Those who are waiting to TTC

TooDee

Hello! Ah ladies! This seems like just the place for me. I've been wtt for the past year or more but my BF is quite a bit younger than me so i've been patient with him.
But now we're looking at buying a house and we've been so lucky with gifts from family and inheritance that we wont have to take to much of a mortgage so i'm starting to think that soon might be the right time to TTC.
The only problem we have is I was made redundant. I've found enough temporary work to keep me going for now but that wont give me maternity leave or something concrete to come back to. To be honest i'd rather not work for quite a while after having a baby anyway maybe till when they start school so i'm hoping we can afford to live off BF's wage for a bit.
Anyone else have much of an age gap (or reluctant BF) we've talked alot about compromise but i'm 32 in a couple of months (hes 22) I think its time for him to compromise now.

TooDee

Sorry I guess there might be some men here to but i'm assuming your mostly ladies.

euronorris

Hello all!

Bit busy right now, but I haven't forgotten you! Will post more soon, when I've had a chance to properly catch up!

Nothing doing for us. Our job situ's are still very up in the air. Quite honestly, I'd rather just pack it all in and head back to the UK right now. With both of us being treated so poorly, it's hard not to feel like it's because we're foreign. It's not a very welcoming atmosphere either way.

sharrison778

TooDee wrote: »

Anyone else have much of an age gap (or reluctant BF) we've talked alot about compromise but i'm 32 in a couple of months (hes 22) I think its time for him to compromise now.

Its the other way around for me - my boyfriend is 13 years older than me. So for us its more about how old he will be when he and I have children and hence it will hopefully be sooner rather than later.

walby1993

Hi Ladies,

Sorry it has been a while since I have replied - went to the doctors on Monday and ended up being sent to hospital in an ambulance and then admitted! I am fine now, it was a severe chest infection. Although at the time I thought it was all a big fuss over nothing and I just needed a couple of antibiotics - I don't "do" being ill!

Claire, I read all that "information" about egg quality etc, but after my mc I have come to the conclusion you could drive yourself potty looking for answers in the TTC/pg/mc realm. I would just wait and see how it goes and only if it takes a while i.e. one year plus then start worrying.

Sharrison, now I feel a bit silly for asking as it now seems obvious what VR stands for lol. I guess in your situation its more a case of considering medically when you should ttc.

TooDee, I would tend to agree with you that the compromising needs to start fairly quickly for you. Could you try to make your OH feel a little better by saying that even if you fell pg straight away (which is unlikely) it would be nine months till he actually became a daddy, then if you factor in a six month wttc and six months of ttc, then its almost two years till baby would be here - might make him feel a little better?

Hey Euro :wave: Sorry the job situation is no clearer for you. I will keep my fingers crossed everything gets sorted soon.

With regards to those who said about managing financially. The problem with finances and having a family is not the day-to-day cost as we could manage that but its the fact that we live in a one bed flat, don't have even half the deposit for a house (and nothing for the fees) and wouldn't be able to afford a mortgage on a bigger place while we are still paying the loans. So its kind of a pre-requisite to ttc that we get out of debt. I said to DH I don't mind having a baby at the flat as long as I know that we could move out before babys 1st birthday (baby would be in our room for 6-12 months anyway) but I think DH has done a lot of thinking as he has said he is prepared to wait and save up for the van and he wants to be in a house before a baby comes along (although he doesn't mind if we are ttc, or I am pg, when we are moving). I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders as I felt like I was the baddie making us wait. Now my only problem is that feels such a long way off - I am reckoning about four years, so we would be almost/just 30. I know it will be worth it in the end though. I think that it might make life a little easier if I make sure there is fullfillment instead of just thinking about the end goal of having a family.

Sorry for all this waffle lol, I just type what I am thinking!

walby1993

Also, is anyone maintaining the front page now COMP has graduated to the ttc thread?

Toothfairy4

Hi everyone!

DH and I have been married for 6 months and were originally planning on waiting 3ish years before TTC. We are moving in June to the other end of the country and will be renting at first but hoping to start looking for houses to buy quite soon.

After lots of consideration we have decided that after Christmas we are going to seriously consider starting to TTC. I am scared and excited, but mainly excited!! Hoping to devote lots of time between now and then to trying to get as fit as possible in preparation, currently overweight so need to get into shape!

TooDee

walby1993 wrote: »

TooDee, I would tend to agree with you that the compromising needs to start fairly quickly for you. Could you try to make your OH feel a little better by saying that even if you fell pg straight away (which is unlikely) it would be nine months till he actually became a daddy, then if you factor in a six month wttc and six months of ttc, then its almost two years till baby would be here - might make him feel a little better?

That is a very good point. I know it could take years TC or it could be happen in the first month. I think my BF thinks i'll be super fertile like the rest of the females in my family seem to be but i'm worried that seeing as my sister and cousins have had no trouble it will be me that does. Especially as i'm older than they were when they conceived.

I feel for you with the house/flat issue. Where we are living now is super tiny and could no way fit a baby. There are some good articles on Offbeat Mama and Offbeat Home of people living in small spaces with kids. really inspiring.

Toothfairy! Happy for you! Christmas will be here before you know it.

clearing_out_my_pockets

walby1993 wrote: »

Also, is anyone maintaining the front page now COMP has graduated to the ttc thread?

COMP still is (although sometimes a little slowly - let me know if I've missed anyone)

I don't quite feel like I belong on the other thread yet

ETA - sorry! It would seem I missed a few people off the front page. Forgive me?

euronorris

Hi All!

Hi COMP! Don't worry about the updates not being super quick, it's great that you're still doing them for us! THANK YOU!!

Me - I spent most of the weekend in the kitchen, cooking and baking, and cleaning (and still, I have a LOT of pots and pans etc to clean! Deep joy!).

My job - still unsettled. Will be for a while yet. Plus side - OH's job is starting to look better. They finally gave an offer that matched his current salary, benefits etc (WAHOOOO!!!). But, he still has some things to negotiate with them. Mainly, he wants to maintain current contract, until April 2013, and then switch over. But he wants something in writing from them to say that they will honour this, and he will def have contract in place from April next year. IF they agree, then we can start looking at mortgages and houses. We'll see how this week goes.

Sorry for being AWOL, it's just that I don't have much to add, and when I do, it isn't particularly positive. I don't want to bring the thread down.

I hope you are all well, and welcome to the newbies! I hope you all had a fabulous Easter weekend!