Pressure from 'Friends' and people you know
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I feel your pain somewhat. I can't remember the last time I was able to treat myself (at all, much less on a whim). Yet the OH always seems to be the one with something new despite her income being less than half of mine.
Bo Jackson
I console myself with the fact that my sacrifices are creating a stable and secure future for us and our daughter. In time we'll be DF and I'll have some disposable income of my own.:T
The comment about the big flash wedding was more related to your OH's friends. They will regret it sooner or later.
I know what you mean. I am desperately looking forward to the day I get paid and have the full amount show as a positive balance.
I don't want recognition for helping her out financially but most of the time she gets stressed about having to put things on her CC or use her overdraft, but the likely hood is that in the end I will be the one who pays it off. One of her friends actually had the cheek to question how much she contributes towards the house, because I think she thought the reason she was skint was because she was paying to much towards things and I was taking her for a ride. Felt like the ultimate slap in the face, given that I have put up the money for all of our house deposit, fee's, furniture etc.
I'm just so sick of never seeing any of my wage, it will be a good 4 years now that I've been skint, went straight into rented accommodation from Uni in my first job on a very low wage then moved back home and saved up for a house deposit, so feels like I have yet to enjoy any of my wage. I know I should be thankful for what I have and I am, but sometimes just feels like its never ending. I don't mind so much when an unexpected bill comes along, but coupled with really extravagant spending it becomes unmanageable.
I guess the bright side of all this is that I have become very accustomed to spending very little of my wage on myself and making do a lot of the time, so if a day does come where I actually have some money to spare then it will feel amazing.
Another thing that probably doesn't help is the fact that I hate my current job but as the job I want is lower paid I am sort of trapped, until we get past this back and forth with debt and expenses I can't really make a change.
We then have a separate account for all the bills and transfer the amount needed each month from the joint account.
We find it so much easier to budget as it's all in the one place and you know you can't have a blow out because it impacts your partner.
We did always plan on setting up an account each with money to do what ever we want with each month but never quite got there!
That way, if the money isn't available to spend, then we have to say no. End of story.
Also, I have started to absolutely hate how having no money due to previous spending makes you look forward to the end of the month, every month - I do not want to live like that! Lifes too short to look forward to the next pay cheque soon as you've received the last one!
Just spoke to my best friend (she's like a sister to me - one year older known her since I was 4) and she's married, 2 kids her DH earns less than me (and I earn pittance) her parents paid for her wedding and deposit etc for their flat but they seem to spend money like no tomorrow... right now as I type this her OH is getting ANOTHER tattoo... £350 it's costing.... I would love to have that much money to blow on myself! She's always buying new clothes, takeaways and whatever the kids want... I know they don't have any debts and it REALLY annoys me... I think I'm gonna go get myself a couple of kids and a low earning husband... seems the way to go.
Yep I'm jealous and rant over
I agree it does become an addiction and being on these boards does too even now when I go into the shop to get something for work I'm like how can I save... etc ect! Mad - MSE has taken over my brain!!