daughters bedroom

pigpen

kerri_gt wrote: »

I don't have children but I was never allowed to take food up to my room when I lived at home. Even when I was a teenager, I was allowed to take a drink (usually one of the copious cups of tea I would drink) but I had to bring my mug down.

My room was a bit small to become a real pigsty, however, I have heard that the threat of a parent going in to clean the room and deciding what is/isn't rubbish etc is often a good incentive - so long as it's followed through. Going in and removing a few prized poessions can work quite well - with the argument 'well it can't be that important if you can be bothered to look after it' I'd be tempted to remove everything except for the bare minimum from the room - store it elsewhere (garage, loft, shed etc) and only give small amounts back until she/he can keep a room in a respectable state.

That's not to say the room has to be spotless, but the floor should be clear at least.

I followed through on my threat with DD1 and DD2.. DD1 went ballistic at the time but 2 years on decided she is gratfeul as it got all the baby stff out so she could have a grown up room. She also admitted she had no idea where to start so just left it.

DD2 I made a start and made her come and help.. the room was all spick and span.. there is now a pile of laundry on the floor.. not sure if it is clean or dirty but she is picking it up right now..or no dinner... and she LOVES her food!

2gorgeousgirls

I have 2 daughters, 11 & 8. Eight year old is relatively tidy. Dirty clothes are always put in the wash and she keeps her dressing table and bedroom tidy.

Eleven year old totally different. Thinks dressing table and floor are there to be covered with anything and everything. Burrows into her bed at night as it is usually covered with half the contents of her wardrobe.
She's not supposed to have food or drink in her room but I often find stuff there. Constantly giving off about the state of her room and she replies that it is in the only place in the house that is totally hers and surely she should be allowed to have it as she wants it. I think there is some truth in that but I try to point out that, as it is her space she should take pride in keeping it clean.

I do insist that their bedrooms are tidied, hoovered and dusted every Saturday (which they do themselves) but by Sat night 11 yo has her room as untidy as ever. As long as it is clean I can, most of the time, put up with the untidiness.

Having said that she is wonderful, kind, thoughtful and loving and I wouldn't have her any other way. Just the other day we were out shopping and she saw flip flops she knew her sister would like and before I knew it she had bought them for her out of the pocket money she had saved.

I am so proud of both my girls and bore them to tears by telling them so at every opportunity.

balmaiden

My girls are now 35 and 30 with messy kids of their own.

When my younger daughter was growing up, her room was virtually a health hazzard. We threatened her by telling her we would be invaded by rats. Nothing worked, it caused stress for the whole family, with the constant rows. One day I was reading a Mothers harrowing thoughts on losing her young son in an accident. She said something along the lines of "I would give anything to see his muddy sports kit thrown on the floor of his room. I would never nag him again." This really stuck a cord with me and I vowed never to get as stressed over her room again.

Believe me it was far from easy, but every time I felt it getting me down I thought of that poor woman and it helped me to get it into perspective a little.

My daughter now has a good job, a ( messy ) daughter of her own and her own house. She is well liked by everyone who knows her and enjoys life to the full. Housework is still low in her list of priorities, so I doubt I could of changed her no matter how much I nagged or how stressed I got!!

They do move out eventually, and usually, for me anyway, what a sad day that is!

snookey

In reply to teaching my child good habits I do. My daughter is aware of the importance of keeping her room clean and looking after her things but once its in a muddle she does not know where to start tidying. Apart from being a stig of the dump she does look after her toys and does not break them, not on purpose anyway. Lets face it nobody is perfect even adults have bad habits.
I guess life is too short to worry over a child being untidy . Iv a happy, healthy and very intellegent little girl and thats everything.

kerri_gt

snookey wrote: »

In reply to teaching my child good habits I do. My daughter is aware of the importance of keeping her room clean and looking after her things but once its in a muddle she does not know where to start tidying. Apart from being a stig of the dump she does look after her toys and does not break them, not on purpose anyway. Lets face it nobody is perfect even adults have bad habits.
I guess life is too short to worry over a child being untidy . Iv a happy, healthy and very intellegent little girl and thats everything.

If there's enough room in her room, could you put some 'half way' boxes in there for her - she could use these to put things in such as one for clothes, one for toys and such and then once a week put away the things that are in those boxes, going through one at a time - if the 'stuff' is all in one place to start with, and sorted, plus in measurable amounts then she might find it easier to deal with?

olibrofiz

I have a stig too :rotfl:the linen basket has dirty clothes all around it, and damp towels strewn over the bedroom floor. Every surface is piled high with 'stuff'. Leaving 'halfway boxes' out for her would mean they were the only tidy places in the room as they'd be empty

Last time I had a wobbly there was about 10 empty bottles, a variety of empty & half full crisp & choccie packets strewn about the room plus plates & cups. The dog thinks DD16's dirty underwear is a treat and brings it downstairs, and I put it in the bin.... DD is now banned forevermore from having food of any type in her room.

After finding used sanitary pads left in the bedroom, once again, I grounded DD for a month. Bad mistake, easter break and she's hanging around the house and whinging until 29th April.

