Help son looking at websites he shouldnt be

jetta_wales

Putting a filter on the router will do nothing to filter a neighbours unsecured wireless connection that he can use instead. Will do nothing to block anything on his phone not accessed through the router. Will do nothing to stop him seeing it at a friends house. Nothing to stop his mate sending him a few filthy clips over Bluetooth on his mobile and will do nothing to build a decent open bond with your child so they will feel comfortable coming to do about such issues if any should ever arise in the future.

Fool yourself all you like but you won't achieve anything positive at all.

Torry_Quine

daviecol wrote: »

Sorry I seem to have failed to get my point across to you. What I meant was that it's simply not fair to make your children promise not to do something which in the end they are bound to try.

i.e. Look at !!!!!!, try smoking, try alcohol, masturbate, light a match and hold it till it burns to the end, jump in puddles and so on.

The poster was upset because her son broke a promise to not look at !!!!!!, however she shouldn't have made him make a promise he was never going to be able to keep.

I know exactly what you mean. However I disagree that all children are bound to try the things you list.

Percy1983

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I know exactly what you mean. However I disagree that all children are bound to try the things you list.

I would agree, I think it was more about let them try if they want.

Torry_Quine

Percy1983 wrote: »

I would agree, I think it was more about let them try if they want.

A parent shouldn't let their child try something just because they want to though if it is something illegal such as viewing !!!!!! underage or drinking alcohol for example.

Percy1983

Torry_Quine wrote: »

A parent shouldn't let their child try something just because they want to though if it is something illegal such as viewing !!!!!! underage or drinking alcohol for example.

Well if it sin't damaging the them or others then why not.

As I say when I was young and going to a party if my mum and dad asked will I be drinking I could be honest and say yes, if they said I couldn't I would have just lied and done it anyway. Now looking at it form my parents view, they knew what I was upto as I never needed to lie.

I am with the thought that in saying a teenager can't drink or watch !!!!!! to a point you are forcing them to lie, as it is I am not a dishonest person but I would have lied if I had to in that situation.

EG, if my mum said have you been looking at !!!!!! and I said yes it would have been fine, but if I knew that saying yes would lead to a ban/restiction on the internet I would have lied.

In short if you can't stop them why try?

Torry_Quine

Percy1983 wrote: »

Well if it sin't damaging the them or others then why not.

As I say when I was young and going to a party if my mum and dad asked will I be drinking I could be honest and say yes, if they said I couldn't I would have just lied and done it anyway. Now looking at it form my parents view, they knew what I was upto as I never needed to lie.

I am with the thought that in saying a teenager can't drink or watch !!!!!! to a point you are forcing them to lie, as it is I am not a dishonest person but I would have lied if I had to in that situation.

EG, if my mum said have you been looking at !!!!!! and I said yes it would have been fine, but if I knew that saying yes would lead to a ban/restiction on the internet I would have lied.

In short if you can't stop them why try?

When I was a teenager I answered my parents honestly and didn't do things they would not have wanted me to do and find it very sad that this is not the norm. Although I was very pleased to learn this week that the child of a friend of mine was refusing to stay with a friend as they had been shown a DVD which was rated a few years older than they are.

Percy1983

Torry_Quine wrote: »

When I was a teenager I answered my parents honestly and didn't do things they would not have wanted me to do and find it very sad that this is not the norm. Although I was very pleased to learn this week that the child of a friend of mine was refusing to stay with a friend as they had been shown a DVD which was rated a few years older than they are.

Weren't you well behaved, as it is I never needed to lie to my parents either. But I can say that if they did try to pen me in then I would have lied and wouldn't have regretted it.

In short if you treat a teenager like child don't be suprised when they lie/rebel, if you treat them like a young adult and give them an inch they will have no reason to lie/rebel.

As I have said before, it comes down to what you think a teenager is.

Tropez

Torry_Quine wrote: »

A parent shouldn't let their child try something just because they want to though if it is something illegal such as viewing !!!!!! underage or drinking alcohol for example.

Children from the age of five and above are legally allowed to drink alcohol in private (ie in their home), although the law would likely step in if someone was letting a five year old get tanked every night but then no sane person would ever condone allowing a five year old to drink anything more than maybe a very weak shandy. To be honest, I wouldn't allow a child of mine to drink any form of alcohol at that age anyway but from age 10 onwards, there's no harm in allowing them a weak drink like shandy.

Gina_22

buy some application that will block those website.

jamespir

he needs this talk http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMe1cCoGYu4 then block his accesss