Help son looking at websites he shouldnt be

immortalprincess

Hello there.

Before I say anything, can I please please ask the Mods not to move this to the arms. I know its not moneysaving, but, it will get the mickey taken out of this if it is moved, and Im really stressing about it, and looking for advice.

My DS aged 13, has been looking at !!!!!! websites on the computer. Now I know this will probably be normal for teenage boys, but, im really worried about it.

This is the 4th time he has been caught, and of course, being an irrational female, I think hes going to grow into some sort of pervert, and not treat girls properly etc.

it really is hard core stuff hes looking at. I dont know how to deal with this. before, we have taken the computer off him. We have eventually given it back to him with the promise "I will never do it again mum", but of course, this isnt working.
I dont know how to set the security setting on the computer so that he can still watch things like You Tube etc, but just not access these websites.

How should I address this with him? I have even said to him before that if he is trying to access these websites it could affect his computer with all sorts of viruses, and he might even go onto a website that is illegal, ie children, and that me and his dad could get into an awful lot of trouble.

Can anyone advise me on what I should do. My husband is absolutely livid and is going to see my son when he comes home. He has never lifted a finger to him before but he was so angry when I told him, I dont know what he will do when he sees him later.

Thank you

Bettybigboobs

Its !!!!!!.
Are we talking child, animal, abusive stuff. Or are we talking man/woman? He's 13, hormonal, and its probably the latest "craze" at school.

Apricot

Where is the computer? I'd probably move it to a communal area and put a password on it so he can only access it when I was around if I was that concerned.

Tropez

Take the computer and move it to a public area. Tell your son he is only allowed on the computer at specific times and that he can only use the Internet where you can see what he is doing. Disable the computer's Internet connection when it isn't in use and at night. Tell him that is how it stays and if there are any arguments about it then he loses the computer permanently.

kerrypn

Might be better asking in techie regarding the security settings OP.

I wouldnt worry I know its probably really strange that (in your eyes) your little boy is doing this, but it is probably just normal curiosity, and if you manage to get the security settings up and running he wont be able to find these sites.
Id ask DH to have a quiet chat about it, not an angry one though, I really think it is just curiosity.

flippin36

Why don't you ask down at the techie board about how to put a filter on your computer. We have one on ours that is very good and I think it was free ( I'm not technical enough to give you advice so ask those helpful guys on techie).

Oh definitely yes to loosing all rights to private computer time - communal spaces only.

pigpen

Take it out of his room and put it somewhere where you can supervise him.. simple!

I have a second account on my childrens accounts so they need me to put in a password before they can do anything.. inc installing programmes, accessing sites with 13+ rating. There is a lot of software you can download to prevent them accessing inappropriate stuff.

Torry_Quine

Children should never have free access to the internet for this reason if for no other. The computer should be in a family room and he should be supervised. Password protection is essential.

This is an important issue which needs to be handled sensitively in order that he grows up with the correct attitude towards women and sex.

kathy206

Talk to him. He's 13 his hormones are raging and his mates are probably all talking about !!!!!! at school. I would wholeheartedly agree that the computer needs to be in a communal,supervised area and password locked/filtered (no idea how to do that sorry:o) for his own online safety. Good luck

withabix

Help son looking at websites he shouldnt be

Sounds like he's managing fine without any help....:D

(I think you may have missed out some punctuation)

mrsspendalot

I would agree with everyone else who has said you need to a) have the computer somewhere communal and b) get some type of software on that will block access to sites you don't want him looking at.

My eldest is 11, youngest 5 and I have K9 web protection on their computer http://www1.k9webprotection.com/ which was recommended on MSE to me a few years ago. It is completely free. You can set the level of access (mine is on maximum), and block individual sites if needs be. I block facebook etc as my kids are too young to use it. You can also set it so they can't access the internet between certain times of day, so mine is set so they can't go on before 9am or later than 9pm. It barks if they try and access something they shouldn't. If it is an innocent website, you can put a password in to release it. You can log on as the parent and see what they have looked at, and what they have tried to look at but been denied access to. I think it is great.

You can also set Google so you it won't search for certain items (Google Safesearch)

All kids are going to be curious, but there is a lot of stuff out there which they really shouldn't be able to see, and I think they need protecting from it until they are adults.