This affects both of US

Pee

As I think you might have noticed, there are a lot of us in the same boat...

Each month I hope the syptoms of a period are the symptoms of pregnancy and each month they aren't...

It's not really any easier for her, just because it's her body, but I hope you tell her how you are feeling as often I think my boyfriend just isn't as into the whole conception thing as I am... hormones and emotions are such a bad thing and make you feel all illogical. there are lots of good things about being a woman, but that for sure is not one of them.

Bless you and I hope all goes well. It can be very easy, esp for us women, to forget that men feel like this too!

End_of_tether_2

Thanks for all your kind words people. Managed to have a great weekend with the wife, she loved her flowers and we managed to have a good chat through about things whilst we sat on the side of the M27 waiting for the breakdown people to recover our car on which the turbo had just exploded, thank god for 18 month old reliable cars! ha ha ha ha ha
Not the best of places for a picnic but at least we talked some stuff through!
Did another test still saying negative, the wife has spent the last two days being rather sick and uncomfortable. Unrelated.....who knows!

It never rains it only poors!

make_me_wise

Gosh what a rollercoaster ride you are both on in your quest to be parents. Must be awful for you. Unfortunately I guess the doctors etc are unwilling to scan or investigate because the negative pregnancy tests suggest that your wife is suffering heavy irregular periods.

My sil went through something similar when trying to concieve. In the end she went private and had a thorough scan that looked at her womb, ovaries, falopian tubes etc and had blood tests done. Without going into her personal situation, they did discover what had been going on.

I would suggest for peace of mind maybe considering doing something like this. Whatever way you proceed I wish you both lots of luck.

make_me_wise

End_of_tether wrote: »

Maybe a bunch of flowers and a big hug for my darling wife when I get home tonight is in order, we'll keep riding the roller coaster together and at some stage I am sure we will turn the last corner together.

Thanks again

I didn't know whether to mention this in my other post but decided it may give you some hope. My husband and I were trying for a baby for 2 years. We were getting to the stage where we didn't think it would ever happen. Had even begun to think about having tests done and looking into treatment.

We decided to go on holiday and face it all when we got back. I have just discovered I am pregnant. Alot of people say that taking all the stress and worry out of the situation and just relaxing can really help. Easier said than done, trust me I know that all too well.

The only other thing I did differently the month I fell pregnant was to drink a glass of grapefruit juice every morning during my cycle. Hubby drank a glass of tomato juice (ewwww glad it was that way round, cant stand the stuff).

norabatty_2

make_me_wise wrote: »

I didn't know whether to mention this in my other post but decided it may give you some hope. My husband and I were trying for a baby for 2 years. We were getting to the stage where we didn't think it would ever happen. Had even begun to think about having tests done and looking into treatment.

We decided to go on holiday and face it all when we got back. I have just discovered I am pregnant. Alot of people say that taking all the stress and worry out of the situation and just relaxing can really help. Easier said than done, trust me I know that all too well.

The only other thing I did differently the month I fell pregnant was to drink a glass of grapefruit juice every morning during my cycle. Hubby drank a glass of tomato juice (ewwww glad it was that way round, cant stand the stuff).

Ditto! I drank grapefruit juice every morning from just after my period finished until the day of ovulation and I got my big fat positive. I also moved from low fat to full fat dairy and got husband to cut out the alcohol for a week before babymaking. Unfortunately I then miscarried so I'll be back on the grapefruit juice once we decide to give it another go.

You say your wife is charting temps - after she ovulates, if she isn't pregnant, the temps should rise for approx 2 weeks and then go back below the "coverline" when her period is due - did her temps stay high (at least 0.6 degrees Fahrenheit higher than the coverline) when her period didn't turn up for those 2-3 months?

End_of_tether_2

make me wise: thanks for your input. I have been thinking about going private to get her scanned if not to just put her mind at rest as she is very uptight with the lack of help from the NHS. As for grapefruit juice, i might suggest that too her....not sure i will be volunteering to drink tomato juice any time soon though!! I have also heard a lot of people say that when they gave up trying, or took a break from actively trying, that things fell in to place, good luck with your pregnancy.

norabatty; thanks for the info. Sorry to hear of your traoubles.
When we first started trying we were not monitoring temperatures so can not really answer that question, however this time round her temperatures have appeared to be a bit higher than normal after the ovulation peak, although I must admit I was not aware of the relationship between the normal temperature and it being a bit higher, sometimes I feel I can find any pattern I want looking at the temperature charts.
Again I will mention the grapefruit juice.
Thanks ladies.

kathyb1230

Hi end_of_tether
I don't normally post on pregnancy related threads, but I thought I'd give you my tuppence worth for consideration (or not!).
I had mild PCOS symptoms after coming off the pill, had been on it for years and years and decided to give myself a break. I was getting really bad skin, only vaguely regular periods and all manner of stuff that just wasn't quite 'right', so I decided to take myself off to an acupuncturist who specialises in fertility issues.

