advice re:messy house with kids

easilydistracted

My house sounds messier than yours and I'm a children and families social worker if that's any consolation. From your description (and of course that's your perspective), if he calls social services and tells them what he saw I doubt anyone would come round. If he exaggerates wildly then you may get a visit which I wouldn't think would be taken any further. What we look for is that there is room for children to move around and play and that the home is hygienic.

bonjovibel_729

lookingforsun wrote: »

He could be talking to the 3yr old's dad, does he come over at all? I would be inclined to just ignore him. Though make sure the 3yr old's room is as tidy as possible (and I know it's hard, my 10 month old has toys everywhere). Make sure there is a clear walkway through each room & NO toys on the stairs/landing/hall. That way, even if there is a bit of clutter, there are no tripping hazards.

The key thing is to be relaxed. A stressed mum, who's running after her kids, picking up every thrown car, will look less able to cope - and that is the thing, you can and are coping. You're not ignoring chores, because you're not coping, or couldn't care less, you've just got a house where kids live, and enjoy themselves, and can play happily.

Are you having dealings with Cafcass?

hi thanks yes the last time we went to court for custody of my son we had mediation with cafcass which went nowhere fast as he refused to budge....my 3 yr olds room is always tidy as there is only enough room in there for a bed and his wardrobe so he plays downstairs which is why there are always toys everywhere...

tbh sometimes i wonder if i can cope have recently been to the doctors and been prescribed somethin to help me cope better maybe hes right maybe im not coping...just feel like the whole world is against me lately...

Nimeth

Cheeky little b*gger! I don't have kids and my house isn't the tidiest, I've got stuff on the floor, books lying around, though I vacuum weekly and do the dishes everyday.

Kids will leave toys lying around, as long as they are happy and cared for I don't see why your ex should be making a big deal out of it.

bonjovibel_729

easilydistracted wrote: »

My house sounds messier than yours and I'm a children and families social worker if that's any consolation. From your description (and of course that's your perspective), if he calls social services and tells them what he saw I doubt anyone would come round. If he exaggerates wildly then you may get a visit which I wouldn't think would be taken any further. What we look for is that there is room for children to move around and play and that the home is hygienic.[/QUOTE

hiya yes there is always room for htem to move around the youngest has most of his toys downstairs which is why it looks so messy most of the time plus my teenage daughter has a desk in the corner of the room which is always piled highwith books and papers...but they kitchen is always spotless as is the dining room...its just when u hear someone else say it it makes you wonder if they are right]

easilydistracted

bonjovibel_729 wrote: »

easilydistracted wrote: »

My house sounds messier than yours and I'm a children and families social worker if that's any consolation. From your description (and of course that's your perspective), if he calls social services and tells them what he saw I doubt anyone would come round. If he exaggerates wildly then you may get a visit which I wouldn't think would be taken any further. What we look for is that there is room for children to move around and play and that the home is hygienic.[/QUOTE

hiya yes there is always room for htem to move around the youngest has most of his toys downstairs which is why it looks so messy most of the time plus my teenage daughter has a desk in the corner of the room which is always piled highwith books and papers...but they kitchen is always spotless as is the dining room...its just when u hear someone else say it it makes you wonder if they are right]

I really wouldn't worry about it if you can help it, I also wouldn't let the idiot use your loo again either!

meritaten

I really wouldnt worry hun! if its just general clutter and your home is basically clean and the children are not malnourished, dirty, neglected or otherwise obviously abused - then the SS will put it down to a malicious call! happened to my son and his partner but it was the elderly neighbours being malicious as they didnt like them.

mountainofdebt

Haha - if your ex wants to see an untidy house then tell him to come to mine.

Carp everywhere, dust is probably an inch thick and least said about the bathroom the better.

But everyone is welcome here any time of the day or night ...so long as you don't mind the mess!

bonjovibel_729

mountainofdebt wrote: »

Haha - if your ex wants to see an untidy house then tell him to come to mine.

Carp everywhere, dust is probably an inch thick and least said about the bathroom the better.

But everyone is welcome here any time of the day or night ...so long as you don't mind the mess!

thanks i feel a bit better now tho he is threatening me by text now sayin i shud use the weekend without the kids to tidy my house and garden as it is dangerous for the kids:mad: i hope he does phone the ss now and they will see my house is far from dangerous

RAS

I suggest that you keep the text as you may need this.

Sounds like he may kick off.

Zoetoes

bonjovibel_729 wrote: »

thanks i feel a bit better now tho he is threatening me by text now sayin i shud use the weekend without the kids to tidy my house and garden as it is dangerous for the kids:mad: i hope he does phone the ss now and they will see my house is far from dangerous

T!t! Does he not realise that he's making things awkward for him to come into the house? Does he think it's nice for the kids having social services check up on their home and look in their rooms?

Don't let the [EMAIL="w@nker"]w@nker[/EMAIL] in the house again!