Teenage (unplanned) pregnancy

jennyjelly

What a lovely happy ending! He's obviously a decent lad, but it's nice that they are staying together because they love each other, not just for the baby (that rarely works in the long term). I'm so pleased your daughter doesn't have to sacrifice either one to keep the other as you feared she would have to.

They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and I wouldn't be surprised if this baby is the making of them as people and as a couple.

I'm so happy for you all!

Turtle

Well this sounds like great news taxi36, I hope this continues to be the case and that the bf's parents start coming round to the idea as well. I imagine it's very difficult at that age to stand up to your parents if they think he's doing the wrong thing. Anyway, I don't mean to put a downer on the situation, it's amazing how things have changed in such a short time

Errata

If they're desparetely in love, both want the baby, why can't they live together as a family in rented accommodation? Wouldn't that be the best outcome for the three of them?

Hard_up,_not_happy

jennyjelly wrote: »

Don't forget the BF doesn't have hormones to make him want the baby immediately like a girl does (I remember that from the moment I knew I was pregnant I would have killed to protect my baby).

This is so true. I think it is very different for blokes. My pregnancy didn't seem real to my hubby till we had the first scan.

taxi36 wrote: »

So , anyway , she is home now and tells me that they have decided that they both want what is best for their baby and they both agree that they love each other more now than they did before the pregnancy news (trust me , these 2 were SOOOOOOO in love , they were inseperable )

The bf has decided that he cannot walk away from his baby or from my Daughter and has told her that he is afraid I wont hold this against him as I WAS that scared teenager before remember!) and he is terrified of "doing something wrong" were the baby is concerned and again , I remember this feeling well.

Im welling up again. This thread should have a warning of not to enter if wearing mascara. Bless their hearts. They are so young and yet both of them are handling this so well. I wish them all the luck in the world.

taxi36

Erratta - the ideal outcome would be for all 3 to live together under one roof but tbh I just cannot see this happening in the near future.

Even if they rented a 2 bedroom flat from the housing executive the rent would be £60 AT LEAST per week and then there is the gas , electricity , food , tv licence , other household essential etc on top of clothes for the baby , powdered milk , nappies and all the other necessary bits and bobs a baby needs.

This would just be out of their price range remember that the father does not work. He too is still in full time education.

After some sums it would seem that my Daughter , once she returns to her part time job will be entitled to wtc and ctc of approx £120 per week. Then she will have £20 family allowance and then her wages of around £80. I just dont think that they would have much of a life......

In the next year or 2 Im sure they will reavaluate the situation though and as soon as is humanly possible they will apply for a palce together.

Errata

Housing benefit, council tax benefit, other benefits that you've mentioned will all add up as will a PT job for the father. You've continually stressed your support for your daughter so there's no reason why you can't pay for the 'bits and bobs' that a baby needs.
You don't think they will have much of a life, but they may do.

taxi36

Errata wrote: »

Housing benefit, council tax benefit, other benefits that you've mentioned will all add up as will a PT job for the father. You've continually stressed your support for your daughter so there's no reason why you can't pay for the 'bits and bobs' that a baby needs.
You don't think they will have much of a life, but they may do.

My Daughter wouldnt receive housing benefit as she works.

As we are in Northern Ireland there is no council tax benefit.

meritaten

I think its very brave of this young man, considering how his parents reacted. you may well have a lodger in the near future! I do hope they have a future together - as my oldest son - the one who planned his baby has just turned up on my doorstep with his stuff and asked to stay here! I know his partner finds him hard work - but he is a good lad, a good provider and adores his son - apparently his only fault is his metal detecting hobby!

Errata

taxi36 wrote: »

My Daughter wouldnt receive housing benefit as she works.

As we are in Northern Ireland there is no council tax benefit.

The claim for housing benefit and rate relief would be for the family -mum, dad, baby - not just for your daughter.

keava

Congrats to you all!!
I had my first baby last dec!
There are some fab forums - baby and bump is one - loads of preg related info!
MSE is great for money saving tips.
You and your wife have been outstanding during this difficult time!
I think you should print out or save this thread to keep and maybe look back on? It might be nice to read over the happier parts later when life settles down again.
K