Help son looking at websites he shouldnt be

janninew

Mojisola wrote: »

Girls do get this pressure from boys and some boys are also affected because they don't look like the studs in the !!!!!!.

That's why I think the Channel 4 sex programmes are so good - they show that everyone looks different and give the kids confidence that they are "normal".

I agree some boys will also feel under pressure, I do feel like it affects girls more. I work in a secondary school and in Class lessons we do discuss images in the media and girls often admit they feel inferior, all you have to do is open a daily paper and the first thing you are greeted with is a topless women! Many girls wonder why they don't have bodies like these women.

I think the Channel 4 show has done a great job of showing what "normal" people look like. We are hoping to show this series to the older children in school eventually.

daviecol

[QUOTE=janninew;43448436

I worry that boys watching !!!!!! think all women look like !!!!!! stars, this puts more pressure on young girls to look a certain way. I don't think you can stop boys looking at !!!!!!, they will always find a way.[/QUOTE]

I must say I think girls put each other under pressure to look perfect. Having listened to my daughter and her friends talking they are always quick to slag off another girl for their appearance (in real life or on the tv).

Whereas boys (in my experience) tend to be far less critical.

Tropez

janninew wrote: »

I agree some boys will also feel under pressure, I do feel like it affects girls more. I work in a secondary school and in Class lessons we do discuss images in the media and girls often admit they feel inferior, all you have to do is open a daily paper and the first thing you are greeted with is a topless women! Many girls wonder why they don't have bodies like these women.

Boys have the exact same hang ups but they won't admit it simply because it'd be the quickest way to get bullied.

I remember being at school when Titanic came out. All the girls were fawning over Leonardo Di Caprio but you wouldn't find one single boy in the entire school who had anything pleasant to say about him. Same went for David Beckham - even the Man U fans in the school found him oddly irritating... I wonder why?

Boys have the same insecurities and the same overly perfect image of men is presented in the media but the fact is that few of them are going to admit it; they'll just bottle up jealousy instead.

clairibel

I think people are missing the point about the OP, her son is watching hardcore stuff, not normal !!!!!! which is fine and part of growing up.

No-one is a prude we have more or less all come into contact with !!!!!!, its the degree of !!!!!! that is the issue and some of it is very nasty on the net and not at all what you would want you 13 year old viewing. In fact i don't understand why anyone views it and why they can't be happy with just normal !!!!!!.

Tropez

clairibel wrote: »

I think people are missing the point about the OP, her son is watching hardcore stuff, not normal !!!!!! which is fine and part of growing up.

No-one is a prude we have more or less all come into contact with !!!!!!, its the degree of !!!!!! that is the issue and some of it is very nasty on the net and not at all what you would want you 13 year old viewing. In fact i don't understand why anyone views it and why they can't be happy with just normal !!!!!!.

The thing is though "hardcore" is vague. Hardcore can easily mean what you might describe as normal !!!!!!. At its most basic definition, hardcore is simply !!!!!! that shows penetration and differs from softcore which does not. The R18 video category in the UK is reserved for hardcore !!!!!! but more extreme !!!!!! such as certain types of BDSM is not permitted even under the R18 category so although the OP may be concerned that her son is viewing hardcore !!!!!! it does not necessarily mean that he is viewing what UK law terms as extreme !!!!!!.

jetta_wales

Tropez wrote: »

The thing is though "hardcore" is vague. Hardcore can easily mean what you might describe as normal !!!!!!. At its most basic definition, hardcore is simply !!!!!! that shows penetration and differs from softcore which does not. The R18 video category in the UK is reserved for hardcore !!!!!! but more extreme !!!!!! such as certain types of BDSM is not permitted even under the R18 category so although the OP may be concerned that her son is viewing hardcore !!!!!! it does not necessarily mean that he is viewing what UK law terms as extreme !!!!!!.

To some hardcore is anal to others it's rope play or spanking. Fact is what used to be thought of as extreme is quite commonly enjoyed these days hence the difference in perspectives.

I saw and read all sorts on the net when I first had the internet at 14, hence I was the one my friends all came to when they wanted to know about something that they couldn't ask anybody else about. I want my kids to know they can come to me and giving them a telling off for indulging their curiosities is not going to achieve that.

