Nearly 30, in debt, lost and nervous! I need to change.

ebayqueen_2

Hi there Lost

I agree with everything Girlatplay says. I fight depression with good food and exercise. The endorphins really do kick in and raises your mood. It takes a while to feel good about yourself. Starting putting yourself first for a change. If you need 10 mins to relax take them and you will be fitter as a result. Try and not think about all the 'little annoying people' this gets me down when I do this. Make your home your haven. Your place of refuge from the world. Might sound corny but it works for me.

You are carrying a great deal on your shoulders and that wears you down. Think of every £10 you pay of your debt as a little less weight for you to carry.

I do feel for you and you will be able to get rid of this debt. It will require very hard work but you are more than capable of this. As I have said before you are not alone. Come on here and let us help you.

How is the Avon going?

God bless
E

Slowdown

Hello Lost,
I have only just found this diary and felt compelled to reply on the basis that you do not seem to see the true you.

From where I am sitting I see a brave, determined, loving person. You bounce back time and time again from the kicks delivered by debt companies, part time income, toxic friends and family and saddest of all an unsupportive OH.

Time to stop beating yourself up I think and look at yourself in the daylight.

You have proven your strength and bravery (you came on here and made a start)

You have proven your determination (ebay, avon, overtime)

You have proven you can be positive ( Is it not you who keeps picking yourself up and beginning again despite all of it?)

I don't think I need to point out with whom you are loving!

What a woman! Many people collapse under the pressure. They rely on all sorts of crutches to get them through from alcohol to drugs to violence to....I could go on. But no. You have simply found some great friends on here, a sense of purpose and control and every single thing you tackle from here on in builds a little brick in your wall of success.

Do not look back but continue to find new ways of dealing with things.

And most of all remember you are of equal importance to everyone else in the world. You are a strong, worthy person who deserves respect and support...especially from those closest to you!

You have my most sincere support and admiration for even trying.:)

ebayqueen_2

Slowdown...that is a lovely posting. Keep encouraging Lost.

take care
E

kelpie35

ebayqueen wrote: »

Slowdown...that is a lovely posting. Keep encouraging Lost.

take care
E

I can only second that. It actually brought a few tears.

Hugs to you all and a special big one to lost :A

girlatplay

kelpie35 wrote: »

I can only second that. It actually brought a few tears.

I can only third it It is what I have wanted to say all along. Brought a tear to my eyes as well.

Gap xx

Lost_and_nervous

girlatplay wrote: »

The thread is called Payment a Day but you only really need to PAD as and when you can. I try to do it every day because I am quite addicted to it now but I don't think they would throw you off if you did it once a week or so

Yes, I think you are saying the thank you's because your self-esteem is so low. Not an easy one to deal with. Think positive thoughts as much as possible. Exercise is supposed to be good for bringing out the endorphins which make you happy. Do things that you enjoy. Do things that make you happy. Don't always listen to the people who put you down, try to start letting it roll off your back. OH is as much responsible for DD as you are. Let him buy her stuff. Say things like "that is lovely" or "that's great that you got her that" instead of bowing your head in gratefulness (I know that you are grateful but I don't suppose OH thanks you when you buy DD stuff )

Laughter is a reallly good thing. As DD gets older you will find yourself laughing more and more at her wee antics.:rotfl:

Try to do one thing every day that makes you happy. Make a point of it. Turn as many negatives into positives as you can.

Take care

Gap x

Hi Gap, thats really good that you are addicted to PAD! I would worry about being thrown off! Ive decided to do my own PAD which I am writing down in my notepad then ill update on here.

You are so right, but I am finding it hard. And No he never thanks me!

Ive written a list of what I want to do daily including things which make me happy.

Thank you for being here for me! xxx

Lost_and_nervous

ebayqueen wrote: »

Hi there Lost

I agree with everything Girlatplay says. I fight depression with good food and exercise. The endorphins really do kick in and raises your mood. It takes a while to feel good about yourself. Starting putting yourself first for a change. If you need 10 mins to relax take them and you will be fitter as a result. Try and not think about all the 'little annoying people' this gets me down when I do this. Make your home your haven. Your place of refuge from the world. Might sound corny but it works for me.

