Help son looking at websites he shouldnt be

jetta_wales

Percy1983 wrote: »

As for actually allowing it I can think of a few sites which are 'mainstream', free and safe these are the ones I directed my nephew too.

Here is an interesting though on this subject which I have never understood, you are meant to be 18 to watch !!!!!!, but you can have sex at 16, so for 2 years of your life you can do it but not watch it...

You can't buy a sex toy till 18 either. We're always telling teens not to have sex too soon but they can't legally buy a vibrator for a bit of help playing by themselves till their 18 though they can even have anal sex at 16. Yeah that really is all a bit backwards isn't it.

Mojisola

Buy him the right books, direct him to some mainstream websites, suggest he watches some relevant TV programmes and he'll soon be the fount of all knowledge for his peer group. He won't need sites with the yuck factor - he'll know the real stuff.

Alias_Omega

Nuts, Zoo, The Sun, The Sport - All contain topless ladies

Sky 900 channels - All contain chat channels, midnight free views

Google - If you google 36DD with the content filter off, you get to see lots of ( . ) ( . )

Its all out there, and you wont be able to filter it all.


My parents first knew that i was interested in women, when my sister complained to my mum in the car that i was looking at womens bra's in a littlewoods book..

Torry_Quine

Mojisola wrote: »

Buy him the right books, direct him to some mainstream websites, suggest he watches some relevant TV programmes and he'll soon be the fount of all knowledge for his peer group. He won't need sites with the yuck factor - he'll know the real stuff.

Well this is definitely not the right thing to do in my opinion. He is only a child and should be protected as much as is possible from bad influences such as all pornography. Yes, I realise that to many that is unrealistic but we must at least try.

andy.m_2

I remember the first time I clapt eyes on the undies section of the Kays catalogue.

Happy days indeed

Mojisola

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Well this is definitely not the right thing to do in my opinion. He is only a child and should be protected as much as is possible from bad influences such as all pornography. Yes, I realise that to many that is unrealistic but we must at least try.

He will - or should - have had sex education classes in school by now. You can't pretend that sex doesn't exist. Watching programmes aimed at teenagers and including teenagers themselves talking about sex and relationships is a great way to learn what's true and what's normal.

Proc

I haven't read the whole thread.

I understand trust is an issue in your household. But nobody is 100% honest and open with every aspect of their lives.

He's 13. If he can't look at !!!!!! at home, he will look at it at his mate's house, on the school computers, or ask one of the older lads to buy him some magazines.

I don't know a single lad that hasn't looked at !!!!!! at that age. Fu*k, when I was 13 we had a dial-up connection. It took me 45 seconds just to open a picture. The PC was so slow that heaven forbid I heard my parents wake up to come downstairs, I'd click the "X" in the top right but it was so slow to respond I'd have to just switch off the mains supply just before my mum walked in, put on my best poker-face and pretend I was just going to bed...with my sock.

I'm not saying you're over-reacting, but I'd maybe suggest giving some slack. Just monitor his internet history. If there's anything vile/illegal (child, animals, rape etc) then look at locking things down. Until then, let him cure his curiosity. Just make sure he wipes the keyboard afterwards.

happierdaystocome

OP in my local area there is a programme run at the family centres call speak easy which teachers parents how to talk about sex with their children. It may be worth investigating whether there is something similar in your area as it may enable you to talk to your son about what he is watching as as others have said if he isnt veiwing it at home he will just find another way of getting hold of the !!!!!!.

PRINCESSX87

OP, I didn’t want to read & run,

I understand your concern about watching !!!!!! online, But we need to remember that sex IS everywhere now days. The fact your son could watch TV after 9pm any night of the week will only making him “wonder”

Plus the fact he is a 13 yr old, Who is properly hearing on a daily basis that his friends have done this & that. I don’t think that he is watching !!!!!! to upset you or even break your trust.

I have worked with children / teenagers in the past who have said to me:-

“My mum & dad says I can ask them anything about sex..”

But, They also admit that they wouldn’t ask more details questions, Maybe this is where he is using the !!!!!! to educate himself.

No matter how careful you & your OH are, With adding security to the computer he could still watch it on mobile phones, Ipods, mags ect.


Plus he is at the age where peer pressure is going to be taking place.

May I suggest that you sit down with your son & let him talk. Let him explain why he feels the need to look at these things. Don’t get worked up if at first he doesn’t explain or even reply. But explain to him the dangers of “FREE !!!!!!” In regards to virus, ect. By opening some of these pages, Could result in files downloading behind the page. These could be very real images of children / animals & adults being abused.

Also maybe explain to him what you believe - Grown up sex is about.

Everyone will have different views. Really your in a no win situation. But you can give it a bloody good go. But do NOT show your son that your angry, disappointed ect.

Good luck hun, Please update us when you can of the outcome!

Torry_Quine

Mojisola wrote: »

He will - or should - have had sex education classes in school by now. You can't pretend that sex doesn't exist. Watching programmes aimed at teenagers and including teenagers themselves talking about sex and relationships is a great way to learn what's true and what's normal.

Yes sex education should have started at this age and of course I'm not pretending sex doesn't exist.

Programmes aimed at teenagers can be good but not always as they can show or imply certain behaviours which are not appropriate. The CH 4 sex education show is good though.

Of course the pornography which is being viewed is totally different and should be totally discouraged at this age.