Help son looking at websites he shouldnt be

jetta_wales

Kimberley82 wrote: »

How is it harmful? I have watched !!!!!! since I was about 14. I can honestly say it has had no negative effect on me at all.

Ah you've got to chuckle though :beer:

rachbc

I'm not the biggest fan of !!!!!! - for all sorts of reasons BUT I totally accept that my 13 yo son probably is or soon will be having a look (and more). After finding several crusty flannles last time I changed his bed I'll be letting him do the sheets in future!

Given that it didn't turn my OH into a raging perv I doubt it will him - and well you can't get much more monogomous than a 1 to 1o relationship with youself can you :rotfl::rotfl:

Percy1983

PRINCESSX87 wrote: »

I cant understand how you can say that. Children & teens do have imaginations. In fact more then adults, So that's not a valid excuse!

Sorry but my imagination of sexual situations at that age was not the same as my imagination in what to build with lego. If anything that imagination has bult up from many years of sex/!!!!!!, I was just learning back then.

I do think the big thing here is I don't see a teenager as a child but a young developing adult, to which I do believe they should be exposed to things not hidden from them.

As an adult its still perfectly healthy (my other half would prefer I watch !!!!!! than chase other women while she isn't around) and as mentioned before it gives us all sorts of things to try.

Now I will make one very blunt point now, as a male of any age after the hormones have kicked in, !!!!!! is purely about getting aroused/getting off, and as crude as this sounds !!!!!! is better than a 'memory !!!!' for men, so if its available thats what we will do.

Is it wrong that a 13 year old has the same (if not more) urges as any other man?

Torry_Quine

Percy1983 wrote: »

ning back then.

I do think the big thing here is I don't see a teenager as a child but a young developing adult, to which I do believe they should be exposed to things not hidden from them.

As an adult its still perfectly healthy (my other half would prefer I watch !!!!!! than chase other women while she isn't around) and as mentioned before it gives us all sorts of things to try.

Now I will make one very blunt point now, as a male of any age after the hormones have kicked in, !!!!!! is purely about getting aroused/getting off, and as crude as this sounds !!!!!! is better than a 'memory !!!!' for men, so if its available thats what we will do.

Is it wrong that a 13 year old has the same (if not more) urges as any other man?

They should not be exposed to sexual images such as !!!!!! at such a young age.

I think it's very sad that you appear to say that your other half feels that if you didn't watch !!!!!! you would be chasing other women. Where is the mutual trust in the relationship?

As I have absolutely no idea and probably don't want to know what a 'memory !!!! is, I can't answer whether it is worse than !!!!!!.

You don't have to act on urges of any kind

Percy1983

Torry_Quine wrote: »

They should not be exposed to sexual images such as !!!!!! at such a young age.

I think it's very sad that you appear to say that your other half feels that if you didn't watch !!!!!! you would be chasing other women. Where is the mutual trust in the relationship?

As I have absolutely no idea and probably don't want to know what a 'memory !!!! is, I can't answer whether it is worse than !!!!!!.

You don't have to act on urges of any kind

Don't worry there is 100% trust in our relationship, if !!!!!! was not available I wouldn't be chasing other women and she knows that.

!!!! was another word for self pleasure, as in doing it from memory isn't as good as with visual stimulation.

My point is I will pick BDSM as a more extreme thing, now does it matter at the age of 13,20,30,40 etc, they will see it and either think 'thats great I want to do that' or 'why the hell would you do that'. It is then down to them to find a women who shares the same idea.

My point is the things what turn me on now haven't changed from the first time I saw them, some of which would have been in my teens, I was programmed to like what I do way before I saw them as instantly some things worked for me while others didn't. The thing is I grew up knowing exactly what I want out of sex and have a partner who wants to same things.

My point is, they are looking at what they want to see, they will look at many things and figure what they like and dislike, overall a 13 years old knows there own mind and isn't as impressionable as you seem to think.

It would seem I was brought up in quite a liberal way to which I would bring my children up in a similar way.

So we should all suppress all urges? aren't urges the things which make us human?

Torry_Quine

Percy1983 wrote: »

Don't worry there is 100% trust in our relationship, if !!!!!! was not available I wouldn't be chasing other women and she knows that.

!!!! was another word for self pleasure, as in doing it from memory isn't as good as with visual stimulation.

My point is I will pick BDSM as a more extreme thing, now does it matter at the age of 13,20,30,40 etc, they will see it and either think 'thats great I want to do that' or 'why the hell would you do that'. It is then down to them to find a women who shares the same idea.

My point is the things what turn me on now haven't changed from the first time I saw them, some of which would have been in my teens, I was programmed to like what I do way before I saw them as instantly some things worked for me while others didn't. The thing is I grew up knowing exactly what I want out of sex and have a partner who wants to same things.

My point is, they are looking at what they want to see, they will look at many things and figure what they like and dislike, overall a 13 years old knows there own mind and isn't as impressionable as you seem to think.

