Those who are waiting to TTC

LittleMoog

morning all it's a bit quiet round here!

I've now been off the pill for 2.5 weeks, and I feel dreadful! I have hypothyroidism, and I'm thinking that the change in hormone levels has upset my thyroid levels, so going to the GPs on Friday to sort out a blood test to check. I also have a massive breakout of spots on my chin and all round my hairline, ick! I didn't really get spots as a teen before I went on the pill, so not sure what's going on now.

Not much else going on, just waiting to see if the bleed I had 2 weeks ago was a withdrawal bleed, or a proper period.

clearing_out_my_pockets

Birdie85 wrote: »

'Everyone' thinks/knows I'm baby obsessed too, every time I pick up a wine glass when I see my friends they always look shocked that I'm drinking as it means I'm not pregnant yet! :rotfl:

Some good friends of ours are getting married next August (another reason to wait a little, don't want to be going into labour on the wedding day!) and as they're having a church wedding I'm going to get a fab hat to wear, but I can't start looking in the sales for hats/matching frocks in case I'm a little bit/massively pregnant and any dress I buy may not fit, so frustrating! I daren't buy maternity wear and tempt fate! :eek: I've also been invited on her Hen weekend which will be in June, (either Marbella or Cetre Parcs, in discussion right now) and I really want to go but worried that I might be the boring fat preggo who stays sober and goes to bed at 9 o'clock!

It's funny - I read that and thought "I don't remember typing that. Oh - I've got some of the details wrong. Oh wait, that's not my post". I think I need more coffee!

My brother's wedding is in May, the hen's likely to be a drink filled affair and almost ALL of my family are expecting an imminent pregnancy announcement. Well, apart from my mum!

We've opted not to tell anyone (in real life) our TTC plans, but I let it slip to my best friend and my mum. In fairness though, my mum had said that she'd be looking at my left arm each time I go round (that's where the implant is and the removal would leave a scar). So I told her. If we do fall pregnant quickly, she's going to help me cover up the not drinking at my brother's wedding thing. I'm happy to have one glass of fizz for the toast and then either 'vodka and diet coke' or 'vodka and orange'. Except I might forget to ask for the vodka :rotfl:

My best friend - she would have guessed anyway. We have a strange bond that neither of us can quite explain. At the beginning of this month she was acting a little weird. Not too weird, but she just wasn't quite herself. I said to DH that I had a suspicion that she was actually going to go through with her secret wedding soon. Lo and behold, 6th August she got married. In secret. So we can't keep secrets from each other!

I've decided not to tell my other best friend (who I've not seen since my wedding three months ago, despite living a 5 minute drive away) that we're going to be trying. Last time we discussed children, she said that I'll need to give her a bit of notice so that she and her DH could get in there before us. As if it's a competition

walby1993

People like that are sooo annoying! Why are they worried when other people are having babies? They should just do it when the time is right for them!

I had a naughty moment last night and asked DH if I should cancel my doctors appointment to get a repeat prescription of the Pill..... He said I have "drummed into" him how much we can't afford babies right now and that its not a good idea as we are still in our flat. His right, of course, but it was nice to dream for a few moments!

clearing_out_my_pockets

walby1993 wrote: »

People like that are sooo annoying! Why are they worried when other people are having babies? They should just do it when the time is right for them!

Therein lies the problem, I think - she's ready, he's not. A couple of times she's 'forgotten' to take the pill and she 'forgets' to tell him when she's on antibiotics. She's setting herself up for a fall if she succeeds in doing it that way...:o

Birdie85

I have a friend like that so I'm definitely not saying anything until it's time to announce that we've actually got a bun in the oven! She's already told her husband that she wants to get pregnant at the same time as me so we can 'be on maternity leave together', but it's more like that she can't bear for me to have the attention! She got engaged 6 months after I did because she couldn't stand the thought that I was getting married and she wasn't (she pestered her poor OH for months, actually using me as a reason why they should get engaged!), she got married 5 months after me and spent the run up to my wedding talking about hers and not even shutting up about it on my own hen party, so I can see she's going to be a nightmare when I say I'm having a baby! It's like her whole life is in competition with someone and I just don't get it, there's no way we'd rush anything just so we feel like we've 'won'! The very fact that we were doing that would make us losers!

COMP your Mum sounds so sweet helping you cover up your pregnancy should she have to! My Mum would just end up telling everyone as she's already so excited at the prospect of being a Gran Gran! She really needs to stop going into the baby section in John Lewis to try out the prams, it's getting weird now! :rotfl:

euronorris

I used to have a friend like that, and she would always try to rub it in my face whenever she achieved something before me. Needless to say, after lots of 'Why aren't you married yet? You really should settle down you know.' type comments (and she KNEW that I just hadn't met the right guy!) I started backing away from her considerably. We're just acquaintances now.

