Help son looking at websites he shouldnt be

tom9980

I wondered if someone was savvy enough to know about opendns thankfully bob was! all the advice given is very good but to summarize it for you.

1. Trust - the biggest issue he deserves a punishment for breaking it, make sure he knows this is your biggest concern of all to him.
2. Curiosity - Its normal really, its best to have a decent chat about sex with him, he is obviously curious to learn more and the sooner the better frankly. By turning it into something that is "wrong" wont do him any good long term so tackle it head on. http://www.channel4.com/programmes/the-sex-education-show/4od A few select episodes of this may be useful for him to see.
3. OpenDns - http://www.opendns.com/familyshield - This is the best way to secure your internet access at home and chances are he will have no idea how to circumvent it at all. Its important the router you have has a password only you know, also check its blocking access on a regular basis just in case.
4. PC - He cannot be trusted so it needs to be in a public place at all times until he can be trusted. Applying windows parental controls would be wise as well, you should have no need to pay for any software at all.
5. Be aware that often you can gain internet access from neighbours houses (illegal) as often people do not password protect it, my laptop has access to a couple right now.
6. Mobile devices etc all can gain access so the software lots of people mention here really wont do you much good if he is smart and determined.

diable

You can filter sites on the router as I had to do for a friend so any !!!!!! site someone tried to access re routed the to Disney

Mrs_Arcanum

Seems a fairly natural thing for a 13 year old boy to be looking at. Honesty & trust over this is a more serious issue.

However my concern would be the amount of viruses and suchlike that seem to go along with pron sites.

Teddy_KGB

diable wrote: »

You can filter sites on the router as I had to do for a friend so any !!!!!! site someone tried to access re routed the to Disney

How is that going to help? There will be some really hot girls on that site! Little Mermaid, Cinderella etc :rotfl:

mymerrywidow

my son is also 13 and has found out what his body does!!

he looks at images on the internet. anything too graphic is blocked.

but when we were young we had no computers or stuff like that. and i left school not knowing how to have to have sex. i knew i could get pregnant if i had a period but i didnt know how to get pregnant.

so i allow my son to browse the internet, the pc is in the lounge so i can keep a eye on him and answer any questions he may have.

Mojisola

I would get him to watch the Channel 4 Sex Education shows - as suggested by tom9980. They show what the kids are interested in knowing but put the information in context.

The Embarrassing Bodies website - https://www.channel4embarrassingillnesses.com/ - also has a lot of straightforward information on bodies and sex. Also http://sexperienceuk.channel4.com/

There's no way you'll stop him from seeing what's being discussed at school but you can make it clear why you don't want it being viewed in your home. Get talking to him about sex and relationships so that he can come to you if he has worries about anything. Make sure he understands that a boy having sex with a girl younger than 16 can end up on the sex offenders register which will have an impact on the rest of his life.

Mupette

Teddy_KGB wrote: »

:rotfl: Do you seriously think that any boy who watches !!!!!! will think that every girl looks like the !!!!!! girls? He just needs to look round at the girls at school to see that isn't the case.

What I would worry about is him thinking that all girls love the money shot and don't mind where the man puts it! He might start to think his package is too small cause he isn't 10"!

Well it will probably not surprise you that there are a lot of people out there who believe everything they see/read on the internet, yes there are men out there who really think that the money shot is what the girls love...

We all look super skinny and wear skimpy outfits and make stupid faces (sorry horny faces) don't we...

I'm always with my red lippy, groaning and moaning... err yeah


Kids aren't stupid, they know what real and what's not real, what's wrong with me reminding my son?

andy.m_2

Dont be so quick to get on at him.

You may just drive it/him underground and then you will create the aura that sex and !!!!!! is wrong, then we are back to opression.

If it's not animals and kids then wahay, he won't really turn blind you know.

This is just the modern day version of finding a grotty copy of titbits in the alley by the garages, a teenage boy should celebrate the form of a beautiful woman and the discovery of self pleasure is a natural part of puberty.

Just an opinion....

jetta_wales

To be honest you and your partners reactions sound like a great way to make sure he never feels like he can come to talk to you about any of this stuff or any sexual experiences, questions or problems he might encounter in the future. Well done.

Times have changed what you might think is extreme is what a lot of people thoroughly enjoy in a perfectly natural and consensual experience. The stuff that truly is extreme is just looked at out of morbid curiosity and for the shock factor like 2 girls *** *** etc people show other people that then video their reactions to put it on you tube lol.

This is the turning point where you get to decide how your relationship with your son goes regarding sex and you've really not made a very good start so far tbh.

Mojisola

andy.m wrote: »

This is just the modern day version of finding a grotty copy of titbits in the alley by the garages, a teenage boy should celebrate the form of a beautiful woman and the discovery of self pleasure is a natural part of puberty.

The trouble is that a lot of what's easily available on the net isn't the equivalent of top-shelf lad's mags - it's more like the stuff that could only be bought in the back rooms of Soho sex shops. Some of it is very nasty and not the best introduction for a youngster wanting to learn about sex.