Nearly 30, in debt, lost and nervous! I need to change.

Lost_and_nervous

ebayqueen wrote: »

Morning lost

You sound very positive and organised. Keep going.

I would have a chat with other half and tell him how he is making you feel. Do you think he is under severe pressure at work. Don't beat yourself up remember you know you are a unique one of a kind lovely lady and you will sort this lot out.

I'm sorry I can't give you any advice about contacting companies re payment reduction but I am sure there are others on here who can. Search the forum and see if anything comes up.

I'm delighted that you are finding this site and us lot a help to you.

May God bless you and give you the strength to cope with all life throws at you.

E

Thank you for your wonderful post as always, I really dont know what is up with him, we had an argument and he says that ts me, I bring everything down and dont do anything.

Thank you xxx

Lost_and_nervous

kdenty wrote: »

Hey don't feel like that. Your still here posting so I know you haven't given up. No one is stupid or a failure or anything like you have just said. Please don't feel bad. Your trying to do your best and that's all anyone can do.

My OH is being fairly unsupportive right now and I've just read what Slowdown put and it really all makes sense. Go back and read that as I can't put it any better myself.

Thank you so much for caring. I am sorry that your OH is being unsupportive right now too. We need to stick together. xxx

Lost_and_nervous

ebayqueen wrote: »

You are feeling down Lost. Keep remembering you are keeping all this debt to yourself so it puts major strain on you. You are not being punished. You are feeling guilty and this is what makes you feel this way. You have to forgive yourself and try and change the situation. You will achieve....we will make sure of it:j

Have you been in contact with your creditors?

Get a notebook .... small enough to fit in your handbag. Start each day/few days/week with your total debt and try and PAD regularly. Use half the book for your daily weekly spend too. Once you start writing things down and talking to yourself about it (:o:p thats me) it will be easier for you to handle.

Think about it this way....if you do nothing .... nothing will change and you will continue to feel this way.

Do a little bit at a time and things will change .... slowly but surely....and so will you.

Your self esteem will rise and you will be able to cope with things better.

How are you feeling today.

:A:wave:

Thank you , its so hard to forgive myself for it, I feel so bad at the moment. Thank you for being so close to me. To be honest with you I havent done anything this week as I have been feeling so down. I have got a notebook. but like everything else not been writing in it. I have totally lost my way.

Thank you and you are so right, i just need to try and overcome these bad moments that bring me down so much. xxx

Lost_and_nervous

kdenty wrote: »

I know when I first worked out how much debt I was in it was a frightening lonely worrying time. But as ebayqueen says little steps and you will start to get somewhere and feel much more positive.
I know I have a long way to go with my own debt but I feel so much more positive and know I'm getting somewhere. It takes time for it to all fall into place.

Thank you for posting, its great to hear that someone has overcome that frightening lonely time. Did you have moments where you didnt want to or feel like doing anything? xxx

Lost_and_nervous

girlatplay wrote: »

Lost, what ebayqueen says is right. If you do nothing, nothing will change. Do a little bit at a time and things will change I know you already have a note pad so get filling it!

You are not at all a failure or pathetic. I know why you feel like that but you have to force those thoughts out of your head. Don't let other people control your mind. DD is just little and it is hard being a mum, even harder when you have to do it with very little support. You want life to be good for DD's sake but you feel like everything you do is wrong. You are going to have to be strong and ignore the unkind, unhelpful things others say to you in real life.

Please do one tiny thing each day and write it in your note pad. If you feel like it you could post what you have done on here. If not, just keep it for yourself to remind yourself of the things you have done. Even if it is just vaccuming the lounge floor, taking the rubbish out or wiping down the kitchen surfaces, just one little, tiny thing each day

Gap xx

You are so right, you are all so right. I really dont know whats wrong with me. other people do control my mind, all the time and i find it hard to get them out of it.

I need to get back into the swing of it. Thank you xxx

Lost_and_nervous

I need to have a positive day, I am fed up of having down days, I want to have good days, I want to be happy, I want to be productive I want to be a better person.

I want to sort the debt out, I want to be organised, I want to be in control.

I posted about reducing loan payments on the loan section of the forum but didnt get too much back so I am going to post on the DFW to see if I get anything back.

I will succeed! I will not be lost and I will not be nervous! I need to take baby steps and I need to do something daily. I am doing it for me, DD and my sanity!

Thank you all, you are truely amazing! xxx

girlatplay

Well that was a positive post (apart from the loan forum!)

You know what you want to do, just put it into action.

We are all here for you

xxx

ebayqueen_2

I agree with Girlatplay....that is a positive....you must feel better when you sit down and read your words.

Keep going Lost...you will get there.

God bless
E

kelpie35

Go girl.............keep positive.............you'll get there :A

kdenty

Lost_and_nervous wrote: »

Thank you for posting, its great to hear that someone has overcome that frightening lonely time. Did you have moments where you didnt want to or feel like doing anything? xxx

Yes Back then and sometimes now I have those moments of doubt where I just feel like giving up and handing over the credit card to buy some luxury item I don't really need.

At first it was difficult as I had no clue what actually happened to my money each month. I kept a spending diary but to me it didn't make much sense until I combined it with my budget. I worked out how much I need (as I'm self employed and my income varies), what all the house bills are, then the shopping, petrol , card payments etc. I put it on a spreadsheet and can see how much should be left each month for extra payments or spending. I keep that figure on my phone and update it when I spend so always know what I have left over. I currently have £113 left until next pay day (mid July)