It would seem I was brought up in quite a liberal way to which I would bring my children up in a similar way.

So we should all suppress all urges? aren't urges the things which make us human?

You were the one who said your other half would rather you watch !!!!!! than chase other women.

I'm not going to get into a debate about which urges should be suppressed but rest assured there are plenty! What makes us human is the ability not to always act on our urges but realise when they shouldn't be acted on.

It would appear that your views are more liberal than mine but I'm not going to get into whose ways are best.

jetta_wales

Percy1983 wrote: »

Don't worry there is 100% trust in our relationship, if !!!!!! was not available I wouldn't be chasing other women and she knows that.

!!!! was another word for self pleasure, as in doing it from memory isn't as good as with visual stimulation.

My point is I will pick BDSM as a more extreme thing, now does it matter at the age of 13,20,30,40 etc, they will see it and either think 'thats great I want to do that' or 'why the hell would you do that'. It is then down to them to find a women who shares the same idea.

My point is the things what turn me on now haven't changed from the first time I saw them, some of which would have been in my teens, I was programmed to like what I do way before I saw them as instantly some things worked for me while others didn't. The thing is I grew up knowing exactly what I want out of sex and have a partner who wants to same things.

My point is, they are looking at what they want to see, they will look at many things and figure what they like and dislike, overall a 13 years old knows there own mind and isn't as impressionable as you seem to think.

It would seem I was brought up in quite a liberal way to which I would bring my children up in a similar way.

So we should all suppress all urges? aren't urges the things which make us human?

I too have always liked the things I like now from way before I first saw them, my day dreams just didn't have the sexual element until I hit puberty I still always wanted to be the damsel in distress in any make believe game I played. Then came puberty then my day dreams got a little more adult and with the Internet I finally was able to understand them and was quite relieved to learn it's not just me that has these desires and they're actually quite common (to varying degrees) and normal indeed.

If I hadn't had access to such a wealth of information from !!!!!! sites and adult fiction sites but had been told such things were wrong and even harmful to want then I certainly would have gotten quite messed up thinking something was wrong with me.

My parents weren't the liberal kind, my Mum had to ask my older sister once what a blow job was as she had heard the term and didn't know what it meant lol. My sister was mortified at having to explain it and my Mum was mortified at what it was. Unlucky Dad hahaha.

Fortunately for me They knew nothing about cmputers or the Internet or teenage desires and I had the internet to explore, learn and understand.

I intend to be the liberal parent so my children don't have to go it alone.

Kimberley82

jetta_wales wrote: »

I too have always liked the things I like now from way before I first saw them, my day dreams just didn't have the sexual element until I hit puberty I still always wanted to be the damsel in distress in any make believe game I played. Then came puberty then my day dreams got a little more adult and with the Internet I finally was able to understand them and was quite relieved to learn it's not just me that has these desires and they're actually quite common (to varying degrees) and normal indeed.

If I hadn't had access to such a wealth of information from !!!!!! sites and adult fiction sites but had been told such things were wrong and even harmful to want then I certainly would have gotten quite messed up thinking something was wrong with me.

My parents weren't the liberal kind, my Mum had to ask my older sister once what a blow job was as she had heard the term and didn't know what it meant lol. My sister was mortified at having to explain it and my Mum was mortified at what it was. Unlucky Dad hahaha.

Fortunately for me They knew nothing about cmputers or the Internet or teenage desires and I had the internet to explore, learn and understand.

I intend to be the liberal parent so my children don't have to go it alone.

me too, I thought I was odd or there was something wrong with me as girls were meant to be interested in sex etc. Was such a relief to realise I was normal

Percy1983

Torry_Quine wrote: »

You were the one who said your other half would rather you watch !!!!!! than chase other women.

I'm not going to get into a debate about which urges should be suppressed but rest assured there are plenty! What makes us human is the ability not to always act on our urges but realise when they shouldn't be acted on.

It would appear that your views are more liberal than mine but I'm not going to get into whose ways are best.

Well my other half would prefer that, but its not one or the other trust me.

Yes a do agree that there is urges which should suppressed, but to be interested in sex isn't one which should be. Yes the urge to kill should be. The point is what a 13 year old does on is own with a computer when nobody is looking hurts nobody and pleases his own urges so why not?

Yes by all means we do seem to have rather different views, but my point is suppressing such a basic human want/need can't be healthy in my opinion, just let it out (literally in this case :rotfl:).

Mojisola

Percy1983 wrote: »

The point is what a 13 year old does on is own with a computer when nobody is looking hurts nobody and pleases his own urges so why not?

That's not always the case. Some !!!!!! sites are used to introduce viruses so the OP needs to make sure they have up-to-date protection on the computer.

Also, depending on Mum and Dad's jobs, they could have problems if the son downloads unacceptable things. Keep a check on him or never have the computer serviced/repaired!