it was all a big fuss over nothing and I just needed a couple of antibiotics - I don't "do" being ill!

Claire, I read all that "information" about egg quality etc, but after my mc I have come to the conclusion you could drive yourself potty looking for answers in the TTC/pg/mc realm. I would just wait and see how it goes and only if it takes a while i.e. one year plus then start worrying.

Sharrison, now I feel a bit silly for asking as it now seems obvious what VR stands for lol. I guess in your situation its more a case of considering medically when you should ttc.

TooDee, I would tend to agree with you that the compromising needs to start fairly quickly for you. Could you try to make your OH feel a little better by saying that even if you fell pg straight away (which is unlikely) it would be nine months till he actually became a daddy, then if you factor in a six month wttc and six months of ttc, then its almost two years till baby would be here - might make him feel a little better?

Hey Euro :wave: Sorry the job situation is no clearer for you. I will keep my fingers crossed everything gets sorted soon.

With regards to those who said about managing financially. The problem with finances and having a family is not the day-to-day cost as we could manage that but its the fact that we live in a one bed flat, don't have even half the deposit for a house (and nothing for the fees) and wouldn't be able to afford a mortgage on a bigger place while we are still paying the loans. So its kind of a pre-requisite to ttc that we get out of debt. I said to DH I don't mind having a baby at the flat as long as I know that we could move out before babys 1st birthday (baby would be in our room for 6-12 months anyway) but I think DH has done a lot of thinking as he has said he is prepared to wait and save up for the van and he wants to be in a house before a baby comes along (although he doesn't mind if we are ttc, or I am pg, when we are moving). I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders as I felt like I was the baddie making us wait. Now my only problem is that feels such a long way off - I am reckoning about four years, so we would be almost/just 30. I know it will be worth it in the end though. I think that it might make life a little easier if I make sure there is fullfillment instead of just thinking about the end goal of having a family.

Sorry for all this waffle lol, I just type what I am thinking!

If you have a lot of debt then yeah maybe it would be best to delay it a little. You could always try to really focus on paying it off (if you arent already of course!) so that maybe the 4 years turn into 3 or whatever. And would it be likely that your wages would increase over that time due to any promotions or anything depending what line of work you are in?

We are kind of in an opposite situation in that we are able to save for a mortgage - but like you wont have the money for the deposit for a few years as we live in the SE and would need to win the lottery to make it any sooner than that , but we actually want to have a baby whilst we are in rented, because the rent here on our house is cheaper than if we had a mortgage. So we could afford to live here and me be on maternity pay, whereas if we had a whacking great mortgage wed both have to be working 24/7! We are lucky in that we have 2 bedrooms though.


findingmyownway - If you take your temperature with a thermometer that shows to 2 decimals points, and note it on a chart - or to make it a LOT easier, use the fertility friend website, and just input the temps on there, it works out when you ovulate. you have to take it at the same time every morning, as soon as you wake up.

walby1993

Hi Claire,

Well, we have been trying to focus all our spare money on our debts but I have decided I want to take it down a notch (throwing "only" £400 out of the £500 we have as disposable income a month) as being so regimented was making us miserable and I want to be able to enjoy life a little on the way. The four year figure is probably reasonable but I can't remember if I included all, some or any of my annual pay increases (I am a teacher and my progress up the pay scale each September subject to satisfactory professional development and performance reviews) and I know I didn't factor any increases in for DH as it is so hard to guess with his work (he is in a temporary job at the moment, who knows how long that will last but reasonably he could expect to increase his net monthly salary by £350 per month over the next few years).

We live in the SE also about 20 minutes drive from the M25 and North London. It isn't cheap where we are looking to move to but its still a lot cheaper than where I am from (North London). We figure there is no point buying a two-bed as we would want a three bed fairly quickly afterwards, it would be a waste of money on the fees. So for a small three bed we would be looking at around £235k to £250k. :eek: Scary but we will get there.

Yes, if your rent is cheaper then definately stay put until you have a nice deposit and don't have to worry about surviving off mat pay - maybe even wait till you have had your second if you plan on having them in fairly quick succession?

Findingmyownway, charting is fairly easy if you use something like fertility friend. In terms of actually taking your temp, I used to do mine orally (although others use other places) and it has to be at the same time every day after a minimum of four hours solid sleep.

claire16c

Yeah my friend is a teacher and she seems to get a reasonable rise each year, so atleast you know youve got that. So it can only get better in that respect.

I totally agree - you cant keep living for the future all the time! I mean Im all for savings - and like you we want to buy a 3 bed for the same reasons, (and same price unfortunately! ) , so need a large deposit, but at the same time, a house is just a house, and I want to have some fun too! We live about 25 mins from the M25 too - but from the west direction.

