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Pressure from 'Friends' and people you know

edited 19 April 2011 at 5:34PM in Debt-Free Wannabe
116 replies 19.1K views
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  • Hi

    Just wanted to post, as I tackled this very problem yesterday. Although I didn't need to disclose my financial position, I did this and explained why I couldn't come to the hen do, after they asked had I changed my mind. I explained that this year is a very important year for OH and I, in that we are finally going to become debt free, and that while I was gutted that I could not come, I appreciated their invitation and for thinking of me. It is tough, but we all have different priorities. This particular group of friends are very much, 'spend for today', they don't own a car, so don't have that expense, and all their cash goes on trips to the pub, dvd's and there are social occasions pretty much every day. Nothing wrong with that, but OH and I have very different money priorities now.

    We don't earn very high salaries, but we want to spend the year laying the foundations for our future, we want to buy a house, get married and have a family and all these things we would like to take place in the next 5 years. We also want to turn ourselves round financially and start having , not just the cash to pay for something, but specific money pots for things like a car, if our banger breaks down and is beyond repair, and to have savings that are not touched. It's a pretty tall order, and yes you feel really pressured every time you say yet again 'sorry I can't come out', but if they are your true friends, then they will understand.

    With another group of my friends I did a 'come dine with me' evening. Every three months or so the next person takes their turn. I did them a goody bag of freebie bath and fragrance samples I got by emailing, and being very cheeky at fragrance and toiletry counters, and they loved it. The whole evening cost me £5 for 4 people, and it was better than any night spent in a restaurant or pub.

    Stick with it. You know what you're doing is right for you and your OH. By being sensible now, you are ensuring that you will have pots of cash in the future to go back to dining out with friends. I'm sure they'll understand or have their lightbulb moment soon.

    x


    M&S £2878.22/ Natwest £3526/ Loan £405/ [STRIKE]Sofa £0[/STRIKE]/ [STRIKE]Ring £0[/STRIKE]/
    Savings £12.04
    NSD 3/10 :cool:
    Total £6915.88







  • quanticquantic Forumite
    1K posts
    Oh dear.. I wanted to get our finances in order incase anything happened, like redundancies, to ensure that everything would be okay should one of us lose our job and this morning our worst fears have materialised. My OH's company has just gone into administration, and she has only been there 6 months...
  • Firstly don't panic even though this will surely be your first response.

    I think you need to be pragmatic and fill in the SoA as accurately as possible. From that you can assess your situation more clearly. For example, you may find you can live off your income alone if you cut back all of the non-essentials completely. This obviously won't be enjoyable but if times are tough might be enough to see you through.

    You should from this also be able to get a rough idea of how long you could survive without your OH's income.

    How much notice have you had?

    Feel free obviously to post your SoA...you'd have lots of people willing to help and advise on how you could cut back.
  • edited 21 April 2011 at 12:52PM
    quanticquantic Forumite
    1K posts
    edited 21 April 2011 at 12:52PM
    I think we will be OK, just need to be even tighter with money. Maybe our friends will believe that we are skint now...

    I should mention, that over the past 9 months we have been paying back £6,900 in Credit Card debt and about £2,000 in OD. The reason for posting in the section was because we want to avoid going back here, especially now.

    Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

    Household Information

    Number of adults in household........... 2
    Number of children in household.........
    Number of cars owned....................

    Monthly Income Details

    Monthly income after tax................ 1550
    Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
    Benefits................................ 0
    Other income............................ 0
    Total monthly income.................... 1550


    Monthly Expense Details

    Mortgage................................ 478
    Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 199
    Rent.................................... 0
    Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
    Council tax............................. 89
    Electricity............................. 35
    Gas..................................... 25
    Oil..................................... 0
    Water rates............................. 10
    Telephone (land line)................... 11
    Mobile phone............................ 20
    TV Licence.............................. 29
    Satellite/Cable TV...................... 15
    Internet Services....................... 15
    Groceries etc. ......................... 200
    Clothing................................ 0
    Petrol/diesel........................... 200
    Road tax................................ 20
    Car Insurance........................... 0
    Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
    Car parking............................. 0
    Other travel............................ 0
    Childcare/nursery....................... 0
    Other child related expenses............ 0
    Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
    Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
    Buildings insurance..................... 11
    Contents insurance...................... 11
    Life assurance ......................... 0
    Other insurance......................... 0
    Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
    Haircuts................................ 20
    Entertainment........................... 0
    Holiday................................. 0
    Emergency fund.......................... 0
    Total monthly expenses.................. 1388



    Assets

    Cash.................................... 0
    House value (Gross)..................... 120000
    Shares and bonds........................ 0
    Car(s).................................. 14000
    Other assets............................ 3000
    Total Assets............................ 137000



    Secured & HP Debts

    Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
    Mortgage...................... 96000....(478)......0
    Hire Purchase (HP) debt ...... 5700.....(199)......0
    Total secured & HP debts...... 101700....-.........-


    Unsecured Debts
    Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
    Total unsecured debts..........0.........0.........-



    Monthly Budget Summary

    Total monthly income.................... 1,550
    Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,388
    Available for debt repayments........... 162
    Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 0
    Amount left after debt repayments....... 162


    Personal Balance Sheet Summary
    Total assets (things you own)........... 137,000
    Total HP & Secured debt................. -101,700
    Total Unsecured debt.................... -0
    Net Assets.............................. 35,300


    Created using the SOA calculator at https://www.makesenseofcards.com.
    Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.
  • RASRAS Forumite
    28.7K posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts
    ✭✭✭✭✭
    More importantly, a company in administration may be bought out. Hang tight but start looking for alternative work?
    The person who has not made a mistake, has made nothing
  • Important update! We have recently reviewed and updated our Forum Rules and FAQs. Please take the time to familiarise yourself with the latest version.
  • RASRAS Forumite
    28.7K posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts
    ✭✭✭✭✭
    That Tv licence fee should go down to £12 shortly?
    The person who has not made a mistake, has made nothing
  • quanticquantic Forumite
    1K posts
    Yeah, there is a possibility that they will be bought out. Last week they had 'investors' visiting, but today my OH has learned that they where actually administrators but the management had lied to everyone. Not ideal really... I think we will be okay, just so glad our outgoings have become more manageable due to debt reduction over the past few months!
  • quanticquantic Forumite
    1K posts
    RAS wrote: »
    That Tv licence fee should go down to £12 shortly?

    Yeah hopefully, I was slightly confused as to why it was £29!!
  • Your SoA looks good and you can obviously manage on one income so that must be reassuring.

    Also goes to show the importance to managing one's finances well so that when this sort of thing happens it isn't the end of the world!

    Good luck to your OH with current company or finding a new job if necessary.
  • Hi Quantic, I've read this thread with interest and on the original topic I'd simply say your OH's friends sound like they are more interested in 'what' they are doing rather than 'who' they are doing it with. If they can't/won't understand that you can't afford or don't want to waste your money on certain things then they are probably not the greatest of friends. We have a circle of friends all with different disposable income levels and it's never an issue. We decide first that we are going to do something and then decide what to do based on what everyone can afford.

    Anyway, sorry to hear that your OH may be made redundant, however it is good that it looks like you can manage on the one salary. If nothing else, this totally vindicates your stance with your friends and shows that you were right to focus on paying down your debts while you could afford it. Good luck with it all and stay positive.
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