You are carrying a great deal on your shoulders and that wears you down. Think of every £10 you pay of your debt as a little less weight for you to carry.

I do feel for you and you will be able to get rid of this debt. It will require very hard work but you are more than capable of this. As I have said before you are not alone. Come on here and let us help you.

How is the Avon going?

God bless
E

Hi E, thank you for your kind words too, how many times a week do you exercise? I find it hard to put myself first just because well being the lazy person who doesnt do anything at all just moan, I always put the needs of OH first. I am naughty for thinking of all the little annoying people, and then I get wound up and its one vicious circle.

I really want to make my home my haven, I truely do, at the moment theres tension, I need to un-tense the house.

Thank you so much for your positive loving words, it doesnt feel like it though.

I need to go out again and collet more money, thats the hard bit! xxx

Lost_and_nervous

Slowdown wrote: »

Hello Lost,
I have only just found this diary and felt compelled to reply on the basis that you do not seem to see the true you.

From where I am sitting I see a brave, determined, loving person. You bounce back time and time again from the kicks delivered by debt companies, part time income, toxic friends and family and saddest of all an unsupportive OH.

Time to stop beating yourself up I think and look at yourself in the daylight.

You have proven your strength and bravery (you came on here and made a start)

You have proven your determination (ebay, avon, overtime)

You have proven you can be positive ( Is it not you who keeps picking yourself up and beginning again despite all of it?)

I don't think I need to point out with whom you are loving!

What a woman! Many people collapse under the pressure. They rely on all sorts of crutches to get them through from alcohol to drugs to violence to....I could go on. But no. You have simply found some great friends on here, a sense of purpose and control and every single thing you tackle from here on in builds a little brick in your wall of success.

Do not look back but continue to find new ways of dealing with things.

And most of all remember you are of equal importance to everyone else in the world. You are a strong, worthy person who deserves respect and support...especially from those closest to you!

You have my most sincere support and admiration for even trying.:)

I really dont know what to say except thank you so so so much for taking the time post and say such wonderful things. You have bought a tear to my eyes. I really cant believe you have picked all of this out of my diary. I am speechless. Thank you xxxx

Lost_and_nervous

I love coming on here so much, its amazing how many wonderful friends I now have. I truely have been blessed with you all, its wonderful. I feel I have a purpose.

Its been a bit of a whirlwind week, done my overtime on my working days, very very very long days for me but clocked up 5 hours! I slept well both nights!

I have been working on my budget and I reveiled more debt but I am feeling ok as i have been working on a plan of what I need to do. My monthly outgoings are ridiculous, its shameful! I will post all the details on here when I have more time! Yes its painful!

I have decided to do a PAD but will do it on my diary.

Also I am going to write to all my creditors to ask to reduce the payments and then concentrate on the biggest debt first and the little ones can get a reduced payment. I really want to get the big one down first.

I need to find out if I can request the loan company to reduce the monthly payment as its 128 a month I am paying and I still have over a year left. Would it effect my credit rating?

Also I received a letter re my PPI and they have refused to pay me it so I am going straight to the financial ombudsman, I have the form just need to complete it.

I also pay british gas for the boiler and electrics cover :eek: 23.93 a month :eek: its ridiculous!

These are just a couple of bits that I have been thinking about.

OH has been treating me wonderfully - ok no he hasnt! I am lazy, I dont do enough, how can he do more stuff than me in little time. The usual! But then doesnt want me to do things when he is in as thats time to spend together. I cant win, I really cant.

xxx

Lost_and_nervous

All these amounts are to go directly off the largest debt as thats the one I really want to get down. I will be putting all the money into a money box then every month I will change it up and pay it towards the debt as an extra!

12/06 - 6p
13/06 - 48p
14/06 - 1p
15/06 - 2p