We could wait until having a 2nd I guess, but we do use our spare room a lot for having my hubbys family from up north coming down to stay and its a very useful room to store carp/washing in lol. So it would have to be pretty quick!

an9i77

hi ladies please may i join you? Well, i got my coil removed a month ago and was all set to TTC but sadly I've been advised to wait six months for medical reasons. Really frustrating as I just wanted to get on with getting pregnant! But as it may have an adverse affect on my health atm I just need to wait until a medical condition is treated, which shouldn't take any more than six months. So sadly had the coil put back in yesterday, but this time a copper not a mirena so hopefully will be all set to go again once I get the green light from the docs. Anyway hi to all. I have a one year old son by the way, but it only took one year for all my broody feelings to come back and now we just want one more to complete the family!

euronorris

Hello and welcome Ani!

Sorry that you've had to postpone TTC, but it is best to get health situations sorted first.

I have a copper coil also. I switched from using the pill, to something non hormonal as I was getting lots of nasty migraines. It hasn't taken long for my cycles to settle into a routine, and as I understand it, when we are ready the doc will just remove it and we can get started.

Claire and Walby - I think you must both live in areas close to my hometown! I grew up in a town that was only about 20 - 25 minutes from M25, in the South East. Luurrvveellyyy and close to Bluewater!

Walby - clearing the debt is def a good idea, but I agree in relaxing the reins a little bit. I was a bit too gung ho with my debt busting at first, and it started to drive me crazy!!!

The only thing I would suggest, is doing a check of your budget, and seeing if there are any areas you can save on. Are any insurances up for renewal? Can you get them cheaper elsewhere? What about switching utility providers, or phones? How's the grocery budget? Do you have stuff you can Ebay etc? You may find that with a little adjusting, you can find the extra 100 quid needed for entertainment each month, AND maintain the 500 quid pm repayments. Worth a look.

I didn't win the lottery yesterday. Alas, I shall have to continue working. B'gger! lol

euronorris

Hi Ladies!

I hope you are all well!

I appreciate that this thread can get quiet sometimes, so new joiners don't always get the responses they deserve (particularly when we're all busy with our lives), but I just wanted to let you know that we are here, you are welcome and we do want you to participate and help you where we can. I'm very sorry to anyone who may have posted and not received much response.

Toothfairy - A stone and a half isn't too bad, and you should be able to acheive it fairly quickly

I wish we had a dog. I love going for long walks, and OH doesn't, so a dog would be perfect! But......we don't have the space or the time where we currently are. So dogs will probably come after we've moved and had a baby.

I'm sorry, I am going backwards in the posting history to try and ensure that no one is overlooked, but it will take me a while.

BIG HUGS all around!

xx

clearing_out_my_pockets

euronorris wrote: »

I wish we had a dog. I love going for long walks, and OH doesn't, so a dog would be perfect! But......we don't have the space or the time where we currently are. So dogs will probably come after we've moved and had a baby.xx

DH would love a cat, and I'd prefer a dog, so we've 'settled' on a baby instead :rotfl:

Seriously though, I've just tried the ultimate 'tempting fate' thingamajig. I've just agreed to train for the London to Brighton bike ride next year with my brother & sister. Shelled out for a new bike etc, hoping I won't be able to ride it.

Toothfairy - I also decided to lose weight before TTC. The weight wasn't the reason for delaying, but the delay gave me the perfect opportunity to lose it. I've now lost 2st 2.5lb and I'd probably like to lose another half a stone.

euronorris

Haha! OH also wants a dog, and every now and then he says (with a smirk on his face) 'we'll get a dog first and see how that goes.'. I just give him 'that' look, he starts laughing and assures me babies first! lol

Ooohh I like the tempting fate idea!

Is it bad that part of me secretly hopes the coil will fail, I'll be pregnant and we'll just have to cope (what with everything else that's going on)? I can't help it.

clearing_out_my_pockets

euronorris wrote: »

Is it bad that part of me secretly hopes the coil will fail, I'll be pregnant and we'll just have to cope (what with everything else that's going on)? I can't help it.

I think that's perfectly natural. Just remember that failure of the coil does have its risks too though. But yes, you would cope if something did go wrong.

Lurkers and newbies - I know euro isn't the type to accidentally-on-purpose have a contraception failure. I am not encouraging this in any way

euronorris

clearing_out_my_pockets wrote: »

I think that's perfectly natural. Just remember that failure of the coil does have its risks too though. But yes, you would cope if something did go wrong.

I know it does, which is why I hope (at the same time), it doesn't happen. I wouldn't want an ectopic and risk losing a tube, or worse, my life.

But I want to be a Mum so badly. Keeping my fingers firmly crossed that OH's job situation gets sorted asap!