Pressure from 'Friends' and people you know

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So, over the past 3 months we have struggled with balancing overdrafts and credit cards to pay for doing our house up. This has left us pretty short every month (we literally had nothing when we bought and the house needed renovation).
The reason for this thread is I just wanted to get some feelings from everyone... we have become very frugal with money now and manage it very well. The only thing we seem to be struggling with is dealing with friends etc. For instance, a lot of the people we know how loads of debt on credit cards and overdrafts, car finance and the like. They don't seem to be able to get it into their heads that not everyone wants to live like that.
Recently I have had comments like 'How can you be skint, we all bought houses and we are not skint' - in reply to us saying we can't go out with them. Or if a big hen do comes up abroad we feel really pressured as we cannot afford this at the moment (we cannot even afford our own holiday never mind a hen do in Barcalona for my OH) so it always ends in them being !!!!ed off with my OH.
These are just a few examples, but at the moment we seem to be really struggling to keep a social life with people we know because they have no problem throwing stuff on CC's etc and worrying about it later. We keep suggesting things that are less expensive but it never ends up happening.
How do you guys balance this sort of thing? Should we look for new friends if we cannot keep up with their life style? Any tips on avoiding problems caused by things like this?
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The reason for this thread is I just wanted to get some feelings from everyone... we have become very frugal with money now and manage it very well. The only thing we seem to be struggling with is dealing with friends etc. For instance, a lot of the people we know how loads of debt on credit cards and overdrafts, car finance and the like. They don't seem to be able to get it into their heads that not everyone wants to live like that.
Recently I have had comments like 'How can you be skint, we all bought houses and we are not skint' - in reply to us saying we can't go out with them. Or if a big hen do comes up abroad we feel really pressured as we cannot afford this at the moment (we cannot even afford our own holiday never mind a hen do in Barcalona for my OH) so it always ends in them being !!!!ed off with my OH.
These are just a few examples, but at the moment we seem to be really struggling to keep a social life with people we know because they have no problem throwing stuff on CC's etc and worrying about it later. We keep suggesting things that are less expensive but it never ends up happening.
How do you guys balance this sort of thing? Should we look for new friends if we cannot keep up with their life style? Any tips on avoiding problems caused by things like this?
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The main thing is to stick to your guns, don't be tempted to give in, you don't want to get into the debt spiral.
No doubt we will be the shoulder to cry on when they are up to their ears in debt though
We all have different priorities, no doubt, but it can be hard to take as a friend if someone is always "too skint" to share in a special occasion with them, and some people take this very personally.
You're spot on with the "you're so lucky", the number of times we hear that and it makes my blood boil!!!
And start looking for peope who have a more compatible attitude to money. It appears that some of these folk take "Because you are worth it" to mean that anyone not prepared to spend loads of dosh on the, (their celebrations) thinks they are not worth it.
Do remember however that getting the house perfect can also be a rod for your own backs. Try to budget in one social event with this lot of mates each month? Possiby one of the cheaper options?
Its sometimes annoying when I have spent all of my wage each month for the past god knows how long getting rid of CC debt, only for a hen do to come along and wipe us out again. Something I don't even get to take part in. I hate being the gate keeper. OH comes to me saying all her friends are doing something and she knows we can't afford it, then she gets paranoid that they will all be talking about her when she's not at whatever it is.
I don't mean to be sexist with this but my male friends seem a lot more understanding then her female friends? I think this is just in our case though and I am not suggesting for a second that all women are like this. Its must be frustrating for my OH seeing them going shopping all the time and going on holidays loads when we can't. Well, we could in the sense of putting it on a CC like all her mates do but we don't want to be slaves to debt!
Also, I should mention that we have paid for everything house wise now so ongoing expenses are just fixed bills but its gonna be a few months until we have spare cash left.
Really know where you are coming from on this - particularly with the hen/stag do part. My OH's brother got married recently and the stag was four nights abroad - which cost everyone that went at least £1,000. I felt guilty for being pleased that he was unable to get the time off work (think he was also a little relieved!). We simply don't have that kind of money.
It's awful to say but my heart sinks slightly when we are invited to weddings. Not because I don't want to go but because the cost - even of being a guest - has got so out of hand. We are also wondering what we are doing wrong. Where do people find the money to think nothing of spending hundreds on an outfit and £6.50 per glass of wine?
We live in a flat which I love and are also spending a fair bit doing up. Don't really have any helpful advice but just wanted to say that you sound very similar to us and have my sympathy. Although really I don't feel we have anything to be sorry for. Living within your means is no something you should be made to feel bad about.
Surely your friends can appreciate that getting the house up-to-standard has taken all your spare cash and that for now at least, other things have to go on the back-burner.
MB
My friends ( and me previously) think nothing of spending loads of cash on basic things. I have been a bit of a hermit recently but got persuaded out at the weekend. Ended up paying over £50 for dinner - more than I'd spent all week on food - and it wasn't even that nice!
Will be stronger and leave the cards at home next time