lionheartedgirl promises to let it shine :)

lionheartedgirl

Bit of a bleurghh mehhh day today - but had a good night last night, went to zumba and saw some friendly faces, and then had a good hour's harp practice last night - the first in far too long.

Very, very weepy at the moment as things come to the surface and hoping this is largely related to the time of year as much as anything else. I'm seeing my counsellor next week so should be good.

Work is quite busy with lots of interesting things to do - if the momentum/interest level keeps up then I would be happier to stay put - and the dog will help this I think, as the 2 days from home will really make having him even better.

Money update - total debt is at £24,308. Once minimum payments go off at the end of the month it will be just under £24k. Various harp bits make up over half the balance of this, a car accounts for some of it, so the rest isn't toooo bad. But debt it is, no matter how much I dress it up.

I can't overpay much at the moment (meant to be using the money saved from the loan) as I need the extra to pay the balance on my windows which will be coming soon.

I am probably going to have to add a little to the cards again when I get the other bits on the house done - but it's worth it to me and it really, really needs doing.

Frankly the only way I am going to get out of debt in the near future is to sell the house - but still so torn on this. In lots of ways it would be very freeing (especially being at the chap's on Sunday - he rents a studio flat in town and moved in with literally himself, his clothes and a microwave (!) and I was wondering how on earth I had managed to fill a large detached house with so much stuff, and how much of it I actually needed!)

Off for a butty and to get on with some work

lionheartedgirl

afternoon all had a good morning at work and got lots done, and will be a busy one this afternoon too.

Still mulling everything over at a rate of knots, but my singer friend came round for a rehearsal last night and it was lovely to see her. She is struggling too, she was trying to hide it but it couldn't be hidden so we had a good old yarn about what was bugging us. We talked lots about life, and how life affects musical stuff etc, and we talked LOADS about the harp and what place it has in my life. We didn't get much rehearsing done, but it was great anyway. We have a pub gig coming up in January which will be a great deadline for us both to get some new stuff worked up and learnt and under our belts.

I'm thinking I need to be a bit more focused on the money saving - not that I'm not doing it, but I forget how much I'm doing and this is meant to be a debt free diary after all, not just a feelings/sorting one's life out diary Hopefully if I can stay in control on the money front, it will spill into other areas of life.

Payday is next week. After all bills etc, I am left with £100 for food, £250 for diesel and £150 for spends.

The spends money covers (or should cover!):

counselling (£30 per month)
haircut and colour (£80 every other month)
clothes/make-up/skincare
presents
going out

I've spent £60 so far on the c.card for Xmas presents and a couple of skincare bits, so need to pay this off the card this month, and means I will be very tight for the month. I may put a couple of bits on the c.card again - basically I haven't budgeted for Christmas at all, but will be spending minimally because I only have to buy for my niece, nephew, brother, sister-in-law, parents and my gran. Niece and nephew are bought for - £5-6 each max. Mum and dad will be a tenner each, brother and sister-in-law I may speak to as I know they are struggling so as long as the kids have something I'm not bothered if I/they don't. Gran will be a tenner max too.

Teaching income is all going into the house update fund at the moment but this is growing nicely - and if I hadn't started the new account a few weeks ago, I wouldn't have the visibility of it that I do now, and it probably would have got swallowed up elsewhere

This week has been very low spend apart from food and diesel - bought a sandwich on Monday as I wasn't organised enough to make lunch but that's it. Tomorrow is the work xmas party, we are lucky and everything is paid for. I need to give £10 to one of my colleagues as she got me a programme from the Valencia MotoGP, but that's all. And then I'm teaching on Sunday so apart from being prepared and taking my lunch and not stopping at petrol stations for nibbles, I should be OK.

Back to work

lionheartedgirl

Morning all,

took an extra £30 out of the bank on Saturday night but went out with one of my friends - the one I spent new year with, and who I had been wondering whether there was more than just friendship going on. We talked on Saturday night and there is for him, but it became clear that there is definitely not for me. It was a bit awkward but I am glad I know how I feel now. Hopefully we can stay in touch and still be good friends. We had a good night, there was a band on in a bar I really like, but we missed the last train home hence the cashpoint trip - he had paid for dinner so I sorted the cab fare. It was worth it though, a good night.

Teaching yesterday was nearly disastrous but it was rescued thanks to someone else's quick thinking, and it reinforced that it's not something long term for me. Next weekend will be the last one.

Went to see the new doggy on Saturday, had my home check in the morning and that's all sorted, so we agreed dates and he will come home on 22nd December - so my Christmas plans are already looking a million times better than they were. Normally I love Christmas, but suddenly last week I realised that unless I do something drastic and make some plans with others, I will be spending the majority of it alone. This has been good in previous years, but I am not cool with it this year. At least I will have four-legged company now.

Haven't heard back from the guy from the party but this is no great surprise and while it's a blow to the ego, if he is not that keen I don't want to further flatten the ego by chasing and making myself feel worse.

Lovely mechanic replaced my headlight bulb on Thursday, oh my goodness things were sizzling and he really is divine. I've liked him for ages and am really hoping something will happen. I don't think my delicate ego is up to another rejection at the mo, so have decided not to push things, Iwill just bide my time, try and look nice if I am likely to see him, and hope for the best

Busy day at work today so am off to get some tea and get my head down.