Have tried everything, grounding, taking priviledges & allowance away, promises, ranting, reasoning, shaming. Even making her pay the £145 emergency vet bill when the dog ate 200g of chocolate.

I now have fingers crossed that, when she's older, she has a daughter

Edit: Oh, and I even threw all her dirty clothes out of the window once - she brought it all in and stuffed it under the sofa in the lounge, grrrrrr.

pigpen

olibrofiz wrote: »

I have a stig too :rotfl:the linen basket has dirty clothes all around it, and damp towels strewn over the bedroom floor. Every surface is piled high with 'stuff'. Leaving 'halfway boxes' out for her would mean they were the only tidy places in the room as they'd be empty

Last time I had a wobbly there was about 10 empty bottles, a variety of empty & half full crisp & choccie packets strewn about the room plus plates & cups. The dog thinks DD16's dirty underwear is a treat and brings it downstairs, and I put it in the bin.... DD is now banned forevermore from having food of any type in her room.

After finding used sanitary pads left in the bedroom, once again, I grounded DD for a month. Bad mistake, easter break and she's hanging around the house and whinging until 29th April.

Have tried everything, grounding, taking priviledges & allowance away, promises, ranting, reasoning, shaming. Even making her pay the £145 emergency vet bill when the dog ate 200g of chocolate.

I now have fingers crossed that, when she's older, she has a daughter

Edit: Oh, and I even threw all her dirty clothes out of the window once - she brought it all in and stuffed it under the sofa in the lounge, grrrrrr.

Well, I am wetting myself laughing here... sorry... lol...

The dog vets bill did OH in too... I know choc is very dangerous for doggies but we laughed anyway that he would be so greedy as to eat it all!!! My mothers yorkie once ate 7 lion bars and my sisters advent calendar!

kerri_gt

pigpen wrote: »

Well, I am wetting myself laughing here... sorry... lol...

The dog vets bill did OH in too... I know choc is very dangerous for doggies but we laughed anyway that he would be so greedy as to eat it all!!! My mothers yorkie once ate 7 lion bars and my sisters advent calendar!

:rotfl::rotfl: did the Yorkie open the doors to the advent calendar? :rotfl::rotfl:My OH's parents used to have a jack russell....who was very partial to flumps, and our cat is partial to Skips, Naan bread with chilli saice and Kit Kats

sarah*a

pigpen wrote: »

My mothers yorkie once ate 7 lion bars and my sisters advent calendar!

kerri_gt wrote: »

:rotfl::rotfl: did the Yorkie open the doors to the advent calendar? :rotfl::rotfl:My OH's parents used to have a jack russell....who was very partial to flumps

My little Terrier managed to empty OH's advent calendar last year without tearing the box :eek: Thankfully he had a vets appt the next day so we got him checked over but he was OK

He'd climb over hot coals for Marshmallows too :rotfl:

We have a 16yo DD who stays here maybe only 2 days a month and she can turn her room from a tidy, useable space to a complete dump in less than 12 hours. I've completely gotten fed-up with tidying up after her that I told her that the next time I had to clean her room the clothes and 'stuff' would go to charity and the rest would be boxed up and put in storage ....... and I've done exactly that

TBH it probably should have been done a long time ago as 80%+ of the stuff she'd outgrown and I didn't get rid of anything I know she actually uses but she'll get a shock next time she's here.

kazmeister

olibrofiz wrote: »

I have a stig too :rotfl:the linen basket has dirty clothes all around it, and damp towels strewn over the bedroom floor. Every surface is piled high with 'stuff'. Leaving 'halfway boxes' out for her would mean they were the only tidy places in the room as they'd be empty

Last time I had a wobbly there was about 10 empty bottles, a variety of empty & half full crisp & choccie packets strewn about the room plus plates & cups. The dog thinks DD16's dirty underwear is a treat and brings it downstairs, and I put it in the bin.... DD is now banned forevermore from having food of any type in her room.

After finding used sanitary pads left in the bedroom, once again, I grounded DD for a month. Bad mistake, easter break and she's hanging around the house and whinging until 29th April.

Have tried everything, grounding, taking priviledges & allowance away, promises, ranting, reasoning, shaming. Even making her pay the £145 emergency vet bill when the dog ate 200g of chocolate.

I now have fingers crossed that, when she's older, she has a daughter

Edit: Oh, and I even threw all her dirty clothes out of the window once - she brought it all in and stuffed it under the sofa in the lounge, grrrrrr.

Sorry I had to laugh too but then my DD hasnt reached her teens yet. I cant deal with her room either, and I have tried everything over the years. She takes food up and hides it including dog food and the cats when we had them. I think the worst was probably when I discovered she'd spilt banana milkshake on her mattress about a week after she had done it and yes she had still been sleeping in it - uuuurgh. This week I moved one of the cushions in the living room and it rustled. Inside was a crisp wrapper and inside that was some rotting black piece of vegetation, I mean Why! theres a bin and a fireplace in the room they could have been put but no, to unzip a cushion cover and put it inside is not normal.

We are supposed to be decorating her room this week and 2 days ago she had floor in her room but I cant find it now so there'll be no redec until it reappears.

Good luck