Tropez

jetta_wales wrote: »

To some hardcore is anal to others it's rope play or spanking. Fact is what used to be thought of as extreme is quite commonly enjoyed these days hence the difference in perspectives.

Yes, I can appreciate that people might have different perspectives on what might constitute hardcore and that is largely what my post was about, hence why I commented that the label "hardcore" was vague.

Claribel was arguing that "hardcore" was something different to "normal" !!!!!!, and yet hardcore, by its most common and accepted definitions and certainly by legal definitions in the United Kingdom and United States is pornography that is "explicit" in the sense that it generally involves the depiction of penetration (anal, oral or vaginal), as opposed to softcore which always avoids such images although heavily implies them at times. It can, of course, include content that is more extreme but it certainly doesn't need to involve anything more than two people boinking and it should therefore be understood that just because somebody is watching hardcore pornography, while the opportunity certainly exists for it to be something on the darker or more extreme end of the scale, the use of the word "hardcore" in no way whatsoever informs such a conclusion.

Gavin83

clairibel wrote: »

I think people are missing the point about the OP, her son is watching hardcore stuff, not normal !!!!!! which is fine and part of growing up.

No-one is a prude we have more or less all come into contact with !!!!!!, its the degree of !!!!!! that is the issue and some of it is very nasty on the net and not at all what you would want you 13 year old viewing. In fact i don't understand why anyone views it and why they can't be happy with just normal !!!!!!.

I have a question. You say you don't see why people wish to view hardcore !!!!!! and don't stick to softcore but where in your opinion does it change from soft to hard?

I viewed some fairly hardcore stuff from a young age and if anything I'd say it was a good thing. It satisfied a curiosity and I didn't feel the need to sleep around young. I also manage to hold down a healthy relationship now and I'm not a sexual pervert or anything. I think it more depends on the person, some are just raised or preprogrammed to be violent or sexually aggressive, I question the difference media actually makes to this. After all we had murderers, rapists and sexual deviants long before media even existed in it's current form.

To the OP what kind of 'hardcore' content is your son viewing?

I agree with the poster who said it's the same as putting food in front of a dog and expecting it not to eat, giving a teenager an unblocked Internet connection and expecting him not to view !!!!!! is simply cruel.

jetta_wales

Tropez wrote: »

Yes, I can appreciate that people might have different perspectives on what might constitute hardcore and that is largely what my post was about, hence why I commented that the label "hardcore" was vague.

Claribel was arguing that "hardcore" was something different to "normal" !!!!!!, and yet hardcore, by its most common and accepted definitions and certainly by legal definitions in the United Kingdom and United States is pornography that is "explicit" in the sense that it generally involves the depiction of penetration (anal, oral or vaginal), as opposed to softcore which always avoids such images although heavily implies them at times. It can, of course, include content that is more extreme but it certainly doesn't need to involve anything more than two people boinking and it should therefore be understood that just because somebody is watching hardcore pornography, while the opportunity certainly exists for it to be something on the darker or more extreme end of the scale, the use of the word "hardcore" in no way whatsoever informs such a conclusion.

Sorry if my post was unclear I was just adding to your point not disagreeing with it at all.

I think the OP is just using hardcore to refere to anything more than vanilla (not sure how widely that term used is used but couldn't think of another word for it).

There isn't really much on the net that can be technically classed as soft core that's just a bit of late night channel 5 (Red Shoe Diaries) or these days on Sky it would be the Movies 4 Men channels at night.

It would indeed be interesting to know what the OP actually is referring to as hardcore in this instance.

Tropez

jetta_wales wrote: »

Sorry if my post was unclear I was just adding to your point not disagreeing with it at all.

I think the OP is just using hardcore to refere to anything more than vanilla (not sure how widely that term used is used but couldn't think of another word for it).

There isn't really much on the net that can be technically classed as soft core that's just a bit of late night channel 5 (Red Shoe Diaries) or these days on Sky it would be the Movies 4 Men channels at night.

It would indeed be interesting to know what the OP actually is referring to as hardcore in this instance.

Ah, I understand now, thanks for clarifying.

I think glamour modelling is about as soft as it would get on the Internet. I know TVX and The Adult Channel have online services, and due to restrictions, can only show softcore material on television (although from what I have heard they push "softcore" as far as they can) but I have no idea whether their online content is hardcore or softcore.