Souk08

Take care honey and ace news about the dog.

The man...here's a way of thinking about it. A few weeks ago you didn't know him and you were fine and in a few weeks you'll not be bothered and you'll be fine...so why put yourself through loads of heartache now. He's not going to be a big part of your life, but that's okay.

XXX

dirtyepic

Hi lhg, just a fleeting visit to show my face around the door, say a cheeky 'hi, I hope you're well' and shoot back out again after just realising the blummin time!!!
Girlwiththesuninherhead
X

lionheartedgirl

afternoon all - just a quick one today (she says!)

feels like things are coming together this week at last - I think the pooch situation has given me the focus I needed to get on and sort lots of things out, certainly house wise. lovely mechanic gave me an electrician's number and that has helped things along - just waiting for plasterer to confirm dates now. the damp problem is being fixed next week. the windows are on their way.

So my thoughts have been turning to nesting as once plastered, I will need to paint and co-ordinate furnishings etc and change layouts. A renewed focus on the debt situation is making me quite creative, and I am now looking at painting my stairs to see me through until I can get them replaced.

I have a BT I need to do for £6k - silly me missed an offer by 2 days :mad: so need to do some shuffling and am re-contemplating the loan situation.

My head feels like it's coming together too - daily tarot readings are proving really enlightening so I'm chuffed about that. I had a particularly good one on Monday morning about being more intuitive and not reacting so much - really made me think.

I'm using a very posh Emma Bridgewater weekly Things To Do list (purchased on xmas shopping night a couple of weeks ago) which has lovely stars all over - it's just a plain A5 page with boxes for the days of the week, and a little 'Completed' box to tick

This has been a great focus, I'm being careful not to put too many things in each day, so this is making me prioritise. I am already hating bumping things to the next day, so it seems to be working :cool: as I am ticking lots of things off!

Decluttering mission is set to max at the mo as I need to clear stuff out for the electrician ready for when he comes on Saturday. No excuses, a couple of rooms have to all be clear and empty and I am blowed if I am just moving all the junk around for another day!

I have a renewed focus on work too, have cut my internet out altogether except at lunchtime. This is MASSIVE for me. I am so easily distracted it's untrue and this has to stop. It's paying off, I'm enjoying work a bit more and am getting stuck into some good stuff.

Pay day yesterday, first day of the month today so I need to sort pennies out etc. I have Brownies tonight but after that (and some harp practice ahead of Saturday's wedding), I will get the pad out and do all my transfers/payments to various places.

Oh... and lovely mechanic is posting the odd bit on my FB page. It's only little comments but really lifted me yesterday - I'm hoping Santa will decide something nice will come my way on that front for Christmas But if it doesn't, things are good in other areas at last and I am really happy with that.

So much for a quick update....

lionheartedgirl

I knew it had been a while but can't believe it's nearly been a week - things have been very hectic.

Saturday's wedding was really lovely, second time round for both and the bride's dress was STUNNING. I would say she was mid to late 40s, but it was very different from the norm and so beautiful. I got a nice tip and a big cuddle from the bride, and lots of thank yous. Just 15 guests in a gorgeous venue, and they had chosen some really nice music too. I wish all the weddings I did were like that!

Sunday - teaching in Cambridge is all done now. The right decision!

The electrician came on Saturday, a friend of the lovely mechanic, and all the sockets are done ready for the plasterer who is starting on Friday. The damp is being fixed on Thursday. not heard from the windows people yet but will chase them this week.

I hoped that everything would all be done before the dog/s come/s, but really felt it was asking too much. Looks like it will all be finished and ready for me to paint by next Wednesday :eek: So I will have 3 big rooms to do :eek: :eek:, plus sorting my stairs out.

To be honest, I am loving the challenge and really getting stuck in I think it's been just what was needed. Last night I cut out some cardboard and planned room layouts on some squared paper, and I think I have chosen my colourschemes.

It's not going to be cheap, but it will be done on a very MSE basis (without skimping on important TO ME stuff) and it is going to look AMAZING! I am so excited, and can't believe how much more connected I am feeling to my home already.

It feels like since I decided to have the dog/s, things have fallen into place. My mind is occupied, I am doing better at work, I am achieving far more than I have done in recent months and feel like I am back on track. I don't want to get burnt out of course, but I really feel like I have bags more energy which is enabling me to fit everything in.

Money is tight, but I am much more focused on how to make best use of it than I have been in a long, long time. Spending money on the house means I am not clearing debt as quickly as I could in the short term, but this is my decision and I am happy with it. I am not increasing my debt by doing it, and most of it is essential as that area of the house is in such a state.

I am starting to feel a new diary brewing! Hypno's new diary has inspired me, and I have kept in my heart her cupboard analogy of having to pull everything out, make more of a mess in the short term, and then put things back in the right order (and potentially then realising the order isn't quite right, but then there will be less crap in there to reorganise the next time round ).

Central to the increased efficiency has been the marvellous To Do list - The best £4.80 I have spent in a LONG time!

hope everyone is well, might be quiet for a while but will be back soon

redsquirrel80

Lovely to hear you sounding like you're looking forward to lots of things - really pleased for you

hypno06

Wow, what a lovely positive post - brimming with energy!!

LittleBoots

Lovely post