Nearly 30, in debt, lost and nervous! I need to change.

Lost_and_nervous

topbargainhunter wrote: »

Hi Lost, I just read your diary in my lunch break, and had to post. Not only are you working part time, you're also doing a full time job as a mother, house keeper etc (which seeems to go completely un-noticed by your OH). If he had to pay a housekeeper and childminder how much would it cost?

Anyway the main reason I posted is to say your OH and family/toxic friends seem to be forever running you down, and making you depressed. Don't let them get to you, you are a strong, determined woman, who would probably get on a hell of a lot better if she had some support instead of the moaning and criticising. You would be far happier if you didn't have to deal with them I'm sure. I know it's a bit strong, but if I were you, I'd avoid them like the plague until I'd sorted out my other problems. Once you've got to grip with your finances and housework issues, you'll have renewed energy and self esteem and will be able to shrug off these nasty petty comments, or better still give them back a few home truths about their own shortcomings!

Sorry about the rant I just hate people who run others down.

Hi there, thank you so much for taking the time to read my diary in your lunch break. Your post bought a tear to my eye, everything goes un-noticed in this house, you are so right, but I suppose I just get on with it. Its LIFE!

I try to avoid but they letch on and I never seem to have the time to just 'crack on' with things. I really want to get a grip with finances and housework.

Its so lovely you have posted. Thank you so much xx

Lost_and_nervous

mummytogirls wrote: »

Hi Lost ive also rediscovered the local library since trying to become a MSE!!! Hope your book gives you some good tips xx

Thanks mummy, glad to hear you have rediscovered it and its towards becoming a MSE! Its really good the book! Hope your ok! xx

Lost_and_nervous

What a higgerly piggerly morning well day yesterday and this morning. why why why oh and why!??!!
:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

girlatplay

Everything ok Lost?

Keep your chin up

Gap x

ebayqueen_2

Whats up Lost

If you feel like getting it off your chest, let us know.

Thinking about you:A

Lost_and_nervous

I have been feeling very anxious the last couple of days, the finances/debt/clutter/work is getting to me and making me a little anxious. I havent seemed to achieve anything and all my to do's just seem to keep getting bigger. I feel swamped by it all, I feel swamped by life at the moment. I have come to the conclusion that I do actually need to act like a single parent with some things, I think I dream too much which doesnt help. be right back xx


im back! What a lovely day I have had just spending some time with DD in the sun. OH was about earlier then off to work he went for a bit, back from a few hrs out, DD is having a nap so going to crack on with some jobs, Ive been feeling down, and everything is on top of me, the money situation is awful I am so pennyless again. But I know what I want to do, I know what I need to do and now I just need to put it in action. Submitted my Avon order, just need to wait to see how much I will earn from that. Also all the clutter I have, well I have a hoarding problem so I know this and want to sort it out, but I also have a cash flow problem too so what have I come out with.... start sorting through things, things i am not really attached to I am going to list on ebay, putting them in their own little place and see if they sell and if they do then they will need to go!

off I go for a bit! xx

girlatplay

Good plan Lost Just focus on one thing at a time. Don't spend hours on one thing and have regular breaks.

Glad you have had a good day with DD. Quality time for you both together is a need as well as a must.

I'm sorry you have been feeling anxious again. I wish I could help. Try to stay calm and focus. Well done for getting the Avon order in.

Gap xx

Eager_Elephant

Hi Lost

I have been subscribed for a while - not sure how I came across your diary.

I just wanted to let you know you are not alone with a OH who thinks bills have to be shared equally. I used to have an income of about £800pm (wages, CB and CSA) and DH had an income of at least £1200 sometimes more depending on expenses but he always said that the bills should be split 50/50 - of course I disagreed at the time but it only caused arguments so I left it and I pay 50/50 still.

However I have more opportunity to earn extra money so that is what I have been doing and now my income is nearly the same as DH's.

We both have debt and we each know that the other has debt however I am paying mine off slowly but surely and DH was racking his up - he added £10,000 in one year - but at least he can't blame it on me making him pay more to household bills. (I say was as since he took ill in January I have been helping him with his finances and I have done a budget spreadsheet for him which he can update each day or week!!)

Given all the above I still think you need to split the bills more evenly based on actual income.

As other people have said take things slowly and try not to get too overwhelmed. I think it is a good idea to try ebay to get rid of some clutter - make sure you use the royal mail website to work out postage correctly - there is nothing worse than undercharging and being out of pocket.

EE

ebayqueen_2

Hi Lost

Lots of good advice for you there. I know how you feel I have been there. I hid mine for a long time and found the strain immense. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Try not to let it overwhelm you and take strength from the hugs of your DD. This will get you through. Its good to get out and fill your lungs with good fresh air. This will reduce your anxiety. Take care of yourself. Have you checked out the recipes on this site. Its amazing what you can create from very little. Also its amazing what will sell on ebay.

What I am doing at the moment is listing 5 items a day. That keeps me in control and not being overwhelmed with 30 finishing on the one day.

Good luck with the Avon. Remember we are here for you to get you through this.

God bles
E:A

Lost_and_nervous

girlatplay wrote: »

Good plan Lost Just focus on one thing at a time. Don't spend hours on one thing and have regular breaks.

Glad you have had a good day with DD. Quality time for you both together is a need as well as a must.

I'm sorry you have been feeling anxious again. I wish I could help. Try to stay calm and focus. Well done for getting the Avon order in.

Gap xx

Thanks Gap, thank you and yes breaks are a must! You do help! You help so much!!! xx