She's currently pregnant, and overdue, but we had a brief update/chat on FB yesterday. Starts off alright, but then starts comparing herself to me again and 'oh you're so good at learning another language. I'm awful, it's not fair. I wish I was as brave as you moving to another country etc.' (but then, she thought was I brave when I moved into my own apartment for 6 months!! Not quite sure why she thought that was brave!). Seems nice enough, but we've been down this road before, and if I respond with the usual 'I'm sure you could learn another language too if you wanted, and you are so lucky as you already have a baby on the way etc.', I'd then get 'No, I'm rubbish, I could never do it.' and 'If you want a baby, you should just have one.'! It's all very inconsiderate, and annoying that she doesn't appreciate what she does have!

She's very, very insecure and doesn't seem to have any desire to try and conquer that. *shrugs* Not much I can do about it, and no amount of compliments would help, so I eventually started distancing myself.

clearing_out_my_pockets

See with my friend I think it's jealousy. Not that my life is perfect in any way, but at school there were a group of five of us that were quite close. She was the first to get married in 2008; the other four of us have coincidentally all got married this year. All me friend keeps saying is "when I got married I did this" and "when I went on honeymoon I did that" which is fine except she was doing it on my wedding day. I disn't want to be talking about her wedding when we were having our hair and makeup done! I think she was feeling a bit put out that she's not the only married one any more!

It's quite sad really - we're unfortunately not that close any more, even though she's only 2-3 miles away. I can count precisely the number of times I've seen her this year - three. And it's not for want of trying! The other friend lives 12 miles from me and I see her at least once a month. Ah well.

I'm in one of those moods today unfortunately.

euronorris

My Mum would always say that about my friend (she still does), that it's jealousy and I can see where she is coming from. But I think insecurity is behind the jealousy.

I can't understand why she would compare us so much otherwise. I mean, my life isn't fantastic. It is what it is. ANd her life isn't awful either. She was lucky enough to find her dream man young, and a substantial inheritence means they have a tiny mortgage, and they have a baby girl on the way! She's very lucky, but she just focuses on what I've got that she hasn't! Silly.

Magicboo

euronorris wrote: »

She was lucky enough to find her dream man young, and a substantial inheritence means they have a tiny mortgage, and they have a baby girl on the way! She's very lucky, but she just focuses on what I've got that she hasn't! Silly.

How sad she's like that-what would any of us give to have a life like that?!
No exciting news here, I'm on CD17 and I'm really trying to keep notes on what's happening "down there" I really want to be prepared for when it comes to TTC. I had a hen doo this weekend, it was a corker and I also got to have alot of cuddles with my friends babies, a 5 month old, 2 x 3 month olds and a 7 week old. It was a)lovely and b)really useful to see how different they are at various ages and see how fast they change!
x

Birdie85

I think you did right to distance yourself from her Euro, some people are just never happy with who they are and are always seeking validation from others, it can be very wearing! You feel like shaking these people and telling them to concentrate on the good in life! There's a heartbreaking thread on here by GlasweJen saying that she's got 6 months left to live and is trying to figure out if/how to tell a good friend that she loves him before it's too late; now that is someone who deserves to moan about the unfairness of life but she's being so strong about it. Maybe the miserable people moaning about wanting to be more like someone else should read that thread and realise how precious our little lives are!

I've distanced myself from a few friends who are turning into hard work to be around, I've known them for years and I've been hearing the same moans the entire time I've known them, but they've done nothing to fix their problems! The last time I saw one friend she went on and on about how she could never see herself getting married yet and that 'settling down' was the same as 'settling', her career is the most important thing to her (whilst I have a 'job'), kids are the end of everything and if I have a baby I won't see her for 3 years as she hates babies... I know she was probably saying these things to make herself feel better but she actually really hurt my feelings as she was acting like I've thrown my life away; I've never rubbed my life (which isn't 'better' than hers, but it's what I want so I'm happy) in her face so don't really deserve that, not once have I been the 'smug married' around her. I've always played down how happy I am and tried not to talk about DH too much so she doesn't feel like I'm bragging but she still has to say hurtful things to cover up her own insecurities. I'm actually kind of dreading telling her when I do get pregnant!

Just had a call to say our tickets for Florida are ready to be collected, only 23 days to go! So excited! :j