advice re:messy house with kids

gratefulforhelp_2

he sounds like a controlling [EMAIL="tw@t"]!!!!!![/EMAIL]. def dont let him in the house again. x

consultant31

If he can wind you up like this and potentially spoil your weekend, why not change your mobile number so that he can't text any more.

Peanuckle

I had a social worker at my house when the rabble were little, she was there to discuss various bits of support they were offering while my husband (at the time) was sectioned. I remember apologising for the mess and her reaction was "If the house was immaculate with 3 toddlers in it then I would be worried, there should be evidence of children being children somewhere in a house in my opinion" Best comment I've ever heard!

sooty&sweep

Hi

I think you should let him have the kids to stay with him for a few days.

He will very quickly realise that kids = lots of mess and tidying up after them is like painting the Seven Bridge. No matter how much you do there will be more.

As long as the house is fairly clean, safe and kids well fed thats what matters. Better to spend time playing with them rather than constantly trying to tidying up after them.

Jen

Zoetoes

Peanuckle wrote: »

I had a social worker at my house when the rabble were little, she was there to discuss various bits of support they were offering while my husband (at the time) was sectioned. I remember apologising for the mess and her reaction was "If the house was immaculate with 3 toddlers in it then I would be worried, there should be evidence of children being children somewhere in a house in my opinion" Best comment I've ever heard!

There is lots of evidence here! :eek:

GobbledyGook

Peanuckle wrote: »

I had a social worker at my house when the rabble were little, she was there to discuss various bits of support they were offering while my husband (at the time) was sectioned. I remember apologising for the mess and her reaction was "If the house was immaculate with 3 toddlers in it then I would be worried, there should be evidence of children being children somewhere in a house in my opinion" Best comment I've ever heard!

Totally agree with this.

My parents had friends when I was very young whose house was immaculate to the extremes. They had a child, but there was no toys anywhere except for 1 toy at a time on the table (no toys with lots of bits were allowed), no paper & craft stuff - nothing. Their poor child had a horrible life. He was like a little adult from about 3 years old and he could sit for hours and hours on the sofa whilst adults talked/laughed etc without a sound. No books or colourings.

Right now my house is a riot. There's toys everywhere. There is a half built/half fallen down "den" made from blankets and sheets in my dining room and my youngest daughter is in bed asleep in a Princess costume rather than jamas. As long as a home is hygienic (and I don't mean stinks to the high heavens with bleach either!), safe and children are happy that is what counts. It's a home, not a show house!

bonjovibel_729

just a little update my sons father was supposed to being him back tonight and he has now informed me he is not bringing him back til friday as he has a week off work...and that he might not even bring him back at all as he has severe concerns about the welfare of his son after talkin to my daughters father...not really sure what i can do now my solicitor is off until the 9th may when i have an appt with him....i know for a fact my son wont be coming back as he has been taken to glos where his dads parents live.....

am really struggling having them both effectively gang up on me i thought i was gettin on better with my girls dad obv i was wrong.....

if they both think im uselss maybe i am??

happy35

you are not useless, dont let their behaviour drag you down.

ring the solicitor on Tuesday and speak to one of her colleagues and get some advice after fully explaining the situation.

I am no expert but I dont think a dad can just take children for a visit and then decide not the bring them back. I am sure that someone will come along who are a bit more in the know about these situations

pigpen

I'd demand he was back tomorrow or tuesday at the latest and see the solicitor ASAP on Tuesday as an emergency appointment.. they are very used to this kind of thing. I'd probably gather a couple of relatives/friends for backup and go to collect my son.. Cheeky f-ker! I'd have the police round as well.. Do you have a residency order for your son or just for the girls?

My house is a skip.. toys and clothes everywhere.. there simply aren't enough hours in the day. I do however stand in a room and tell the children which bits to pick up.. there is no reason why a 3 y/o shouldn't help and the older 2 should def be responsible for their own mess.. get 2 boxes and throw their stuff in from around the house.. give them a time limit to remove the suff they want from it and put it away at the end of that time.. anything in the box gets binned!! You can make a game of it for the 3 y/o 'help mummy pick up this stuff' I have my 2y/o grandson emptying and loading the washer, sweeping, putting things in the bin, picking up toys, tidying shoes etc.. he loves it.

bonjovibel_729

pigpen wrote: »

I'd demand he was back tomorrow or tuesday at the latest and see the solicitor ASAP on Tuesday as an emergency appointment.. they are very used to this kind of thing. I'd probably gather a couple of relatives/friends for backup and go to collect my son.. Cheeky f-ker! I'd have the police round as well.. Do you have a residency order for your son or just for the girls?

My house is a skip.. toys and clothes everywhere.. there simply aren't enough hours in the day. I do however stand in a room and tell the children which bits to pick up.. there is no reason why a 3 y/o shouldn't help and the older 2 should def be responsible for their own mess.. get 2 boxes and throw their stuff in from around the house.. give them a time limit to remove the suff they want from it and put it away at the end of that time.. anything in the box gets binned!! You can make a game of it for the 3 y/o 'help mummy pick up this stuff' I have my 2y/o grandson emptying and loading the washer, sweeping, putting things in the bin, picking up toys, tidying shoes etc.. he loves it.

hi there i dont want to upset my son by going to his parents house to get him as his whole family will be there and i know he wont let my son go without a fight...i always move the kids stuff at the end of the week usually and tell them whatever is not in their bedrooms will be in the bin so gr8 minds think alike lol........am just finding things really hard at the moment....never in a million yrs did i think i wud be feeling like this..or this would be happening