Those who are waiting to TTC

moneypuddle

Good luck to you findingmyownway!

andthethreebears

thanks findingmyownway - good luck to your hubby for tomorrow!

claire16c

Feel like Im going mad waiting to ttc again. And hearing 2 friends in the space of an hour today tell me they are pg just made it worse! And in some ways Im not even looking forward to it because we tried for 6 months last year and nothing happened. So I also feel a bit depressed about the whole thing. In some ways its easier not ttcing, than ttcing! Which is pretty ridiculous but is how I feel at the moment.

sharrison778

I feel like I am surrounded by pregnant ladies too!

A question for the group - when you're deciding when to start ttc, how long do you anticipate it will take?

I know its impossible to actually know, it could be a month or a year, but do you have a ballpark figure you work off?

I'm trying to work it out by working backwards. I'm 29 at the moment and I'd ideally like to have my first child at 31 or 32.

Women in my family seem to fall pregnant easily but there are some complications on my partner's side. So I'm thinking we should really start ttc next year, when I'm 30, in case it takes us awhile. And if it happens quickly, i guess we just deal with it!!

How do others work it out?


(I should add my partner will be having a VR at some point so I need to factor that and his recovery time into planning as well)

bigzippy

I think the normal/average is considered to be a year, sharrison. Getting the VR done sooner rather than later, with time for things to settle etc for him, is a bigger time factor atm for you, I would think? I've get those done asap and then see how you go. Have you seen a doctor to ask what they think his success of VR would be?

Good luck for your husband's op today, finding my own way

sharrison778

Yep I totally agree that VR is the priority.

Our current thinking is for him to get it done at the end of this year. He starts a new job soon so taking time off for recovery isnt really a good option right now. And generally we'd have to book 3 months in advance anyway. If its done in December, recovery can coincide with time off over Christmas. Its a bit rough for him but it's his decision ultimately.

Odds of success are average, I suppose. As I understand it, the more time that has passed since the original op, the more the odds reduce. His was done about 7 years ago.

We did discuss just going straight to IVF but as I have no fertility issues and his odds are reasonable, we deicded to try naturally first.

claire16c

I think in my head I figured that if up to a year was ' normal' I figured then it would most likely be quicker than that, and Id get pg after a few months. Then when we got to 6 months I felt like wed reached this bad milestone.

I wouldnt be so worried but my cycles are so long Im paranoid something is wrong. I should prob go to the docs but I keep putting it off for one reason or another. And I feel like right now theyd just fob me off because I havent been off the pill for a year yet.

But by June I will be, and then we want to start ttc again. In some ways though I feel like just starting again now and throwing caution to the wind in terms of my new job and chances are it wouldnt happen right away anyway. Then 5 minutes later I change my mind and tell myself thats silly I just need to wait a couple more months - not to mention the fact weve got a long haul holiday booked for Oct. But every day that goes on and I havent ov yet, I feel more and more annoyed about my cycles and think its never going to happen anyway regardless of when we start!

walby1993

Morning all!

Threebears, I would not panic about not having had a scare. I have never had a scare in the seven years I was definately not ttc but fell pregnant the 2nd month when we was trying. I know how you feel about other people though - I was very resentful for a long time about that sort of thing. Strangly, my mc was very theraputic as since then I have no urgent need to start ttc asap. I think it was because when I knew I was pg I was happy but still very panicky about our financial situation. So now I feel more content to wait until we are in a better financial situation.

Findingmyownway, good luck for your DH's op.

Claire, the fact your cycles are long doesn't necessairly mean you will have problems ttc. My cycles are seven weeks long and I fell pregnant our second month of trying. Are you still ov'ing but just its late in the cycle?

Sharrison, sorry to be really stupid but what is a VR? And in answer to how I have worked out a ttc date - it is when we are debt free.

And on that note, at the moment everything feels up in the air financially. DH is saying he needs a van for work (which to be fair he does) but that means about £6-7k we haven't got. We applied for a loan which was declined (which I was secretly glad of as I felt sick at the thought of getting into more debt). Now DH is saying we wait until majority of CC is paid off (we paid for flights and car hire for five people but are getting the money soon for the other three) and then try reapplying with his bank. I have said I don't know. I understand he needs it but would prefer to save up the money but in reality that would take at least a year and he needs a van asap. The problem is I think DH has no clue about finances because when I said it would mean having to wait a couple of years, maybe more, to ttc he seemed annoyed/upset and couldn't understand why!!!

claire16c

walby1993 wrote: »

Claire, the fact your cycles are long doesn't necessairly mean you will have problems ttc. My cycles are seven weeks long and I fell pregnant our second month of trying. Are you still ov'ing but just its late in the cycle?

And on that note, at the moment everything feels up in the air financially. DH is saying he needs a van for work (which to be fair he does) but that means about £6-7k we haven't got. We applied for a loan which was declined (which I was secretly glad of as I felt sick at the thought of getting into more debt). Now DH is saying we wait until majority of CC is paid off (we paid for flights and car hire for five people but are getting the money soon for the other three) and then try reapplying with his bank. I have said I don't know. I understand he needs it but would prefer to save up the money but in reality that would take at least a year and he needs a van asap. The problem is I think DH has no clue about finances because when I said it would mean having to wait a couple of years, maybe more, to ttc he seemed annoyed/upset and couldn't understand why!!!

When you got pg on the ttc board it did give me hope because I know you said you had long cycles too. I think Ive just panicked myself because I keep reading bad things about long cycles and egg quality etc. But on the other hand nothing Ive read is anything proven, its all just doctors 'opinions'.

According to opks and temps I am ov, just at around 3-5 weeks. So it also drives me mad waiting so long to ov. In the non- ttc world long cycles are great because you dont have AF as much but when you want to ttc its not good!

Financially we will be better off if we dont start ttc for a couple of months yet too. I think if I was in your position I would perhaps try to save up maybe half the money for the van and then see if you could get finance at the car place or just open a 0% credit card for the rest? I wouldnt want to be paying interest on a loan if you can help it.

Its weird one day Im all relaxed about it and then other days I cant stand waiting.

I have to say the one thing that makes me in no rush, is when I go baby sitting :rotfl:

sharrison778

walby1993 - VR is a vasectomy reversal. My partner was married previously and had a vasectomy done after having 2 kids. The ex wife wanted more but he didnt. Its quite sad actually, from his perspective the marriage was dead after 4 years but by that point they had 2 young kinds and he felt stuck.

Happily I've never had to push the idea of a reversal - he's more than happy to do it and then if that doesnt work, IVF. I suppose thats why I am curious how long ppl factor for it to happen naturally because I'm aware we may have to go the IVF route if it doesnt. All in all, it makes me keen to start sooner.

Without knowing anything about your finances, is buying the van and ttc at the same time totally out of the question? People always say that you're never really ready for children....

claire16c - were your cycles always long or just since coming off the pill?