To cut a long story short, I had been using the ClearBlue fertility monitor to see if I was ovulating (and I wasn't, at least not to start with), and within 3 months of starting acupuncture I was pregnant! To say I was surprised was an understatement, mostly because I wasn't actually trying at that stage, but was doing the acupuncture as a precursor to starting to try for a baby with my new hubby.

I'm not saying that the acupuncture was the one thing that sorted me out, it may not have helped at all, and I can't for one moment begin to explain how having needles stuck in my legs and tummy could have sorted out my ovulation issues, but I honestly belive that it did help. If nothing else, it was fantastic to have 'permission' to just vent and talk with the acupuncturist for a whole hour.....she wasn't going anywhere and I could just talk and talk and get everything off my chest. Happily enough, it also sorted out my skin and mild but ongoing depression, so I was thrilled.

Anyway, not sure if any of this is relevant, let alone helpful, but possibly something else to think about?

Kathy

toriaterrier

Awww you two have been through so much! My Husband and I were trying for 4 1/2 years (We are both only in our early twenties) and I do have a thyroid problem but even once that was sorted we still weren't pregnant. We were living in an awful house and the beginning of this year we decided to get out of there. We found a nice house and concentrating on this meant we didn't have much motivation for ttc and for watching out for ovulation and I am now 14 weeks pregnant. A combination of having a distraction and the relief of living somewhere safe relaxed us and here we are!

Please don't give up hope yet! As another poster said (sorry can't remember who) if there is no luck once you've been trying for a year maybe go talk to your doctor. Good Luck!

maggied_2

Hi End of Tether

I've been where you are (except that I'm a woman!) and it is a horrible place to be. I suffered an ectopic pregnancy just over two years ago and am still not pregnant. I'm starting my IVF injections today in fact!
I've had a gazillion tests and seen various consultants so can pass on some (hopefully) useful info!

1. If, when you thought your wife was pregnant the tests were negative then she probably wasn't. I know some people's results don't show up but the likelihood is that it was just a blip in her cycles.
Also nature is massively cruel in that PMT symptoms are incredibly similar to early PG symptoms. I convinced myself several times - nausea, sore breasts, food tasting weird, upset tummy, fatigue...only for it to be a false alarm.

2. How old are you? (sorry if you've said). If you're over 35 then a doctor will help you once you've been trying for 6 months. If not then it's a year but it won't do any harm to gett he ball rolling. The tests take aaaaaages because you have to wait for different days on your cycle for different tests.

3. Join www.fertilityfriend.com and plot her ovulation - it works it out for you. Once you have established a pattern then stop it! You still need to have a relationship on the other side of this and timed sex is a pretty surefire way of spoiling it. (Advice from my infertility specialist).

4. Once you have ascertained she is ovulating then just have sex every 2-3 days - if it's going to happen it'll happen that way

5. In terms of things you can do (and no disrespect to any of the advice given above - if it works for you then great!) but the ONLY things that specialists will tell you to do are:

A. Don't smoke
B. Cut down on alcohol (more the woman for this one!)
C. Get some regular (but not demented) exercise
D. Ideal BMI between 19 and 30
E. Cut back on caffeine
F. Don't do drugs
G. Try to keep relaxed.
H. Woman to take folic acid.
I. For men - no hot tubs, excessive cycling. Even the whole 'tight pants' thing is in question now.

That's really it. Obviously if it turns out (and hopefully it won't) that there is a problem with either of you then you may get more specific advice but even for IVF the above advice is all the clinic has given.

Also - the whole "stop thinking about it and it'll happen" can ring true but remember - women get pregnant in all sorts of circumstances - famine, war, family breakdown, bereavement, drug users, alcoholics, the obese, the underweight etc etc! You see what I'm getting at. When you want a baby then it's difficult to put to the back of your mind so you don't need the added worry that you're stressing too much! Lots of people get pregnant when they ARE trying

Good luck - I really hope you get your good news soon.

toriaterrier

All of what maggied said is right. I lost nearly a stone in weight before I conceived and I'm still overweight now but I know it will have helped.

Huge hugs maggied, hope the ivf is successful xx