There is light at the end of the tunnel

girlatplay

I have the weirdest dreams no matter what I watch. It was very scary for her loumac

Itsa, I found it difficult when I thought they were guilty too. I was only a secretary so I didn't have to defend them myself, my boss did, but when I was typing up statements I kept thinking to myself "you lying 84$t4rd!!" Also, I didn't like the ones where it was young people doing stupid things. That is them with a criminal record for the rest of their lives for something so stupid that could have completely been avoided. Yes, prosecuting would be far more fun!

One of my favourite crime fiction writers is Patricia Cornwell. I have read all her books though so I just read random authors when I see a book I think I would quite like. I like real crime too. I have a forensics book that I bought a few years ago. I was reading through it and there were many pictures but one in particular was a guy who had committed suicide by putting a shot gun into his mouth and blowing his head off. It was a black and white picture but I must admit, I put the book down after seeing that and I haven't opened it again since. I love CSI, Criminal Minds and programmes like that (I know they are not accurate but I just enjoy them). I have no problems sleeping after reading / watching but if I watch something like Most Haunted I do have to keep the lights on until the last minute before bed

£1.30 to PAD today. Some change for sealed pot.

To Gap-Parents for tea tonight. LM is away to a cookery class today and tomorrow so that will probably be my lunch for tomorrow and Thursday! She loves it!!

Miserable day here it's raining and the sun has long since disappeared :( AND it's Tuesday, the worst day of the week.

Oh well, at least I am alive and healthy :cool:

Gap x

girlatplay

With Mr G having moved in I have been doing a lot of moving and clearing of stuff. Last night I had a pile of paperwork about half a meter high which needed sorted through. I sorted it into shredding / bin / filing. The shredding stuff is in a pile waiting to be shredded, the bin stuff is binned (5 supermarket bags full :eek:) and the filing stuff is down the side of the couch waiting to be filed

Anyway, my point is that when I was going through it all I found stuff from the days when things were really bad. I found a letter from Sheriff Officers about the council tax, a letter from the DSS re my social fund loan (asking for repayment - I had to apply for the loan in the first place because I didn't even have two pennies to rub together and we had no food or power) and demand letters from a certain utility provider. I found notes I had written to myself to remind me of things I had to do and different payments I was able to make / not make. It is amazing how it all came flooding back, the tears, the stress, the worry etc. It made me sit for a minute and realise just how far I have come and just how fortunate I am now. I have worked soooo hard to get to where I am today but last night showed me just how worth it it has all been. I am so close to the end of it all (i.e. the loan) I can almost taste it. I want to bring my debt free date forward but I am too scared to change it in my signature in case I fail. The chances of me failing are slim but I don't want to tempt fate. I have so much determination to get rid of this last bit of my rotten past.

There, just had to let that all out

Gap x

mrsb83_2

You've made such excellent progress - I try not to think about how bad things were before my LBM, it scares me.

I know what you mean about moving the DFD forward - I was the same but now I'm proud that I'm making progress and want to record it in my signature. Even if it takes you an extra 3 months to become DF, you've failed nobody. It's still an awesome achievement, and putting it in your sig might be a a good motivator.

mummytogirls

OMG Gap can you imagine finding someone stood there your hallway? I would die! Thats why I like having the dog as no-one would get passed him!!

Awww Gap sometimes I get reminded of for instance 2 years ago when I was on maternity leave and things were at their worst... It makes me feel sick at the though! But yes you should be so proud of how far you have come :T xxx

loumac

:beer: :j :beer: :j To all the progress made so far! xx

girlatplay

Aww thanks girls

mrsb - I moved my debt free date from March 2013 to December 2012 as I know that is totally doable. Ideally I would like to make it December 2011 but that is a huge challenge and I don't like failing so I'm not ready to commit to that and change my signature. I have a small emergency fund which I would be willing to use to pay off the end of the debt when it comes to that but there is nowhere near enough in it to clear the loan yet so I am plodding on trying to make as many overpayments as I can. You can see from what I PAD that it is not huge amounts every day.

mummy - I guess we just have to look to the future and only see the bad things in the past as a reminder that we are NEVER going there again!! (Lesson well and truly learned)

loumac - Thank you, I could really use a beer right now!! :cool:

Itsadogslife_2

You are doing so well GAP, if I were you I would be so proud of myself. I will hopefully be looking back at this past year in a few years time thinking about how lucky I will be then that it will be gone (or nearly be gone) but my journey seems such a long one. My only relief is that although the amount is HUGE, it has never turned into bad debt, missed payments, chasing letters etc. I pay the minimum required each month and that has been part of my battle with my OH getting him to realise that there is a problem and that it isn't actually coming down at all and at this rate we will be in debt till we die. I think we are finally there now, and the past two/three months I really feel like I am getting there with the last month being paramount to OHs complete acceptance of the situation (I think he must be worried!) :cool:

When I worked in criminal I was a secretary too and it amazed me how many documents and hearings were procedural and that the youngsters didn't even seem to take it seriously - very frustrating.

And now we all know the secret date - we won't tell a soul

girlatplay

Thank you Itsa. You will look back at this in a few years time and be really proud of yourself too. In circa. January 2007 and just before that I had absolutely nothing. I was living in a horrible council flat and I barely had two pennies. All the furniture I had was either from a charity or donated by family friends or aquaintances. If someone had told me that in 4 years time I would own (mortgage) my own home, have my own car, bills all paid and one loan with payments up to date AND be able to find £100 per month out of nowhere (my PAD's, they seem to come from nowhere!!) I would seriously have laughed at them. I would have thought they were trying to make me feel better but were being cruel in the process. I have worked so g0d d4mmned hard to get here but there is still a little way to go yet. I am proud of myself to an extent but will be even more proud when it is finished.

Yes, and don't anyone tell the secret date :rotfl:

girlatplay

£1.80 to PAD today. I counted the box of PAD change (I bank it at the end of the month) as I like doing that now and again and there was an extra 50p in it! Don't know how I managed that but added that to today's PAD.

Updated council tax to take off my single person discount It is now an extra £41 per month :eek: Oh well, the joy of living with Mr G (and it is joyous so far - we are less than a week in though so not getting over excited just yet )

Ordered school trousers, skirt and shorts for LM so collecting them tomorrow. Got the money ready to pay.

Mr G is going to give me his "dig money" on a Friday morning, weekly, so that will be helpful too. Just got a smallish balance on the cc to pay off then once that is done I will be putting the money aside.

I know we are only at 3rd but this month seems to be bearable moneywise. I thought it would be tight because of the MOT but even although I have put the clutch money aside, I seem to be not too bad. As long as nothing major comes up then we will live, with tight belts but live nonetheless.

Lovely day here so far. Hopefully it keeps up.

Have a great day everyone.

Gap x

Itsadogslife_2

I seem to live with tight belts all the time lately (but that is actually with my clothes ) I weighed myself this morning, I think I have lost another 2lb so that means I am only 3 lb away from what my target weight watchers weight was. I can so easily creep up to 11st 5lb from 11st - I don't know how it happens (no more croissants for breakfast at the weekend....).

Weather here is so close, hot and humid. It keeps spitting with rain and I feel a bit of a pressure headache coming on. I think a good storm might make it less muggy though. I took the dog for a walk earlier and I came back and was dripping :eek: (yuk) I don't like it when it is this hot (I don't like it cold either as I feel the cold) When it is all hot, it makes me tired - I could quite easily have a sleep now.........