Pressure from 'Friends' and people you know
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Thanks you, and everyone else in this thread for the kind words and advice. I have an anxiety problem which makes it really difficult for me to express these concerns to people I know so it's been really great to get some 'anonymous' support.
I was struggling to figure out if it was acceptable for friends to go on like this and if it's kind of 'just the way it is' but quite clearly a lot of people have found themselves under the same kind of pressure.
While this topic may not seem like it's a massive problem it still puts considerable pressure on us and feels like we are living someone elses idea of live at times.
Well you have all given me a lot to think about and as I'm off for the next week for Easter I plan to spend it trying to figure out the best plan for this new situation and try to support my OH, she will be in from work soon so I'm gonna try and make her feel at ease about all of this.
Enjoy Easter and the royal wedding everyone!
:T
Oh my flipping god! You poor people - you are obviously trying but fighting a rear guard action against your friends.
I hate to say this but if you are serious you may have to consider this:
1. Explain to you friends your situation, say that your priorities in life have changed and that although you want to spend time with them this has to be done without constant cost. That you don't want to spend 30 years paying back 10 years of 'fun'.
2. If they don't understand then look around for new friends...:(
I hope to read better news as I work through this thread, but I have to say that this post horrified me!
Again. I say WHAT????:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:
I agree that that above is a likely scenario. But I find it tragic - they will wake up one day and realise how badly this has affected their lives. I think it's awful...:(
I'm sorry to hear about the job but these are bumps on the road of life and you are in a much better position to deal with this because of your sensible attitude. Well done you and Happy Easter!
:easter:
There's nothing wrong with your mates they've just got different priorities to you at the moment.
I think it takes a switched on cookie to realize if you ain't got a decent roof over your head everything else life throws at you is just that little bit easier to deal with.
Just carry on doing what that little sensible voice in your head is telling you to do you'll be the ones going away on holiday 4 times a year in the end when everyone else can barely afford a trip to Butlins!
I guess the op's free-spending friends use plastic to finance their life-styles. The only problem with using CC's/Debit cards is that you have no attachment to the cash you are spending. If you actually had the money sitting in your hand, you would think "that's a lot of money, can I really afford it?".
My lbm came when, at the age of 41, the company I had worked-for for over 16 years relocated to France. It made me realise that I really had to do something to stem my outgoings.
It took nearly a year to get back into employment. The one good thing to come out of being made redundant, had my employers not moved, I would not have registered my cv with a load of agencies. In turn, I would not have been offered an interview with the company I now work for and instead of earning a good salary, I would be stuck on £7.49 p/h and wondering if I would be able to afford birthdays and Christmases.
My aims for the near-future are now to get through my cataract op on Thursday (with Friday being a B/H, I will only loose 1 days pay), and then get to the end of September and move from 'agency' to permanent employee.
Member #1 of £1,000 challenge - £13.74/ £1000 (that's 1.374%)
3-6 month EF £0/£3600 (that's 0 days worth)
What is an acceptable amount of money to give someone, people at work are saying £50-100, but christ we cannot afford £250 in one month for a person's wedding, I don't even know this girl very well... bearing in mind, any money we spend at this point will send us into our overdrafts.
Hate being made to feel like this over stupid things like gifts, almost wish we had waited a few more years to move out....
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